Diary Entry # 248 "February 4th" (How God Worked from Jan. 28 - Feb. 4)

[00:00:00] Hello and happy February 4th diary listeners. That is the title of today's diary entry and I think you'll notice it with the post that I'm changing the look a little bit. I'm kind of liking the rhythm of letting stories kind of gifts create the images for the day and just seeing what's happening out there.

[00:00:30] I might use AI eventually just to have fun just to play with it and get myself I don't know. I want I want I want this to be playful and why not right. So enjoy listeners I have a lot to say today. Welcome to the Apprenticeship Diaries where raw meets refined. Let's be real we're still working on the fun.

[00:00:59] What it took, what it takes and the stories that are made. Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin. Alright I want to start with something that is a big thing. Apparently this is, apparently, it is Black History Month.

[00:01:25] I wanted to give you guys some insights about a few things that I researched right before I got on the horn here. February 4th apparently is the first thing that came up was this is World Cancer Day by UICC.

[00:01:47] I don't know if it's cancer as in the astrological sign or cancer as in the illness. I don't. I hope this is an advocacy thing. I didn't read more about it, to be honest with you guys, but apparently it's World Cancer Day. This day in history, just in general on this day in 1945 during the final stages of World War Two.

[00:02:15] The Yalta Conference opened with Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, and Joseph Stalin meeting to plan the final defeat and occupation of Nazi Germany. So that's pretty cool. And then this day in Black History, because we're in that month, in 1870, the 15th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, guaranteeing the right to vote regardless of race.

[00:02:43] The amendment was also intended to ensure civil rights for those who were formerly enslaved. So big day, big day. Hopefully, you know, you guys can let me know if you like these fun facts. These are just general facts that Google is obliged to give me in a very modest search. What I start out with is the date, February 4th. And I just see what comes up.

[00:03:11] And that's that. And then purposely, I sought out the Bible verse for the day. I always get two. I get one from dailyverses.com or .net. I'm sorry, .net. And then I also get the people also ask, what is the Bible verse for the month of February? I didn't look into that. I did what is the Bible verse for today. And the Bible verse for today is John 13, 34.

[00:03:41] Jesus said, and now I give you a new commandment. Love one another as I have loved you. So you must love one another. So that's what Google came up with, apparently. I don't know what really sets the trends with these things, but it's a great verse. It's a New Testament commandment, which is huge.

[00:04:06] The only other commandment within what God prescribed in the New Testament was to believe in him, that he is the path and the way to heaven. So that was the invocation of the New Testament and those new commandments. It was also the fulfillment of the sacrificial law because Christ gave of himself. So cool.

[00:04:33] And then as far as dailyverses.net, their Bible verse of the day is Psalm 82, 3. And it is defend the weak and the fatherless. Hold up, uphold, I'm sorry, uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. So all good things. I think that these are, these are wonderful things.

[00:05:01] I, you know, every time I read the Bible, I'm never, never upset. And as, as far as like learning fun fact toys, you know, you got Snapple facts, you got, you got fortune cookies, got all these different things. Now you have, uh, the apprenticeship diaries. Hopefully I can ground your day with some fun insights and give you something at the top of this diary.

[00:05:26] Listen, uh, that might, might, you know, encourage you to keep listening or at the very least you walk away with something you didn't have at the top. Uh, so that's cool. And that's my aim. Um, I wanted to talk about this past week. Uh, I had the blessing of tattooing Gabriel, my client, my new client, the Gabriel from, uh, um, I'm sorry. I'm, I'm from Chile, from Chile.

[00:05:55] I don't know why I had just talked to another client and she had mentioned going and visiting Peru often. And I just, my head just kept going Peru, Peru. And I was like, that's not right. That's not right. Um, so he's from Chile and, uh, we have a great time and we just did a really cool tattoo for him. I haven't posted it yet on my main page. I want to, uh, it was very angry by the end of it.

[00:06:17] Uh, meaning his skin was quite pissed at me by the end, but we did a, um, alkaline trio cassette tape, which I, I had to ask him because he's younger. I was like, have you, have you even like, have you even played one of these? And he said, he's, he's done a, uh, VHS tape. Like he's played one of those and it was an old cartoon, but, uh, he, and I think he said Tom and Jerry was the cartoon if I recall correctly.

[00:06:45] But, uh, he said he's never played, uh, a musical cassette cassette tape, but the whole time Rico, while I was doing the stencil for the tattoo, he was like, my God, he's got great, great music tastes. I love alkaline trio. And then he rambled off a bunch of other music and, uh, yeah. So Rico was geeking out as he always does, uh, in regards to, uh, my work, which is really cool. It, it always excites him.

[00:07:13] Um, he, uh, he was very excited to see the tattoo, which came out pretty well. And Gabriel was very happy. Um, I hope it heals well. I hope he is healing well. He is a very awesome young man. And I'm, um, I'm excited to, to have an, a new person and also a young person. I mean, it's crazy that it's crazy that I'm tattooing people that they were born the year after I graduated.

[00:07:43] High school. I mean, it's just wild to me. Um, you know, they, they warned me, they warned me that it would be like this. They all did. They said it was coming and it was going to be like this. So, uh, here we are, here we are. Um, but a lot of cool things happened this week. Um, I, I did have to miss church, which was a little, you know, I always, I always feel pretty bad.

[00:08:12] Um, missing church, particularly because I have two people, no, three people at church that I'm, I'm trying to be of regular service to, but I've dropped the ball on them many times now. And I kind of feel awful. They're very graceful and they give me a lot of leeway, but I've been trying to like, you know, just cut their hair for them and, you know, give them something that I can do that. It's very easy for me.

[00:08:38] Um, but I, like I either forget to bring my stuff, uh, which happens quite often or, um, I'll commit to going and then not look at my schedule and realize that I can't make it, uh, or I can't make it happen that week. So that's unfortunate. I feel awful about that. So it's Nelda, Emmanuel and Donna. I am so sorry, uh, that I left you hanging this week. I had no intention of doing that. It, uh, it happened. It happened.

[00:09:07] And I was upset that it was happening. Uh, honestly, it's not, it's not fun for me either to, to feel that way. And I know they don't put any pressure on me, but it, it just, it felt bad to, to leave them hanging, knowing that I had said the week before that I wanted to cut their hair, which I do. I definitely do. Wednesday was the coolest day last week with Gabriel. Tattooing felt good. I, I love tattooing guys.

[00:09:37] I really, really do. And I love people. Um, I guess, you know, I love the Bible verses. That we, uh, expressed right now. And, uh, a recognition of, um, uh, black history and just history in general, uh, American history. We're going through a lot of history right now, uh, on a moment to moment basis.

[00:10:02] We have a new administration and it seems like every day something else is happening. We're having confirmation hearings. I'm having a lot of people like break down, uh, on social medias. And, um, I guess, I guess for a second before I go into like the very fun part of what happened later in the week.

[00:10:26] I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm witnessing pretty much at, at this stage.

[00:10:43] I think, uh, the same thing that happened to me really in 2020 happened to a lot of people who work with the government and who have government contracts, who work in these bureaucracies and in these agencies that, um, you know, they're, they're losing their jobs. They're, they're, they're losing funding and all of these things.

[00:11:11] And, uh, I, I feel for that. I do. I, I do. Uh, I also have to say that there's a part of me, uh, not, not a good part of me, but a very honest part of me that feels vindicated about this.

[00:11:29] Um, I, I, I, I think that, I think that this has been pushed to a breaking point and I am, I do have compassion for people who have built their lives around certain things and thought they had security and now finding that they're not secure.

[00:11:52] Um, the only thing that I'm trying very hard to communicate to people who I don't think have the capacity to hear me right now, um, but that I want to let them know is that, um, I'm not going to stop being their friend.

[00:12:11] I'm not going to, I'm not going to run away from telling them my honest feelings and the truth of how I see it, nor am I going to shut up about what happened to me in 2020 and how I was, uh, ostracized, kicked out of my profession. I was fired. I was, um, you know, like told that I was in essential.

[00:12:32] I was, you know, I basically had to go off and start my whole own like studio, my own private studio. And it was super heartbreaking because, um, the way that people were treating each other was just so bad. It was so awful. It was so awful.

[00:12:57] And I really couldn't see the reason for it other than the fact that there was just such a cute fear. And, and here we are again, such a cute fear. And, but the difference is, is that I'm not really afraid and it's not because there isn't like a gigantic mound of crap coming down the pipeline.

[00:13:22] There is, um, I'm, I'm willing to watch what this administration is doing. Um, I have the benefit of not being in a government position or a bureaucracy or any kind of agency to where I have to worry about the security of my job. Now prices might go up on certain things that I use regularly in my profession that might actually happen as well as things that I eat and I partake in.

[00:13:52] But, you know, as far as, as far as I'm concerned, I am, I'm fine with having to really account for my life and, uh, cut back and to, um, go without certain things and really reprioritize. In fact, that's what the last five years have been since 2020 is all of that.

[00:14:17] And I think that's why 2020 was in the end, a very good thing, despite how I felt in those personal times. And so I'm watching this now with the other people, the, the other people who, um, did exactly what they were told and, you know, facilitated all these different programs and all these different things that they believed in,

[00:14:39] that they felt the right to kind of, uh, to force, uh, down the American public's throats. And, and now they're really having to suffer the consequences of that.

[00:14:57] And I, you know, I'm, I pray for, uh, justice for the people who have actually, like, been fraudulent, who've been funneling a bunch of tax dollars and, and just pushing campaigns that the American people did not vote on.

[00:15:24] They did not want, um, with no transparency, no choice, no voting, none of that. Um, I, I, I want justice for people who got us here, but I have so much compassion for the everyday person who has spent their money, life, time, you know, facilitating these jobs and putting themselves wholeheartedly into them.

[00:15:50] Um, and, and, and really believing in the initiatives that they were creating. Uh, one of the big things is DEI right now. Um, good friend of mine, uh, was just, it's a, it's a post that's floating around, floating around Facebook right now. And it's, it's, it's just breaking down everything that DEI is proposed to be.

[00:16:17] And it's ushering up this, this thought that it does not actually decrease quality. And here's the thing. The, the, the thought is, is that it welcomes in, um, observances and accommodations for very special interest people. Uh, and that is the benefit of it.

[00:16:41] So, you know, women who are pregnant and, you know, men who are, you know, new fathers and, you know, um, childcare leave and all of this stuff. Um, yeah, a certain kind of accommodations and work environments for people who are disabled, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:17:00] And so on, um, the issue that I brought up with my friend is, is that unfortunately a lot of these things, when they become policy and when they become something that these big corporations set the standard in and more push with government influence, it cripples and hurts small business.

[00:17:23] Um, because the little guy has virtually no ability to compete because the, the, the special accommodations that are now standard are not things that a person can just alter their entire business in order to substantiate. And, and they go out of business and they get, they get completely pushed out by bigger people.

[00:17:48] Um, they also, you know, as all of these regulations and things go up, everything has a cost politically. And the, the issue with that is, is that while on its face, it's about ensuring quality and safety. I can assure you from the few things that I've done, uh, with government licensing, uh, whether it be through tattooing or, uh, cutting hair is, is that the, these people don't,

[00:18:19] these, these, these paper pushers, these pencil pushers do not actually give a crap. Um, I have, I have gotten temporary licenses. I have traveled with my work. I've gone to conventions. I've gone to other States. I've remained in state and, and held licenses. I have acquired several. They don't, they don't actually ensure quality.

[00:18:46] Uh, if that was the case, how do you get bad tattoos from people who, you know, graduate from a program or a school? How do you get bad haircuts? If, if these people are fully and completely quote unquote educated license, but then they have no ability to actually operate once they get into a work environment.

[00:19:10] And it, it just, you know, and it's really kind of awful because when, when the system is set up that way, you have your long-term players, your long-term people who do know how to operate, but because they care so much and they've had to grit and claw and scrape to find every little scrap of, uh, professional knowledge. They have, they're not really willing to share that information with the new person.

[00:19:40] And who's, you know, green coming on the job, whether it be a nurse, whether it be a hairstylist, whether it be a tattoo artist, they're not, they're not really, you know, too keen on this young, this young person coming in. Um, kind of, kind of, kind of being like a lost puppy and a lot of things. And also, you know, increasing, um, competition for what might otherwise go to, you know, the other person in the realms of nursing.

[00:20:09] It's, it's really about like, you, this is life or death. You like people, if you, if you mess up, you know, you can hurt somebody. And so it, they don't have the kind of compassion to be nice or kind or accepting. They have to, they want people who know their job and they know it well, uh, with, with nursing and things like that. They do things like clinicals.

[00:20:32] So that kind of helps, but, you know, in, in lieu of what my friend Mike said, he was like, well, you know, how does DEI raise costs? I'm like, how, how much does it take to get a piece of paper that says that you are up to a certain standard to which this licensure body or this regulatory body finds you adequate to start working?

[00:20:56] You know, do, do, do the clients, do the patients, do they all know what the standards are? Do they know how well you performed? Is there any kind of transparency with that? Um, and then as far as like, like I said, you know, accommodations, like if you have to provide all of these certain things. And what I told him is, is that, you know, in the time that I grew up in a small business, we, we had all, all the things that he talked about. We, we had disabled people.

[00:21:26] We had, we had a guy, we had a couple of people that were in wheelchairs that we had to move, you know, uh, our, our, our, our haircutting chairs out of the way and cut their hair in their, in their chairs. And we had, we had, we had to accommodate certain things and we had, we had to accommodate certain things and it wasn't, you know, the latest and greatest kind of thing, but it was communal and it was caring. And it was something where we went the distance.

[00:21:50] I mean, my father, uh, to this, you know, to this day will travel to elderly clients' homes and cut their hair in their homes. You know, he'll, he'll do things for them just because of the bonds that were created in that very, very nurturing, very, very small space, but very integral space. We had women that were pregnant. We had people who went ill. We had, we had medical plans.

[00:22:19] My parents had a matching IRA that they did with their stylists. They, they had a whole apprenticeship program. They bred and created new stylists that went off many of them to open up their own salons. All the things that DEI, uh, says, you know, that it, that it shelters or that it cares about is things that we have the capacity to do very much so on our own.

[00:22:49] And that we don't need to be told to do it. But when corporations create these standards and, and they, they work in butt buddy situations with politicians, create lobbyist groups to force certain regulatory standards that basically make it so that it is so unbelievably difficult for your average person to start an initiative or a business.

[00:23:18] Or any of those things. And that's what DEI does. You know, like it gets in the way of our ability to truly figure these things out for ourselves, to truly love each other, to truly set our own boundaries, to truly be unique and stand for the kind of things that we feel are important.

[00:23:38] I mean, look, look at Bud Light's a great example, you know, with these DEI initiatives, like one of the things that was going through is that companies, um, I forget exactly how it went, but, but you basically had like a social credit score.

[00:23:56] If you had an, and, and included and showed publicly that you were adopting DEI initiatives, you know, you were given this, uh, I forget exactly what it was, but you were, you were basically penalized by our government.

[00:24:14] If you were not going to, um, if you were not going to, um, push these agendas and look at, look at Bud Light, that's a perfect example, you know, totally took away from, you know, their products, like what, what their product was, you know, like who, who freaking cares? First of all, in my eyes, you know, who, who drinks, who drinks it? Why do they have to, you know, do all that anyway?

[00:24:40] I mean, Bud Light's kind of an institutional thing, but completely ostracized its market base and forgot about its product, but mostly its client and its regular customer. And all to push these initiatives that its company isn't, it's just never been about like, it's just never been about. And, and it, it, it tanked, like it lost a lot of favor.

[00:25:09] It, it really suffered a huge blow because of what it did. And, um, a lot of companies have had that. And, you know, my, my friend basically admitted that he thinks that the majority of Americans are racist, bigoted, misogynistic, uh, ableist idiots, um, because of their want to get rid of DEI.

[00:25:35] And I, I, I just tried to give him a perspective about the whole thing saying, look, man, no, no, in fact, that's, that's not the case. What, what is the case is the cost has become too high. We are as a country far too overextended.

[00:25:54] I was panicking when it was 2020 and we were just, you know, not operational for what I thought was only going to be two weeks, but it ended up being like years. And, and, and, and the fallout of all of those things. And there has been a lot of fallout that aren't, is not being talked about that, um, is going on. And as far as Trump now, what I will say is, is that I don't like executive orders.

[00:26:24] They're unconstitutional in a lot of ways. It's, it's, it's not ideal, but the way I see it is, is in terms of a lot of this is it's like emergency surgery, man. Like we are, we are overextended to a point where it's gonna collapse at some point. And American citizens at large in many different camps and demographics were getting hurt badly, innocent people.

[00:26:53] And so, and, and our money, our money is being taken for all of this stuff. And so for me, uh, going in there and, you know, cutting, cutting out the fat of these things is really, really good. I don't know what will happen with this much power being, uh, acquired and corralled and stuff.

[00:27:13] My hope is, is that it's a, it's an emergency surgery cleanup to get us, get us back to where we were and where we need to be, which is more of a constitutional republic and where we serve American citizens. Uh, that is what I really, really hope for. Um, because, because I, I, I don't want another, like, I don't want a, a king.

[00:27:41] I don't want, um, you know, an emperor or somebody like that. We're supposed to have a constitutional republic and our constitution is amazing. It's one of the most miraculous and beautiful documents ever to me to ever exist ever since I started studying it. And I took a class on it and everything and learned it. It's brilliant. It's brilliant.

[00:28:03] And, um, I really, I really hope that we can have a restoration of that. Um, so, you know, executive orders are pretty antithetical to that. We'll see what happens, but it's, it's new. This, it's, it's only February 4th, you know, he got inaugurated January 20th. It's not like, it's not like there's been this much time. So I want to see what happens. Like, I want to see what happens.

[00:28:32] Uh, I, and I'm, I'm still here for all my friends. I'm still talking. It's not a lack of love for me to give you a different perspective. It's simply me giving you a different perspective and asking you to see it from a side that you're not used to seeing it from. And very much so trying to let people know that, like, the biggest thing now is that we all care.

[00:28:56] I am glad that everybody has their thing that they care about and their tribe and their people. And I, I do, like I said, I think that's what was great about 2020 is that everybody kind of found their, their people. And their tribe and their, um, the things that they're passionate about. Now we have to actually care.

[00:29:21] And we have to, we do have to actually come together as a people and get clear on a lot of things. Now is definitely the time that we have to hold our leaders accountable. Uh, we have to get educated. Um, and as I said to my friend, Mike, I said, you know, look, if it doesn't dip quality at all, then, then if it, okay, let's put it this way.

[00:29:51] If these people are very highly skilled people who are the most fit for the job, and this isn't a matter of preferential treatment or, um, you know, spending extra money or any of those things, then what will happen when they lose these jobs with the government is, is that these people will go off and find other jobs that very easily because there'll be, it'll, it'll be fine. Right?

[00:30:19] Like it'll be, it'll be something that everybody needs and they'll be able to do what they got to do. Um, you know, that, that's how I see it. And, uh, I personally, I feel like when you have a country that is, um, is strong, you have peace, you have, uh, you have the kind of economy and people and workforce and all of these things.

[00:30:47] That you can actually have charitable action through. I believe the majority of people, uh, are, you know, the, we, we love to work if we are able to do our work and we're able to actually have value in a society and not be barked at constantly.

[00:31:09] And told, I mean, it's essentially the American dream, you know, like if, if you can't construct the American dream, if you can't come here and, um, or be here and dream of what you want to do and actually do it and do it to the best of your ability and compete in a way that is, uh, set up, uh, with weights and measures that actually reward merit.

[00:31:35] But there, there, there is no incentive incentive to be excellent. There isn't no incentive to, to do much. And there also isn't enough extra to give out to people who might be struggling. You know, I've noticed that when I am, when I have abundance, I give abundantly. When I do not have abundance, I do not give abundantly.

[00:32:00] Um, you know, it's just, it's just the way it goes, you know, I, I can't heal the woes of the world. And I can't even, you know, this whole podcast has become a thing where I'm trying to communicate how God works in my life on a regular basis.

[00:32:18] And just kind of lean into a diary entry with the hope that it will be something that people will come to and have a regular, a regular touchstone with and, um, an assimilation to, um, and might even help them open up their own hearts and minds to, uh, seek God. But, you know, I don't, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. I only can do that for myself.

[00:32:48] And, you know, when it comes to generosity, I can only do that when I'm strong, when I'm very, very strong. And it's the same with anything. What's good on a micro level is good on a macro level. And what's, and what's good on a macro level is good on a micro level. Like these things should be translatable, no matter what you're talking about, what, what organization, what relationship, everything is ordered.

[00:33:14] And, uh, I remember what I was going to say, and this will get me into, uh, my, my fun things that I did this week that, that I'm sure you're all, you know, just waiting for me to stop this conversation. But I was telling my friend Allie that a big issue, Allie Oxenblood, she's awesome. She, uh, we're like soul sisters. It's so great. It's, I had no idea, but it's just wonderful.

[00:33:41] But I was telling her that the big struggle for me in being a mentor or any kind of thing, any kind of person, honestly, the biggest struggle was codependency. And I was, I have, and I've had such a hard time with boundaries. My therapist has told me the longest time that, well, when she was alive, that what my struggle was with boundaries.

[00:34:09] And, um, I was very kind, but I didn't know how to set good boundaries and boundaries are sent essential for compassion and love. You, you cannot grow as a person. You cannot give to another person if you do not grow yourself and you do not know how to allocate, uh, your energies and prioritize your energies and appropriately, uh, spend your time and et cetera.

[00:34:38] And what I would do is I would just hold on way too long with too many situations, people, relationships that just didn't serve me. And the reason was, is because I have struggled for such a long time with what the line is between teaching somebody and hazing them or being mean to them. And that has come up a lot this week.

[00:35:07] Is it like, you know, I think a lot of this stuff is seen as just mean and vicious and hateful. And there's all this, like all this venom about, you know, and, and finger wagging and blame and things like that. And, you know, I heard it in my friend, Mike's, you know, admission to, to say that the majority of Americans are that ugly and that wicked.

[00:35:35] That's, that's a horrible view, man. And, uh, you know, I think that you feel that way if you don't understand boundaries and business and direction and order. And that is what meeting God and, and learning about God's order and justice and law has really, really, really given me is boundaries.

[00:36:05] It has allowed me to know exactly when to walk away and how much time and energy to give to anyone situation before it's like, yeah, this isn't working. I did try. Now we're done. Now I got to walk away. Now it's best for both of us. If I just lovingly let go and let God and pray for you.

[00:36:30] And, you know, I'm only, I'm really only called to speak to somebody and try to convey at least my perspective of the thing. What I perceive as the truth, uh, two times. And that's what the Bible calls us to do is if you see somebody walking down a bad path and they're not seeing something that is going to mess them up or mess up a whole bunch of people long term.

[00:36:59] And really make things ugly. You are obliged, at least through Christian charity and, you know, brotherly and sisterly love to warn them and to tell them what you see. It's hard because you risk, you risk them hating you. You risk them unfriending you.

[00:37:19] As I told Mike, I was like, dude, you know, I have had people fire me, unfriend me, scream in my face, call me names, professionally smear me.

[00:37:40] Um, you know, personally smear me, uh, gossip, you know, like all, all manner of things I've had people do about me. And at the same time, act like they're better people and that they are kinder and more caring and all of these things. And that I am somehow this awful human and I've had this happen to me.

[00:38:10] And I just, you know, I, I'm, I'm not going to stop loving people. And that's the point is that like, I, I want everyone to know that I know it's scary right now because we don't know what's ahead. We can't know what's ahead, but we can rest in what we already do know and what, what already has been done.

[00:38:33] And to my friend, Mike, I basically said, you know, these DEI initiatives are very much so put through, um, based in HR and things like that. And HR is a lot like therapy.

[00:38:47] And one of my, you know, therapy for like corporations, you know, like, you know, sensitivity training for corporate entities so that they can create more happy, healthy, and, you know, free flowing work environments where everybody is able to function. Well, that's, that's bigger. That's macro therapy, right? And organization and stuff.

[00:39:11] Well, my therapist, when I first started therapy, it was very, it was made very clear to me that she was like, Amy, you know, there's going to be times where you take big rests from this. So you're not going to need me and I don't want you to spend the money coming here. I'm going to, I'm going to give you tools to exercise in your life so that you can practice these things and basically learn how to, you know,

[00:39:39] communicate more effectively, set better boundaries and go out in the world and be a lot more, um, ordered. And she's like, but, but I, you know, it'll be, it'll be on your own pace. I'm not going to require you to do anything at a certain point. Um, I really hope that you go and you just, you experiment with these tools that I'm going to give you. And, um, you know, when you need me, I'll be here.

[00:40:07] And she said, but, you know, if I'm doing my job correctly, it means that I'll invalidate myself eventually because you'll know how to self-drive. And I think that's honestly where we're at with a lot of these things.

[00:40:23] You know, like some of the stuff that was listed as DEI initiatives, I know full well are already in place, are already in the hearts and minds of the people who, uh, work in these fields, who have had to go through all these sensitivity trainings that, um, you know, and it's also in us.

[00:40:46] These things are instinctual people throughout history have been able to figure out how to come together and work and play and learn and grow and build. And all of these things like America is ginormous and we have so much all over the world. And we, you know, like we are the global hegemon, man.

[00:41:11] Like we, I don't feel like there's anything that we can't figure out and there's no lack of love. And I understand that people are kind of wigging out right now, but, you know, to me, an HR personnel being that is arguing for their job to stay in place. When it's very clear that it has become extraneous.

[00:41:40] They're, they're, they're arguing for their own self-interest. And that's what happens with a lot of these bureaucratic agencies is they're just arguing to keep themselves in play. And, you know, things got to die out. We're not, we don't go to Blockbuster anymore, guys. You know, I started this with, with a cassette tape. We stream music now. We, we, it is a whole different world in not a lot of time.

[00:42:09] I mean, we're talking 80s to now. That's not a lot of time, guys. That's, that's 40 some years. That's, that's my life. That's, that's not a lot. And I've witnessed it all. And things got to move. And if you're not willing to move, I mean, comedians will even say it there, you know, the good ones. They're like, you know, you got to figure it out. You got to figure out what's funny. You got to, you got to, you got to move with the times. You got to grow. You got to expand.

[00:42:38] You got to work with it. Um, because this is, these are our talents. And from what I understand from HR, they have lots of talents. It's not like you're not, you're missing talents. I mean, at the very base, you know how to type really well. And you know how to fill out forms. You know how to write, write systems. It's not like those, those, those skills are non-transferable to something else. You could do consulting on your own. It might be smaller.

[00:43:08] You might not make as much money, but it also might be a call to explore something that you always were, but that you stopped yourself from because you had such a safety net in what you were doing that you just didn't do it. So, you know, and, and by the way, that's what I'm doing right now. Since 2020, I've really cut back on tattooing because I just see the industry moving more and more into regulation. And in spaces that I'm, I'm not really that keen on.

[00:43:37] I don't know what's going to happen, particularly here in Maryland. I, I struggle with other artists. I feel like because we're mercural, we're like herding cats, you know, like to think about dealing with a bunch of artists in a, in a business. It scares me quite frankly. Um, uh, if I'm honest, I don't know if I should be that scared, but I'm honestly like that does intimidate me.

[00:44:03] Uh, it's less intimidating more and more and more as I've learned boundaries and I feel clean about, you know, what I want to pursue and what I want to speak about. And mostly it's God and mostly I want everything to be to the glory of God. And I want, I'm, I'm like on fire for God right now. Just, just a freak for it. Which, you know, leads me to a few things that I experienced this week that I thought were really kind of cool. I'm looking for my phone right now. Sorry.

[00:44:33] Um, I wanted to read this to you. Ooh, it's three 33. I love stuff like that. Um, I wanted to share with you guys a post that my friend George actually, uh, shared with me that I thought was, was really cool. And, um, I want to read it to you guys because I, I think it's something worth, um, worth hearing. Uh, uh, this is the original text from the book where, uh, Desiderata was first published.

[00:45:02] Uh, I, I hope I said that correctly. Go placidly among, amid the noise and the haste and remember that peace, what, sorry, I'm guessing this. Let me try again. Go placidly, placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

[00:45:27] Speak your truth quite quietly and clearly and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant. They too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons. That's kind of me. I'm, I knew that's me. They are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter for always. There will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career.

[00:45:57] However, humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery, but let this not blind you to that, to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not frame affection or feign affection.

[00:46:24] Neither be cynical about love for in the face of all air aridity and disenchantment. It is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years. Gracefully surrender the things of use. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

[00:46:54] Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God. Whatever you conceive him to be and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life. Keep peace in your soul.

[00:47:21] With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. By Max Ehrman. 1927. I just thought that that was such a great thing. So this is one of the things that came across me during the week that I posted on my Facebook page. I also came across Michael Knowles' podcast that I was listening with.

[00:47:50] I think Nala Ray is her name. She's a former OnlyFans star. Star. And she found God and got married and basically ended her time there. And it's a really great podcast. I wasn't much enjoying it towards the end just because she strikes me as very young. And I could identify with the parts of her that came to God and came to certain realizations.

[00:48:18] But I and her practices of things and her spirit within God, it feels very on fire like me. And just super excited about it and wanting so badly to move forward in a way that keeps God in focus always. And in the way that I move and work. But later, you know, there was just certain things that I think were more personal about her and that just kind of.

[00:48:48] There's a lot of things that that she does that I'm I'm just probably not ever going to be interested in. And that's the thing is that she's younger than me. And there's just certain aspects of it that I feel disinterested in. And not that they're wrong. I'm just not interested. She seems lovely, but I'm not interested in certain things. I am interested in her.

[00:49:11] She's doing consulting right now and trying to help people make money off of TikTok and certain certain spaces, certain social media platforms. And I think she's she's trying to invoke God in those ways which I identify with. It's really cool.

[00:49:30] The other thing that happened was I drove to West Virginia and attended a homeschooling conference, the West West Virginia Homeschooling Conference. It was largely sponsored by. I'm sorry. It's called WV Home Educators Association, West Virginia Home Educators Association.

[00:49:58] It's that they break it down into an acronym. Their organization is www.wvhea.org. And they really put on quite a great show. It was awesome. I met I met so many people. I was really just kind of moved to do it. I saw that Allie Oxenblood had posted about it.

[00:50:28] She lives in West Virginia. I know that she homeschools her kids and I have been a very big advocate of homeschooling for a minute now. I do think it's very much their time to analyze our education system as it stands and figure out different things for it because it's just not yielding good results at this point. As far as I can tell, there are people who are doing all right.

[00:50:55] But for the most part, from from the bulk analysis of this, scores keep going down and we keep paying more. And that's not OK as far as I'm concerned. And I feel like there's a way to do this for much less and a much more integral thing and also gives parents more sovereignty over the education of their children and connection to their children.

[00:51:20] I think this is a an amazing thing, because, you know, one of the things I witnessed at the convention was parents going to these things and either vending and having a booth and, you know, sharing this experience with their kids, which is very much something I did when I was a kid. I went with my family to do fundraisers for my dad's sports teams and things like that.

[00:51:50] We would we would also go and, you know, stand on the sidelines and, you know, root for my father and all the other athletes. And so this is something that I grew up doing. You know, like we were we were a small business. So we would we would do fundraisers. We would also do initiatives and we'd work with other, you know, people in the community and sponsor sports teams and things like that.

[00:52:16] My parents would speaking about regulatory systems and things like that. They noticed that the caliber of licensed worker coming out of these. What do you call them? Vocational programs in high school. I don't know if they were licensed.

[00:52:42] I think that they were, you know, like they were coming over from vocational programs in high school weren't good. And from what we understood and gathered was what would happen is a lot of a lot of people would go into their guidance counselors and say that they wanted to cut hair or they wanted to be in the beauty industry. And their guidance counselors would be like, oh, no, your test scores are way too high for that. You should go to college. You really should go to college.

[00:53:10] And what they would do is they would they would put a lot of the kids that, you know, were kind of antisocial issues into vocational school because they just didn't have anywhere else to put them. And, you know, my parents were really, really upset about this, not just for the sake of the child, which is, you know, a factor, you know, because they were just kind of dumping them someplace.

[00:53:37] And they weren't actually preparing them for the reality of the job, which is high interface with people. You know, you don't just get to play with hair all day and do what you want. You have to you have to serve your client. And so my parents, you know, they they did things like that, like they would go to these vocational programs and help uplift the entire program.

[00:54:01] They would, you know, go out to other schools and teach classes on things that were not otherwise known, like men's hair haircuts and things like that. Clipper cuts and free free cutting. And these are things that we did all the time. So when I heard about the homeschooling convention, which is something that I, you know, I I want to know about homeschool. I learned a little bit. You know, I saw that they first of all, there's a lot of support, a lot of different programs.

[00:54:32] One of the cool ones was this. What is it? Civil Air Patrol. They give you like a STEM kit for like thirty five dollars. A year. They'll send you all these different educational like kits that will, you know, grow certain things in your kids. Let's see. There's there's a kid on angles.

[00:54:55] There's a kid on build and learn geometry, cross country navigation, flight simulator, outdoor quadcopter, indoor quadcopter, remote controlled aircraft, bridge building, um, snap tricity. I don't even know what that is. Um, rocketry, robotics, renewable energy mechanics, um, uh, hydro hydraulic engineering, astronomy.

[00:55:23] Like they, they send you these kits, uh, I think once a month, they said, and you only have to pay for it once. And they sponsor all these people. Once you, once you pay for your dues and they said it, you only have to do it one time. Um, they'll keep your kid kind of educated in the Civil Air Patrol kind of space. And it's really, really cool. They offer scholarships later.

[00:55:48] I heard about, you know, different organizations that actually, you know, sponsor graduation because, you know, when you homeschool, you don't get like a bulk graduation. So they'll create a space where like, there's a cap and gown ceremony and people actually get certificates and, you know, like they have the kind of experience that kids that go to high school have. Um, there were so many kids, they were all running around and playing.

[00:56:13] And, um, there was lots of, you know, interaction there and, um, lots of opportunities for reading and just, just the gauntlet of things. There was even a chick there that was, uh, you know, she was bringing her business of being a travel agent to, you know, kind of show, share with people her experience and her love of cruises.

[00:56:39] And she was like, you know, if you're interested in a cruise, like I've found that for me and my family, these are the best things because it's just so easy, you know, like it, it's actually a vacation where I'm not cleaning up everything. And, you know, if you book, if you book a time somewhere else, you know, you have checkout, you have all these things that you have to do. She's like, none of that is with a cruise. It's kind of all inclusive and it's just, you can actually relax. So she was really cool. I'm trying to think what else.

[00:57:07] Apart from all of this, I love Allie. I loved the drive. My drive there was, um, a bit icky cause the weather was icky. And I don't know if you've ever driven to West Virginia or in that area, but it's, it's very winding and very, you know, steep climbs and massive dips in the road. And, and if, and it's like 70 miles per hour, they allow you to go.

[00:57:35] And, and even though my car is, you know, equipped for those kinds of things, it was, I couldn't trust in, in early February that the roads weren't going to be slick. And it was kind of rainy and misty all day for the first day that I traveled. Um, but I love long drives and I was able to listen to a bunch of stuff.

[00:57:55] And, um, Allie and I figured out that we pretty much eat the same, travel the same, you know, uh, have, have a certain kind of temperance of things. Um, her son Bjorn that I got to meet, he was fantastic. What a cool kid. Um, I, I, I find him just super refreshing and their relationship just beautiful. Honestly, everything about it, beautiful.

[00:58:25] Uh, I had a great time. Um, I, I, I don't know what I'm going to do with any of it except for, um, put out, you know, the materials that I, you know, show you guys the, the materials that I, I got in a post and maybe share a few websites and links and stuff that you can go and check out.

[00:58:47] Um, you know, if you're interested in those things, um, that way, you know, if you live in West Virginia, I kind of make up for the fact that you might not have been able to make the convention. I also would like to interview. I know this is a lot about me these days. Um, and I want to do diary entries, but I might actually try to interview one of the head coordinators of the, the whole convention and see how it's all kind of been brought about. It was just a wonderful time. Um, everybody was lovely.

[00:59:17] Everybody was super kind and sweet and caring, um, and concern, genuinely caring and concerned. Um, it's, it's just the kind of energy that I like being around, you know, people who actually apply themselves to the things that they want to see in the world. And if it's not happening, they're going to make it happen. And I just love that. So it was a wonderful time.

[00:59:46] Um, throughout it, uh, it was going to be just three of us. Um, my friend Jetta, my friend Tara, she's been on the podcast and me at Baltimore Tattoo Convention. But actually we're going to have Allie now. So Allie's coming to Baltimore in March. Uh, that's when the Baltimore Tattoo Convention is happening, um, March 7th, 8th, and 9th. So if you'd like to come out and see us and see the, the spectacle that is the Baltimore Tattoo Convention, please come out. It's a, it's a hoot.

[01:00:17] I wish I loved conventions more, but I don't. Um, I will say that the, the homeschool convention was like my kind of speed. It was a small thing, not huge crowds, like very digestible. Like the, the pace was nice.

[01:00:33] And it, you didn't have people like, there was only one person that I can really think of that was actively doing something that required massive amounts of bringing equipment and performance on the spot, which is this one maple, maple syrup creator. That was amazing.

[01:00:54] Um, they had maple syrup, um, cotton candy and they had that cotton candy machine that they were making it like as they were selling it and they were selling their maple syrup. Um, that was really cool. Um, I, I, I follow them on Facebook now. Um, I'll get that for you, but it was just wonderful. And, and for me, that's what a convention should be. Um, I don't think that, um, it should be a lot.

[01:01:24] Of. A lot of people. Tattooing, uh, at a place, but that's what the, that's what the conventions are in tattooing. And I'm, I'm just going to lean in. It's always better when you have a good group of people to do it with. So now I have like an excellent group of people to do it with. I'm really excited about doing it. Um, just kind of geeking out about that a little bit. Uh, after I get off here, I have to make promotional materials for that.

[01:01:53] So we'll be doing that. Um, another thing that happened this past week is that I was able to order my friend, uh, Stephanie Welker's, uh, book. She wrote a book. It's called, uh, Change a Smile, Change a Life. And so I know an author of a book. I mean, I've, I've actually, um, done covers for books, uh, for people and been hired to do those things. But it's so cool to, this is a client of mine.

[01:02:23] She's gotten a few tattoos, uh, for me and I've known her for most of my time as a tattoo artist. And she, um, the whole book is a, is about a guide to running a million dollar dental business and bowing out wealthy. So it's, it's all about how to elevate your, your dental, your dental game.

[01:02:45] Um, but I can't agree more with the sentiment of Change a Smile, Change a Life because, you know, that's one of the first things people see about you is your teeth, is your smile. A lot of people tell you to smile because it makes them uncomfortable when you're not smiling. Um, you can hear a smile over, over the phone.

[01:03:08] You know, if somebody's actually joyous when they're doing their work and, you know, even when you go to order, you know, at Burger King, if, if, if the person over the phone is just kind of, you can tell they're not, they're not giving it their all. And we can argue about whether or not somebody should at Burger King give it their all. But my whole thing is, is that if you give each thing that you do your all, you're never wasting your time and you just don't know, you just don't know what that's going to lead to.

[01:03:38] I can tell you, I ran into a guy in Burger King that was such a great, um, I guess, service provider. You know, I ordered something through, through the, um, the drive-thru. This is, it was late at night one night and it was crazy and I had nothing but Burger King to kind of like get to quickly because I was starving.

[01:04:03] So I order and this lovely gentleman comes through and he is just bubbly and goes through all the different things. Like, do you want this? Do you want this? Can I give you any sauces? Like, would you like this? I mean, beautiful. And then he greeted me with a smile. He was just a joy the whole time. And he wasn't there long. Like I had gone back to that Burger King again and never saw him again.

[01:04:29] And I can, I probably because the kid was, you know, on his way to something else. Like somebody picked him up and was like, Hey, you should really, you should come to work for us over here. You're way too good. It's, um, maple cotton candy is the, um, is the actual company. They're, they're pretty cool.

[01:04:57] Um, let's see here if I can. So they are in, um, shoot, come on. Um, trying to read the, they're in New York. Is that what that says? Um, it's called Thole Hill Farm, I think. Yeah.

[01:05:19] Uh, and they got like a maple leaf and Allie was freaking out because she was, she, she heard that, uh, the maple trees that grow on her property, that she was told by other people were invasive and you couldn't actually tap for maple syrup. Actually, that's not true that the ones that are on her property, she could, she actually would, um, that would be less sugar content, but you could totally tap them. And she was so excited.

[01:05:46] So that was a cool educational thing. There were so many educational moments. I also got like a little baby Jesus. And I, I mean, that's, there was a, um, they're like the more Christian, uh, oriented, uh, space for like Girl Scouts, but it's like a troop like Girl Scouts, but it's very, um, Christian centered and Jesus centered. And they were, let's see, uh, I got it all behind me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[01:06:14] But, um, what were they called? They were called, um, American heritage girls. And it was very cool. And they were giving away these little Jesus dudes. They were just these cute little, they almost look Lego-ish, but they're not Lego. Um, they were just these cute little Jesuses. So I have a little baby Jesus from this that I love. He's so cute. Um, sweet baby Jesus.

[01:06:42] Um, so the next day I didn't go to church. I actually went to, um, Black Lotus had a Black Lotus tattoo gallery, had an open art day. And, oh my God, if I am to skip church, that's the caliber of happenings that I want. I would expect. It was just like the homeschool convention. Like I said, people completely dedicated to being present and truly caring about what they do.

[01:07:11] And meet and greet. I met, um, I met an audio engineer and music maker. I met a glass artist. I met a collage artist. I met, um, I, I re-met some of the people that already worked at Black Lotus. Merv, uh, his, his girlfriend. Uh, I met the, you know, the front end staff that was there, Chase and Jessica, um, who were amazing, um, took care of us all. They had a full spread.

[01:07:40] Like they had ordered this huge catering kind of spread for everybody, which was phenomenal. Um, Merv made his pappy's pot pie, like homemade. He, it's his second passion is cooking. So he shared that with all of us, which was just awesome. It was so good. I, I, I took a picture of the, the plate of food that I got from the catering, but I, I ate the pot pie so quickly because it was hot and amazing that I, it just didn't even,

[01:08:09] it didn't have an opportunity. Most of the day was fully in the moment. And, um, I'm so glad I was able to experience that and stay with everybody. But I did make a point of taking photos. That was the one regret that I had of my time with Allie was that there wasn't enough photos of the homeschool convention for me to show you because I was trying to take it all in so

[01:08:34] much and meet people and interact and go around to the booths and, you know, uh, hang with Allie. And I just, it, it doesn't really occur to me to document most things. Um, I know it's important when you're doing social media and more when I'm trying to, when I'm trying to do this for all of you and show you what I've experienced, at least in a, in a, you know, cliff notes kind of way or in a visual way. Um, but I didn't do that with her.

[01:09:00] And so I tried to do it the next day at Black Lotus and what a phenomenal place. I truly recommend that you guys, um, sign up for their newsletter. Um, sorry if you hear Rico in the background, he likes to be loud downstairs and I did not close my door. So hopefully there's not too much of that in the background, but, um, yeah, uh, I, I went there and worked on my first, it's the, uh, comorant.

[01:09:30] I think that's how you say it. It's a, it's a bird. It's a water bird, uh, that I actually met somebody. Her name was Ash. She didn't have social media place, but she was such a multifaceted artist. She did pet portraits. She did resin. She did all this really cool multimedia art. She's too cool. Um, I told her about the, um, world horse expo that's going on early March as well.

[01:09:57] And I shared with her, you know, like maybe you could go and check out like the space and maybe rent a booth and get a, you know, repertoire of work together for it. Eventually. Um, but yeah, she was really cool, but she recognized the bird. And I actually, I have two paintings, um, going simultaneously. One is a raven and one is the, uh, Coramont or Cormorant. I think that's how you say it. Um, but they're, they're in Leviticus.

[01:10:26] It's birds of the Bible series. They're in Leviticus as the unclean birds that you don't eat. They're not for eating. And it's mostly because they're surrounded by death and decay and that's what they eat. Um, and I would have to imagine that's, that's just, you know, kind of ordered in the way of that they could hurt you. Like if you eat them, you could catch something and it could be bad.

[01:10:48] Um, but yeah, so I'm going through them first and, uh, it's been really fun trying to figure out how I'm doing this. I'm using two different mediums, um, acrylic as a base, and then going over with the bird, actually an oil. So it could have a lot more like substance and, and shine. The colors are less dull.

[01:11:13] And I also, um, made a point of incorporating, um, as the first touch of oils to the canvas, frankincense and myrrh. They're on the side of the canvas or they'll be located on the canvas in some form or fashion and then gold. And I have this gold enamel that I'm using. That's pretty cool. It's like liquid gold leaf. And I think I'm going to start with those.

[01:11:40] Uh, and, and when it comes to the oil applications, do the bird, do the painting, um, maybe touch up a few things I, I did go ahead and put the enamel, um, frame around the bird. And I found that my proportions were off and I had to like paint over in places. So I'm probably going to have to like reestablish my boundary of the enamel goal.

[01:12:04] But I kind of like that because that's what Jesus was given on his birthday. And it, it kind of is cyclical in the Bible and Jesus and all of these things, like these things wrap around, there's lots of, um, um, miracles and prophecies and things like that, that are realized that I kind of like that, um, you know, setting a foundation that needs

[01:12:34] to kind of like be disordered to be ordered again. And then I, I think I want to make my, um, signature once all of a sudden done in gold leaf, you know, put that on gold leaf. And so start with, start with those three things and end with gold because he's the King of Kings. So, uh, that was Black Lotus. Uh, I'll share some of the, some of the people that I met so that you can follow them. Hopefully you do.

[01:13:03] They're, they're brilliant. What I liked about, um, the audio, uh, creator Scott and the, uh, glass artist Dylan, from what I understood is that they really started learning their art in 2020. How cool is that? Like they realized their life, you know, needed a shift and they wanted to invest their themselves into something focused and creative. And, and they, they put themselves fully into it in 2020.

[01:13:31] And I, I just think that's so cool. That's so, so cool. Um, so I was really excited to meet them. I hope to have each of them on the show too, just because that would be amazing. Ooh. And I also met the two, um, graduated apprentices from, uh, Black Lotus, Julian and Mike, who both awesome people. Very sweet. Uh, Julian does like a black and gray, gorgeous style, really dope at lettering.

[01:14:00] And then Mike does this beautiful traditional, at least as far as what I saw that day, uh, gorgeous stuff. Um, there was also, uh, Kristen Marsden there. I think I've met her before. I don't want to say, but we didn't talk much. I just, I met her. Um, Kirsten Marsden, is it Kristen or Kirsten? Kirsten? Kristen? Oh man, it's terrible. Um, I apologize if I got your name wrong. Marsden I know is correct.

[01:14:27] Um, we didn't talk much and usually that helps implement, implement a name. I'm bad at names. So it helps get in my head. Um, but for the people that I talked to, it was wonderful and just such a great day. So I recommend that if you, um, are in the area of Maryland and it's not too far a drive, even if it is, I drew five hours to go to West Virginia to a homeschooling convention and then drove back and then made this event.

[01:14:52] Um, but if, if you're, you know, relatively local, I would sign up for Black Lotus, uh, tattoo galleries, newsletter, so that you can catch events that they do like this. Um, I personally asked that they do more of them because it was amazing. So in conclusion, I wanted to let you guys know that this evening, uh, I am starting my accounting classes. It's going to be my first class.

[01:15:19] I'm taking, um, Excel basics and I'm going to, I don't know. I got a book. Um, I'm going to do it via zoom. So, you know, I'm pretty, pretty knowledgeable about all that. So we're going to see how it goes and it's going to be fun. Um, I have almost talked your ears off for about an hour and a half. So I feel like this is, this is wrapping up quite well. Uh, I don't know if this is going to be fun.

[01:15:48] This is like, you know, really communicated much of God. Sometimes things just happen and you don't really know what's applicable when with the homeschooling thing. I felt, I feel like it was pretty interesting that my parents came to me and, um, kind of asked me if I wanted to take over their salon and teach art out of it. And then I, I just had this convention that I wanted to go to and it involved homeschooling

[01:16:18] and, and things like that and support. So I don't, I don't know where it's leading guys, but it's pretty fun. I'm enjoying myself. Um, don't be afraid. You know, you're, you're way more strong than you think and capable. And you know, you're never alone. I want you to know you're never alone. You might, you might be angry at a lot. You might even be angry at God, but God's still there.

[01:16:45] If you have the capacity to be angry at God, know that you do believe in God then, and God has enough grace for you to let you be angry at him. Um, but I would suggest you seek, you seek him and you try to know him because the more you do, the more you find this amazing peace in your heart and in your life and in the way that you move and you, you learn to trust and fall into the things that are unsure and just let go a lot more. It's so wonderful.

[01:17:14] And I feel so much better about everything, even though things are still as uncertain as they were before. And there's a lot coming that we can't know. Um, I'm a lot more at peace. Uh, so I, I hope, I hope this has been entertaining. I hope that it has been insightful. I hope I gave you some cool things to check out, um, that may or may not interest you.

[01:17:44] I plan on giving some links and resources in the show notes so that you can check things out. But no matter what, I'm praying for all of us. I am not going to shut up. Not, not until God says you're done kid. And, uh, I'm, I'm going to keep loving all of you and trying to be better all the time. And I hope that for everyone, maybe you all rise together and become better.

[01:18:13] That is my hope. So God bless you diary listeners. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day, a, uh, very powerful week. And, uh, yeah, yeah. If, uh, if you get another moment in this world, it is a gift and I hope, I hope you make the most of it. I love you. Bye. Ooh, diary listeners. One more thing.

[01:18:43] Pardon. I just came back from eating and I realized I didn't say something else that happened. Uh, just yesterday I finished the tattoo for Rico. So now he has his white tail deer, uh, on him. And it was, uh, what I wanted to share was that it was really nice doing a painting for him and, um, getting to translate the painting into a tattoo. That was pretty cool.

[01:19:13] Cause I had to figure out the edges and make sure it was, you know, accommodating for the space. He put it on his forearm, but it was also really nice to not be looking at a screen. Uh, for reference, I usually use my iPad. So it was really cool to be able to tattoo from a painting reference that I made previously. And that was kind of fun. I've only done that a few times where I've translated already pre-made paintings of mine

[01:19:42] into a tattoo. And, um, it was really awesome. So I hope there's more of that in the future. That'd be really cool. I've made some paintings. Some of my friends have kind of teased with the idea of, um, getting them translated into a tattoo. I hope they do. I hope they follow through with that. Um, one of them is this, uh, wolf painting that I made. My friend Faith said that she might be interested in getting that. So that would be really awesome if she did.

[01:20:10] Um, but yeah, uh, just know that, um, translating one of my paintings into a tattoo is nice. And I liked, you know, it felt good on my eyes to be registering a light from, without a light behind the actual image was, which is what you get with screens and stuff. So it was kinder on my eyes. I'm getting old. So that was, that was the thing I wanted to report. Rico, uh, is getting more tattoos, wants more.

[01:20:40] Yeah, we have it on record here on the show that he said he didn't like getting tattoos because they hurt too much, which he really doesn't like the pain. But, uh, I think it's, it's crossed the point where he, um, does actually want to get them. And he does enjoy the things I paint and he's been more into it as I've been painting, uh, wildlife scenes. Um, next he wants a turkey.

[01:21:07] And I told him I would be calling him turkey from that point on. Anyway, I thought I'd throw that in there. That's something that I wanted to share with you guys. It was a happening this week. That was pretty cool and unexpected. We just decided to work on him, uh, and finish his piece. So I'll share that with you guys, uh, again, God bless and great week. Love you. Thanks for listening. You can find the apprenticeship diaries on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

[01:21:36] Our IG is the underscore apprenticeship underscore diaries. If you would like to offer constructive criticism or an interview, drop us an email at theapprenticeshipdiaries at gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from our listeners.