I've been rebounding from some travel and some personal stuff. I apologize that I won't be following the amazing Nick Baxter with another origin story. Next week!
For now, I share some personal thoughts and happenings.
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[00:00:00] Happy Tuesday and if you're in the Baltimore, Maryland area, I'm sure there's
[00:00:06] more of this going around the country but I can tell you for certain that here
[00:00:12] in Baltimore it is a snow day. So that's what we're calling this personal diary
[00:00:19] entry of mine today. I'm gonna vent a little bit so it's not that bad. I, it's honestly weird. I'm in one of those weird phases right now, and I wonder if I'm alike others in this way, but I'm very happy that it's a snow day, just because it kind of matches my mood.
[00:01:41] I don't really want to do much.
[00:01:43] I think about as much energy that I have was involved in guest area for you to set up and work. So reach out to Jake Kirk. His Instagram is Jake Does Them Tattoos. That's all one word. And his email for the studio is Rapture Tattoo in Purium.com I think we'd be interested in. So yeah, that's a bit of dreaming ahead. It'll happen. I know it'll happen one day as it's supposed to, but for now it's just in the dream phase.
[00:04:21] We can't do anything right now.
[00:04:22] We're going to stay in our little town home's kind of the the feel of this the services with so that's what we did.
[00:07:02] We healed each other in some amazing ways. he doesn't want to be found. But then you also think to yourself, I don't care what you want. This isn't about you, only you. This is about all of us. This is about all of us. And all of these people who love you and care about you and who didn't get a chance to say
[00:08:24] any kind of goodbye. And a lot of times we I think this is relevant in a multifaceted way because, you know, we have to, we have to expose ourselves to critique all the time and we have to, you know, show for our efforts and we have to get public viewing and then've connected with that knew him or know him because I don't know which one it is. I'm going with no, cut off from people that I, you know, from my friend, you know, and I got really mad and it I'm hurting for. And I just, it gets so exasperating that we can't step outside of ourselves a little bit more. I know that's a flaw that human beings have. I've been praying so hard to God for action towards all of this, but it's been very hard. It's been very hard. And this isn't even...this is my friend. This isn't my family member. This isn't, you know...I'm...you know, I can't even imagine what his family is going through.
[00:15:00] I can't.
[00:15:01] I can't.
[00:15:02] And, you know, I don't know, because nothing's been found of John. But there's a sliver of hope that I have, but it's a sliver. And the rest I'm just giving to God and praying, praying for mercy all around and peace. But, you know, John texted me on New Year's and said Happy New Year and I wrote him back Happy
[00:16:23] New Year. And I said, you know he's one of few people that I would have gone to to discuss this diet with. He told me he was doing it too. He was a very fit human. He was always talking about how much he wanted to stay in shape
[00:17:41] just so that he could be here with everybody especially his children as long
[00:17:47] as possible. But I've never, I've never sought to end it myself. I don't, I don't know if, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what it would take, honestly. I don't know what it would take. I have compassion for it. I, you know, people want some rational reason to this and I can't give it to them because
[00:19:04] I don't think there's anything rational about it.
[00:19:06] I think it's just darkness. through the roof, which with the irritability may or may not be good. I'm just snappy, man. Like I am just frustrated with kind of any little inequity in my life. Like I'm just really irritated
[00:20:23] and I have to admit that I miss the variety of food.
[00:20:26] I really, really, really, really do. of anything that could be inflammatory. And I found miraculous results. In fact, the few times that I have been brazen enough to just introduce a spice or a sauce that contains something other than the Celtic sea salt,
[00:21:43] I have noticed a dramatic effect by my body at this point. genuinely miss It's so weird. It's I miss the actions. I miss the habits. I miss the flavors But I don't miss the results at all and that's what probed me to do all of this was trying to You know
[00:23:01] Get after results, you know, I don't want to just go through the motions of my life and be in
[00:24:02] So I can't say that. But as far as like, been in person with me
[00:24:05] and seen me in little clothing,
[00:24:10] John has because he's done acupuncture on me
[00:24:12] and we have had that relationship.
[00:24:14] So it's just so sad.
[00:24:19] I mean, I don't have,
[00:24:23] I didn't have the connection with John
[00:24:25] in the same way that I had with my therapist, come together and heal each other. And that really saddens me. It really saddens me. And I don't know what you do when there's no proof of anything. It just becomes this open case and then how long? How long does anybody wait before, you know,
[00:25:46] they kind of say, And, you know, one of Rico's love languages is feeding people.
[00:27:00] It's just he's an Italian.
[00:27:03] It's so ingrained in their culture.
[00:27:06] It drives me nuts, people. He said he was buying seafood and I was looking forward to it so much and then I get home and find out that he's just covered it in this spice marinade that I'm like, dude, I told you I do not want anything but Celtic sea salt for this month, I don't want it.
[00:28:20] I'm trying to not have any of that shit.
[00:28:23] Like please, like all of this stuff has eating some of it even with the damn spice on it and like I said it was the citrus, it was called baja citrus and it smells really good
[00:29:42] but man guys when I ate it like right after, you know, of course the meat and the sources that you use to source the meat, what the water you drink. Now, John had put me on a really good filter. It's called Clearly Filters. And to get one of the pictures, it's like 300 bucks.
[00:31:03] But they're really good.
[00:31:05] Their filters last for like three months. and all this stuff. So a lot of hydrogen is lost from your water as it sits on shelves waiting to be bought or sits in your bottles and you know clean water being better because you're not getting all the chemicals and all of the The stuff that's that they put in your water when you know you filter it. That's great
[00:32:21] but I
[00:32:23] Just bought this again
[00:33:24] loss, I mean it vacillates because it depends on when I weigh myself. But roughly around 10 pounds since I started this, so 10 pounds in like a, you know, two
[00:33:30] week period is pretty good.
[00:33:34] And I haven't done anything else.
[00:33:36] I've just been sitting in a car, traveling to PA.
[00:33:40] I think the most exertion that I have expelled this entire time has been cleaning off our
[00:33:45] cars.
[00:33:46] So that was today. be knocked out without having to substitute or I guess, drug myself is really what it was, drug myself to sleep. And for a minute there I was, I was taking Advil PM like pretty regularly. And I was like, well this can't be good for your liver, but it was just so blissful that sleep
[00:35:02] that I needed it so much because my knee was so of style. The only time I did it was yesterday I was traveling have a gear control in that car to where you're able to glide up the snow
[00:37:40] if you get stuck.
[00:37:41] But a lot of these hills that you're trying to approach,
[00:37:43] you need some momentum getting into this to get balloons, but I think I need to get balloons and just have balloons for just this kind of incidence. So I can make, that there wasn't a lot of energy, but I hope that it has given some perspective. That's all I can pray for, is perspective. I would like to ask that if you could send me some prayers,