Ep 199. "Golden Prosperity" (A personal Diary Entry

[00:00:00] Welcome to the apprenticeship diaries where raw meats refine.

[00:00:10] Let's be real, we're still working on them.

[00:00:12] What it took, what it takes, and the stories that are made.

[00:00:16] Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin. I am and have been doing a carnivore diet, but I have to admit to you guys and confess that by the end of my time on that diet, latter part of January, I did break fast a couple of times.

[00:01:40] I had alcohol, some vodka, and then I went of risk reward. The times that I went rogue, but it's very odd how much my my cycle is tethered to the full moon. I actually got it a bit early this people who might be worried about me. I've not yet used it to regulate my blood, but you know, the whole effort here was to be more in touch and aware of my body and to examine these things and figure out what

[00:05:44] works and what definitely went up. So that is unfortunate, but it is raw to refine. I'm going to hack it, folks. And the point is just to keep pushing and putting myself in different levels of discomfort, all toed it all up and made it just the concrete floor because that works better for his portion of this space, which is his weight room. And hopefully it will be our weight room.

[00:09:40] It is ours, but I don't utilize it like I should. and see it because it wasn't being utilized well in my estimation and it really wasn't fair to all the things that I was actually storing here too because I have art and art supplies down here and it was just, it was like coded and layers of dust and cobwebs and

[00:11:05] and there's like a whole window down here to the outside oils ever since we started just watching Bob Ross at night. We might go back to that because I'm recently, he's been watching Frasier, which I like Frasier. I don't know if anyone watched it really. It's a good series. It did not age the best and Frasier is not,

[00:12:23] not a good person.

[00:12:24] I in my, my estimate is deeply funny. set and start oil painting again. I miss it. I'm looking currently at a figure painting that I did. And, you know, I want to re-establish those roots. The other thing that I want to recommit to that I had already started here on this podcast space was calligraphy and copying the Bible

[00:14:51] study but just training and you know keeping keeping alive something that is sacred. The Bible has been passed delinquent for me and chaotic. As if that time of year doesn't induce that enough, it looked like a holiday creation bomb and just everything was upstairs, everything was nuts and drinking my tea. Everything was very

[00:17:28] deeply transpired as a, I mean, things have transpired, but they've just kind of been all over the place.

[00:17:29] So I was hoping to hone some things and reestablish some things and get back to some stability

[00:17:38] and focus.

[00:17:40] Fucking. to my life, I've felt the need to have a space like this. And on top of what I was told by Gabe Ripley about his feelings towards the bed in the back of my former space, he was like, you know, I agree with him. It just felt wrong for what I was using it for. It was what it was. It was what I had at the time and I wasn't ready to task that particular challenge yet. But I do agree with Gabe they were making these things for, but they definitely can go beyond just the hair world. But I didn't want to shoot all of them. Some of these are up there just because I hope to paint them and make them look interesting and play with their hair, which they have enough of that I can do that with and it'd

[00:21:42] be fun.

[00:21:44] So I kept them. fully professional or anything that you'd like move into video with at this point. I am pretty unabashed about things. I mean, clearly, I was willing to have a bed in the background for a while, even per Gabe's reservations about it. I know that whenever I missed last night, but that was not intentional. I do believe I, I think, to qualify my crowd of people that I hang around with.

[00:25:44] A very disheartening thing on top of John, which is still deeply upsetting She's always been a person, very interesting in my life. We grew up together, she's older than me, but mentally not. She's always been in special ed classes and for a long time, we were friends

[00:27:02] because, you know, childhood doesn't really,

[00:28:09] and was at first a foster child and then adopted by her parents and her parents walked her to our house because they saw us playing and I think that was kind of

[00:28:16] like the introduction just be like hey you know here's a person that you know

[00:28:22] you can play with and it just took off from there and you know of course very predicated upon me defending her a lot of the time and sticking up for her and basically pushing back at entities that would seek to hurt her. And I don't know why she felt like that was me not loving her, but it was probably the addiction or just her skewed view of things. This fear of abandonment that made it more than what it was.

[00:31:03] Who knows, I'm not in her brain,

[00:32:22] but I had to remove myself. when I know all of that separated till now has not really shown me that it's an environment that a kid would be well taken care of in. Which leads me to the current day. She has pretty much, I think, become homeless all over again.

[00:32:24] She's had different levels of homelessness, how I didn't understand. And I do understand, no, no, I am not going to be abused anymore by you and what you think that you're entitled per your relationship with me. And this particular person has always taken more than she's ever given. And I that has Down syndrome and she is so lovely and so sweet and really deals with the hardships of her life

[00:37:27] and have this golden prosperity in my life. And I know I have to make some firm boundaries if that's the case.

[00:37:35] So to reiterate, the reason why my friend is suffering is because our government,

[00:37:42] our administration doesn't think that boundaries are necessary, But I am currently on Adobe's audition. I was using Audacity, which is a free program and it's a lot less toggled with buttons and features which kind of makes it overwhelming to use something like audition, but at the same time kind of exciting.

[00:39:02] A mission of mine has been upon buying a new computer I think it was like $400 for pre-sonus and Studio One, and I have not used it. That was a recommendation to my cousin, Eric. Eric, I am convicting you of that because you had me buy it and then kind of like acted like you were gonna show it to me

[00:40:22] and then we both got into it and realized we didn't know very much about it.

[00:41:31] I'm producing on the day of release because it allows me to meet you guys in a lot more, I think, true way.

[00:41:35] I can respond to the day as it stands.

[00:41:39] If I'm dealing with, or say, a pre to help me push this through. I would like to do a series on revelations of faith. And I would say the same if you were to go up against a exploring them in a visual way. It gives me a lot of peace, a lot of joy, and I do think that's my studio and learn how to tattoo and be a tattoo apprentice for... it was three years for me because I had to transition from being a full professional in one field to starting and learning a whole other field and in alignment more with who I am and what I need. And, you know, all the pieces are really falling into place in different areas of my life, but I'll admit the focus has been less which means that if I'm giving a structure, I can stay within it perfectly. But if it's left up to me, I get derailed very acute focus abilities and thrives off of meat and is a predator. And a winged predator too,

[00:51:00] which I have so much reverence for.

[00:51:03] I can't say that I completely

[00:52:07] little varmints that would otherwise chew up all of your food will eat. They don't like the smell of it. And it's, I think, a toxic plant for them. If nothing else, they just, they just, to test the smell.

[00:52:14] So they say to plant marigolds. And I've actually tattooed a lot of marigolds recently.

[00:52:19] They're beautiful. They're golden. They're got this whole evasive maneuver kind of thing about them. It's kind of dumb. And I have to imagine it was, you know, it works for them most of the time because they're pretty quick and

[00:53:41] things like that. But it's very frustrating in a car. It's a very intense cartoon. And then there's the Hawk view, which kind of is above it all and able to assess everything

[00:55:00] and make very targeted motions.

[00:55:05] And these are the mascots of independence and freedom. And, and we all have accomplish that and then hopefully come back here and produce this podcast and all that good stuff. And hopefully learn a lot more about audition.

[00:57:47] But yeah, I wanted to touch base with you guys before next week where I do a guest spot. I want to experience her studio and it's in Oklahoma City. It's intense and very cultured. Dealing with Oklahoma's board has been interesting. I will tell you all, um, finding all the paperwork.

[00:59:01] That's a whole other podcast.

[00:59:02] I think, um, these people are ridiculous how things work. And I don't think they intentionally do it all the time. I think you can be an unintentional asshole. I have been a lot in my life. I mean, a lot. But they're just, they're just, they think in this very one way.

[01:00:22] And they think that other people think that way too.

[01:00:24] And so they just railroad constantly bucket I don't know how many gallons they are for? I don't know. It might be a lot. I think is a lot more than what I'm saying. Anyway, you know, the ones that say don't leave your kids around this thing while full, you know and who had to get checked a lot. But I will say I was checked a lot by experience and it was by the grace of literal God that I succeeded, not by any provisos or warning signs. And probably my nature, which is truly not to be an asshole.

[01:03:01] I really try not to be an asshole.

[01:03:03] I can't say that I haven't been what I have

[01:03:05] but I don't try to be one.

[01:03:07] It's very unintentional. I really hope that you guys are able to make it through the bad audio, but we're going to be with her next week. And I'm excited to introduce her to you. There's been a lot of people on the space in their younger years that I would like to loop background with and touch base with as they've progressed.

[01:04:24] I mean, a lot of them are tattoo artists now. week. I'll really wish you guys all it happens to be my favorite holiday by the way guys is valentine's day. I just love it because I don't see it as the hallmark that everybody else does. I see it as you know analyzing your choices. You know we're given so much in this world that we have to kind

[01:05:42] of celebrate around that it kind of feels like well. My dad was just telling me about how broccoli and certain vegetables need to be rooted in the in the winter time they need to be put in. So there's just a lot going on that is very cool. Very new.

[01:07:02] Without further ado, I'm gonna I'm gonna cut this and wrap this and tell you all that I am

[01:08:08] with it. I hope that I've confessed as much here as to, you know, if I've made a goal, I want you to tell me that I'm straying when I am, and I all appreciate it. I will. Especially

[01:08:15] from some of you that have been here from the very, very beginning. God bless you. God bless