Ep. 240 "So Metal" (Diary Entry 2:2 with Allie Oxenblood)

[00:00:00] Hello and Happy Tuesday Diary listeners. I let Allie talk more this time about her apprenticeship,

[00:00:10] so it was pretty cool. And I'm not going to talk very much right now, so I'll start this

[00:00:18] second part of Allie Oxenblood's diary entry by naming it, and we're calling this one Sew Metal,

[00:00:28] and you'll see why. Enjoy listeners. Welcome to The Apprenticeship Diaries, where raw meets refined.

[00:00:38] Let's be real, we're still working on refined. What it took, what it takes, and the stories that are made.

[00:00:45] Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin.

[00:00:59] I know, and I'm amassing such a cool collection of honestly women for the most part, but

[00:01:07] people that are tattoo artists that, you know, are either wanting that, you know, more experience,

[00:01:13] and they haven't done a lot of conventions, and they've been tattooing a while, or are new to

[00:01:18] tattooing, and then just their ass is on fire for it, you know, they're so hungry, but it's fun,

[00:01:24] you know, to kind of usher them into this whole thing that it's like, okay, let's, let's baby step

[00:01:31] this. Yeah, it's great. It's fun. Good. Um, I know that's the only way I'm a mom.

[00:01:37] It's pretty important though, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's in me,

[00:01:42] no matter if I have children or not, I'm going to mother something.

[00:01:47] Yeah. Um, so how did your apprenticeship go? Like, how did that work? Because going all the way back to

[00:01:56] this guy in a band, he was, you knew you through the metal scene. Um, how did that look? What,

[00:02:03] what was the apprenticeship? Like he took your autoclave. What happened? So, well, you can remember.

[00:02:12] Yeah, I can, I can remember little bits of this. And, and you know, the, the shop was,

[00:02:18] so the shop was called the inside tattoo because he learned to tattoo on the inside.

[00:02:22] And the very first tattoo I did on was on him, on my boss. And it was the word pain in death metal

[00:02:30] letters. And it was hideous. It was, I was so scared. I rushed through it. I shaded it all with a

[00:02:40] tight, small round, um, black outline, red shading, and all the red fell out and turned light pink.

[00:02:47] Um, which was really tough looking. Yeah. But luckily he was like, you know, it's pretty bad,

[00:02:55] but it's, it's still is better than most of my jail tattoos. So there's that. And I was like, great,

[00:03:01] you know, I'm off to a great start. Um, but there was, there was a lot of, a lot of sketch down there.

[00:03:09] It was, um, you know, weirdly enough, some of the things I remember most about that shop

[00:03:18] were strange, inexplicable occurrences that would happen in the wee hours of the night when I was there

[00:03:24] alone. I was there alone a lot. My boss would, um, or my mentor, whatever you want to call him at the

[00:03:30] time, um, would come in, um, maybe start his day at midnight and expect me to be there till he finished

[00:03:39] tattooing. And so, and I was massaging at the time. So I'd catch a bus from the chiropractic office to

[00:03:47] the tattoo shop. And I'd spend many hours there alone until he would show up and do a tattoo and

[00:03:53] watching tattoo. And, um, there was, uh, I was an atheist at the time. Didn't believe in strange

[00:04:02] occurrences, but there was a lot of spooky stuff that happened in that shop that I could not explain.

[00:04:09] And, um, I, I was working in there one day in the basement in the scary unfinished basement,

[00:04:18] um, cleaning tubes. And I heard, uh, a really loud shatter, like the front display window had busted.

[00:04:27] That was like, I knew that's what it was. I, I couldn't explain it. You know, there was like no

[00:04:33] other sound, but it could be other than that was a distinct sound. And I ran upstairs and no one was

[00:04:39] in the shop. The window was intact. I walked outside onto the street. Nobody was on the street.

[00:04:46] No glass was broken that I was aware of anywhere. And, um, I went back downstairs and went back to

[00:04:55] cleaning tubes. And I just felt like there's almost like a voice. It was like, get your stuff and get

[00:05:03] out of here. And the, my mentor kept my, my machines and my stuff locked up in his room. I wasn't allowed

[00:05:12] to have access to that, but somehow I got, I got into his room. The cabinet was unlocked. I grabbed

[00:05:19] my stuff on my way out. I saw a bunch of other stuff locked up in that cabinet that I was definitely

[00:05:25] not supposed to see. And, um, a few days later, the shop was raided by the police.

[00:05:32] Whoa.

[00:05:33] I got my stuff, got out of there and didn't come back and then found out that the shop was raided.

[00:05:40] Wow. Yeah. Allie, that's dope. Well, several things came to mind.

[00:05:46] I'm going to, I'm going to squirrel it a bit. Um, so before we went online and started talking,

[00:05:54] I was thinking Oxenblood, it's such a metal name. Like, and it's so crazy that you're in a metal band.

[00:06:02] And I was like, I wanted to ask you if that, like, is that your name? Like Oxenblood, a family name?

[00:06:08] It's not my family name. It actually was my wrestling character name.

[00:06:14] Oh, dude, dude, you've lived. I love it. As you were talking about like your first tattoo.

[00:06:24] And I was like, this is so metal. Like all of it's metal as hell. Like that's awesome.

[00:06:33] So that's like your luchador name.

[00:06:35] I was raised Catholic too. And I feel like Catholicism is the most metal of all religions.

[00:06:42] You know, it's like come to this church. Here are the bones of our ancestors. You know,

[00:06:46] here's a jaw. Here's a fingernail. It's all like, no, I always joke with my family. I'm like,

[00:06:52] you wonder why I turned out like this. Like my mother used to tell me before I went to sleep

[00:06:57] at night, say your prayers because demons are fighting over your eternal soul while you sleep.

[00:07:02] That was like, like, yeah, of course.

[00:07:12] Reminds me of Jen Kirkman. She was like, I had this Jersey mother and she used to do the prayers.

[00:07:17] And she's like, now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take.

[00:07:21] If I die before I wake. Sitting there as far being like, what?

[00:07:28] What? Who the fuck is this God guy? My soul? What's a soul? And Dex, what's that?

[00:07:35] Like just rapid download.

[00:07:38] Yep. Exactly.

[00:07:46] Yep. I was primed for it.

[00:07:50] Praise God for laughter, man.

[00:07:54] It's either cry or laugh.

[00:07:56] And I, I like to find the funny.

[00:08:01] We both have so much that we could have a soul standup special.

[00:08:06] Oh man. That's awesome.

[00:08:10] Wonderful.

[00:08:12] No, I had to ask you that.

[00:08:13] Wow.

[00:08:14] That,

[00:08:16] that like at first I was like, it's a demon.

[00:08:18] And then I was like, no, it sounds like it was God.

[00:08:20] I don't know what it was, but like the talk to you, but like, that's really amazing.

[00:08:26] I don't know what it was either, but I remember like the guys in the shop were pretty satanic.

[00:08:33] And it was a joke to them, but I just remember thinking like, like, and I was into some dark occultist music at the time, but I'd like show him a drawing.

[00:08:45] I made look, here's the rose I did.

[00:08:47] And he'd be like, that's evil.

[00:08:49] And I'd be like, is that good?

[00:08:53] It's he, it's a, it's rose.

[00:08:55] You know, I thought it was pretty.

[00:08:57] My favorite podcasters that do true crime, they always say hail Satan at the end, hail yourself, hail Gein.

[00:09:08] And I'm like, it's on that level.

[00:09:11] I'm just like, you guys, you guys, I get it.

[00:09:15] But you're doing things that you don't know you're doing.

[00:09:18] You know, you're making fun of some really real shit.

[00:09:21] You know, the, the devil's powerful too.

[00:09:25] And like, as much as I didn't believe in any of that stuff at the time, I thought it was silly, you know, immature hocus pocus stuff.

[00:09:34] It there, nonetheless, there were things that happened in that shop that still just like,

[00:09:45] and, and I kind of just put it out of my mind.

[00:09:48] But the, the fact that, um, that one particular night had such a strange occurrence.

[00:09:57] And then I somehow had the wherewithal to get out of there is, is such a blessing.

[00:10:05] And you didn't get your autoclave.

[00:10:09] No, I don't think I got my autoclave.

[00:10:14] That was, that was your pound of blood or whatever that you had to give.

[00:10:19] I guess so.

[00:10:20] Yeah.

[00:10:22] That's funny.

[00:10:23] I just like how that's predicated on the sacrifice of the autoclave.

[00:10:28] Like that was the box.

[00:10:32] Yeah.

[00:10:33] Yeah, exactly.

[00:10:33] Oh man.

[00:10:34] So you already answered it without answering it, but, um, so you had a very traditional apprenticeship with like scrubbing tubes and, um, uh, I'm assuming learning coils and stuff like that.

[00:10:49] Yes.

[00:10:51] In that regard, however traditional this wacky place could be.

[00:10:54] I, yeah, yeah.

[00:10:59] I think, um, for the most part, I learned how to, um, dodge cocktails.

[00:11:06] Um, you know, and I learned how to not get shot or stabbed.

[00:11:11] Um, that's like pretty much my main takeaway from both of my apprenticeships, not just that one, but the one I had after that.

[00:11:19] Wow.

[00:11:21] But part of that is my fault.

[00:11:23] I'm not a very mechanically minded person.

[00:11:27] And so both of my mentors had me doing things like, like I did learn how to solder needles, mix pigments.

[00:11:34] Um, and every day, my, my second apprenticeship, my boss had, um, would take apart my coil machine laid out on the desk and my day couldn't start until I reassembled it.

[00:11:47] And every day for a very long time, I just was like, I have no fucking clue.

[00:11:54] I can't like, I have no spatial reasoning.

[00:11:57] I can't remember how to reassembled it in my head.

[00:11:59] I had to draw out a diagram and write the step in order to do it.

[00:12:03] Um, as, as far as that all goes, pretty much, um, as soon as he stopped asking me to do that, I forgot how to put a coil machine together.

[00:12:19] I can, you know, change a spring and, you know, adjust a set screw.

[00:12:23] And like, that's about it.

[00:12:26] That's, that's what, thank God for rotary machines.

[00:12:29] That's all I've got to say.

[00:12:30] You're a lot like me.

[00:12:32] Um, I will say, uh, cause it, it just reminds me I'm a really good test taker and it's only because I can cram information the night before really quickly.

[00:12:41] But as soon as I don't need that information anymore, I don't, I don't retain it.

[00:12:48] Like I only retain stuff that serves me in the moment, which, um, I don't know how normal or not that is, but it makes me a wonderful, wonderfully optimistic person.

[00:13:02] Ooh, because I'm just like constantly like either in the present or looking ahead.

[00:13:09] And, you know, I don't, I just like, don't hold on stuff that doesn't serve me.

[00:13:15] And when I say that to people, they're just like, no, you don't understand.

[00:13:17] I'm like, probably not, but you're a smart person.

[00:13:24] So like, how is this helping you?

[00:13:26] Because from what I see, it just isn't helping you, whatever the shit that you're like holding on to right now.

[00:13:32] Like, why does that matter?

[00:13:34] Um, but I'm the same way.

[00:13:35] I'm not technical.

[00:13:36] I don't have a good recall for like, you know, like names and specific things.

[00:13:42] Like I know how to, I know how to get myself out of a situation very purely in the moment and do what I need to do in order to survive.

[00:13:52] But beyond that, like moving on.

[00:13:56] Yeah.

[00:13:56] I relate to that for sure.

[00:13:58] And technical you, I mean, every, that's how I would have done it too.

[00:14:01] I'm sure like that's really, but that's, that's wild, man, that you had to put a tattoo machine together almost every day.

[00:14:09] Wow.

[00:14:10] Wow.

[00:14:10] Yeah.

[00:14:11] So I can't really say that I'm better off for having done that, but maybe, maybe in ways that I don't yet understand, you know, but definitely like the discipline of it was, I think.

[00:14:25] But I think it's good to not, uh, to know how to not get stabbed and not get shot too.

[00:14:32] I told a friend just the other day, I was like, if you're in a creepy situation, you need to get loud very quickly.

[00:14:38] I said, this is my best advice for like creepy men.

[00:14:42] So pay attention.

[00:14:44] Yeah.

[00:14:45] You put them through an unexpected interview and you get really loud.

[00:14:52] What's your name?

[00:14:53] Bob?

[00:14:54] Hi, Bob.

[00:14:54] What do you do?

[00:14:55] And you get crazy.

[00:14:57] Like your eyes get a little bit wider.

[00:14:59] You show them a little bit of the whites and you get loud.

[00:15:02] And before, and, and, you know, hopefully you're in an area where there's somebody around, but like you just get that loud.

[00:15:11] And then they, they start, like, you can see them almost backing off because they're kind of like, oh, this one might be a little, this one might be broken.

[00:15:21] This one I might not want to take home.

[00:15:24] I might have to ask her to leave.

[00:15:27] Like, like, like, unless they really are that nefarious, they're, they're not really gonna roll with that.

[00:15:36] Like they kind of back off, but at the very least you have witnesses, you have people.

[00:15:41] Oh, it's Bob.

[00:15:42] Bob works here.

[00:15:43] Like, like, I saw this creepy exchange that got, you know, I'm getting details about and you have witnesses to whatever's happening.

[00:15:52] So it's a way to sure up things.

[00:15:54] And a smart, a smart person who's looking to abuse you, um, will take note of that too.

[00:16:01] Be like, Ooh, this one's making eye contact.

[00:16:07] I might want to get out of this.

[00:16:10] Don't miss her.

[00:16:11] She goes missing.

[00:16:13] It, I remember it was like, it felt like such a victory when I finally got hired at a shop where I didn't have to keep a switchblade.

[00:16:22] Out and open at my desk.

[00:16:24] Or, um, a baseball bat in my station, because that was just a normal thing.

[00:16:29] Yeah.

[00:16:30] It was like a, you know, and fortunately or unfortunately in my early twenties, I got a kick out of that.

[00:16:39] You know, I was fine to be the baseball bat.

[00:16:42] Uh, girl.

[00:16:43] Yeah.

[00:16:47] But at this point in my life, I'm really thrilled to not have to, you know, carry a baseball bat around.

[00:16:53] Oh yeah.

[00:16:54] Hell yeah.

[00:16:55] No, I, I feel you.

[00:16:57] I feel you.

[00:16:58] Um, you know, lots of perspectives.

[00:17:01] Like I'm thinking about just randomly this morning.

[00:17:03] I have such random thoughts, but this morning I was like, wow, you know, like.

[00:17:08] Be nice to like tattoo my stats on me at some point or like my name or something, because like, you know, keep your ID on you.

[00:17:15] Like you're supposed to anyway, but like, I'm thinking about all the people down in like the Southern states right now that are missing and things like that.

[00:17:22] Like, that's like the one thing I don't think people really think about having on them all the time.

[00:17:27] Like an identification marker.

[00:17:29] Like at least with us, we have tattoos to be like, oh no, that's Amy.

[00:17:32] That's Amy.

[00:17:33] I don't know much about what's going on with the rest of that, but that tattoo, that's Amy.

[00:17:40] Because, you know, like being able to be found.

[00:17:43] And that's another thing about being tattooed too, is if you, like you give yourself a way to be seen, uh, vulnerably, uh, that kind of almost, it's kind of like cussing openly.

[00:17:56] Like you're, you're kind of trustworthy in that way, you know, because you're giving people enough dirt to convict you if they want.

[00:18:07] You know, it's kind of like that.

[00:18:09] I feel, um, you're not so guarded about everything.

[00:18:12] You kind of wonder about somebody who's too polished or like, uh, American psycho.

[00:18:20] So I, when, when I did massage, there were a lot of times that I would, I worked in like some pretty bare bones chiropractic offices and then some really upper echelon spas.

[00:18:35] And it was interesting to be apprenticing at the same time that I was working with this very, very refined spa where celebrities and very wealthy people would come in.

[00:18:45] And, um, not always, but oftentimes some of the most creepy people that I met were, were like that totally polished on the outside.

[00:18:57] And I thought, man, if you just got a few tattoos and like, maybe got like a skateboard or a motorcycle and let some of the shit out, you'd be so much less weird.

[00:19:06] Yes.

[00:19:07] You've repressed too much.

[00:19:09] No, too much.

[00:19:10] You got to let it out.

[00:19:11] If they were even looking for healing to begin with.

[00:19:14] And that's the other scary thing is that like, they were, they could have just as well been fortifying a, you know, a cloaking tool to, to hunt very specific things and get what they want.

[00:19:29] I mean, typically that's what we do.

[00:19:32] So they were, they were probably just being like, there's nothing behind this curtain, you know, don't pay attention.

[00:19:39] Everything's fine here.

[00:19:40] Look at me, look at my watch.

[00:19:42] Would somebody who has problems have this watch?

[00:19:47] Clearly I have enough money for therapy.

[00:19:49] So don't worry.

[00:19:50] Right.

[00:19:51] Yeah.

[00:19:52] Look at my watch.

[00:19:53] Look at my watch.

[00:19:55] Look at this watch.

[00:19:56] No, that's, that's why I'm so happy.

[00:19:58] I grew up with, I grew up with poorer people and more wealthy people.

[00:20:03] And so I, I have the perspective of both of those sides.

[00:20:07] And what I've noticed about the poorer people is that they can't afford to not come together and truly love each other.

[00:20:15] The people who can afford to segregate and just get weirder and weirder and weirder.

[00:20:22] It's like, you can afford to do that.

[00:20:24] And then you can call yourself eccentric instead of crazy because that's the word you use.

[00:20:30] And what other people will call you because you couldn't be crazy because you're wealthy.

[00:20:37] And it's like, well, clearly they would, they have access to all this help.

[00:20:42] And I'm like, that doesn't mean they're going to get it.

[00:20:47] And you're going to think they have everything and, and they're usually the most screwed up people you'll ever meet.

[00:20:55] Yeah.

[00:20:56] And all the, all the abuse that you talk about, like it happens the same, you know, like.

[00:21:03] People are people are people.

[00:21:05] Um, I don't, the more I live, the more I realize we're very similar.

[00:21:09] Uh, not to take away anyone's individual story, but.

[00:21:16] But, you know, there's a reason why, uh, you know, you, it's like, I mean, if you believe in astrology, even on some level, like, oh, I'm a Virgo.

[00:21:26] It's like, okay, well, what you're saying is that under certain star patterns that you were born under,

[00:21:32] that you had all these people observe over a millennia to say that people born under this star pattern have these qualities.

[00:21:40] I mean, I should be able to say that if you grew up without a dad, you're probably going to have these kinds of signs, you know, like it's a thing.

[00:21:52] It is a thing.

[00:21:53] And sometimes it's helpful.

[00:21:54] Sometimes it's helpful to throw it out the window.

[00:21:56] And sometimes it's very helpful to, you know, be able to categorize things and give them names.

[00:22:04] It's helpful if you're a service provider, you know, like.

[00:22:09] And making choice, you know, because it helps you say, well, I'm not equipped for that.

[00:22:15] Yeah.

[00:22:16] You might need this.

[00:22:19] Yeah, for sure.

[00:22:21] Yeah.

[00:22:21] That's one of my most favorite things to do now is to fire a client.

[00:22:28] It's so terrible to say what it's so necessary.

[00:22:31] I'm so happy for you.

[00:22:33] I'm so happy for you.

[00:22:35] Good luck finding your person.

[00:22:37] Yeah.

[00:22:39] That's great.

[00:22:43] What was your second?

[00:22:45] So after you, it's getting back on track.

[00:22:49] What was the, what was the next place?

[00:22:52] Like, so after the shot was rated and you like had this whole, like, whoa, kind of thing.

[00:22:58] How did it go after that?

[00:23:00] Like, what did you, what did you do?

[00:23:02] What did you say?

[00:23:03] Like, how did you approach the next one?

[00:23:04] Because now you've had some experience.

[00:23:07] Yeah.

[00:23:08] Yeah.

[00:23:08] So I had only a few tattoos under my belt and still was like, totally had no idea what I was doing.

[00:23:16] And I just started messaging chops again.

[00:23:19] Like I had done the first time around and, um, went back to some of the same old guys that I had messaged before and got the same answer.

[00:23:27] No, get out of my shop.

[00:23:28] What are you doing?

[00:23:29] You know?

[00:23:30] And some of those guys I'm like, I'm friends with now.

[00:23:33] And I look back at that, like, you were tough loving me.

[00:23:37] We're good.

[00:23:38] You know, maybe, maybe not.

[00:23:39] I don't know.

[00:23:40] But I like to pretend you were.

[00:23:42] Yeah.

[00:23:43] Yeah.

[00:23:43] Yeah.

[00:23:43] Yeah.

[00:23:44] Totally.

[00:23:44] Some of them, some of them definitely for sure.

[00:23:46] They were like, you know, do more drawings, get the hell out of here.

[00:23:49] Um, but anyway, um, I think for, for me, I didn't really have a lot of connections in the art world at the time.

[00:24:00] And so I was starting at the very bottom of the totem pole with the type of people who stayed there.

[00:24:07] And, um, as I know, you know, like there's, there's a, a subculture to our subculture.

[00:24:15] There's a fringe, um, a seedy underbelly that's like, maybe it's disappearing.

[00:24:22] Maybe it's kind of like waning out to the farther and further out to the outskirts and going away.

[00:24:27] I don't know.

[00:24:28] I wouldn't think so.

[00:24:30] So maybe it just looks different now.

[00:24:33] I don't know.

[00:24:34] It's just, I think you're just elevating yourself.

[00:24:37] It's, it's like a different lifetime for me.

[00:24:39] And I don't really like know what that side of the tattooing world is like anymore.

[00:24:46] So I just, I guess I sort of, it's like out of, I have blinders around it now.

[00:24:51] Um, but, um, I finally got a response back from, from a shop in Pittsburgh that was like, yeah, come on in.

[00:25:01] We'll kind of see you.

[00:25:02] Um, and I came in to, um, watch these guys tattoo for a day and meet them.

[00:25:09] And a man named Ron Beckman was, um, in this shop.

[00:25:14] He was planning on being the person of the crime scene.

[00:25:16] And he, he was a very interesting character.

[00:25:20] Um, he was smoking cigarette and standing up tattooing a girl who was also standing up.

[00:25:28] Um, and he, yeah, it was, I don't remember what exactly was going on at the time, but he had freehand drawn on a Phoenix on her chest.

[00:25:36] A beautiful, symmetrical, traditional Phoenix.

[00:25:40] Wow.

[00:25:41] Threw it on and was just blasting through these lines while this cigarette was hanging out of his mouth.

[00:25:47] And this is not 1980.

[00:25:48] This was like, whatever, 2008 or something.

[00:25:52] Yeah.

[00:25:53] Yeah.

[00:25:54] Like way past when you do that.

[00:25:56] I don't think you could even smoke in restaurants anymore.

[00:25:59] Yes.

[00:26:00] And, and he's just, you know, talking to me and, and I'm like, you look really familiar to me.

[00:26:05] You know, he's like, yeah, you probably saw me on America's most wanted and just kind of laughed.

[00:26:10] And later on, I found out that was not a joke.

[00:26:13] It was totally real.

[00:26:15] Um, so that was how that started.

[00:26:22] And, and it was just like another, um, I had the benefit of learning some very traditional things from this guy.

[00:26:31] Um, he'd worked in Philadelphia and Jersey, um, worked with Philadelphia Eddie.

[00:26:38] And I think pissed off that whole East coast group of tattooers from that era.

[00:26:44] And, um, he, he would claim that, I don't know how much of his stories were true or not.

[00:26:51] He was just such a, um, an enigmatic person.

[00:26:58] He was, he was like one of those very, very, very talented, but very tortured people.

[00:27:06] Excuse me.

[00:27:06] And when he was sober, he did pretty well, but he didn't stay sober for long.

[00:27:12] Um, and yeah, so he, he, I remember he would brag that he was the reason that the Jersey shore was,

[00:27:21] had its reputation for being so dirty because when he got thrown out of Philadelphia, Eddie's shop,

[00:27:27] he was so mad that he took like five years of sharps containers and jumped them out on the Jersey shore.

[00:27:35] Oh no.

[00:27:37] So that was, yeah.

[00:27:39] And, and like that could totally just been a story, but knowing this guy.

[00:27:44] No, I, it probably was a real story.

[00:27:47] So I had a lot of really bizarre moments with this guy, um, over the course of maybe eight to 10 months.

[00:27:59] It didn't last very long because he didn't stay sober for very long and it got pretty dangerous working,

[00:28:08] working with somebody like that.

[00:28:10] Um, but I did, I did get to learn, like I said before, I got to learn how to mix my own pigments,

[00:28:16] solder my own needles, got to learn about the old school acetate stencils.

[00:28:21] And, um, I don't use any of that, but I appreciate that.

[00:28:27] I got to learn a bit about that.

[00:28:29] So, so there was that, there was that.

[00:28:31] Um, and I can't even really remember how, how that all ended up falling apart,

[00:28:41] but I think he went to jail at some point.

[00:28:43] And so then I apprenticed a third time at another shop down the street who hired me out of spite for that guy.

[00:28:51] Um, cause they didn't like him.

[00:28:55] And, and that shop was also just like a clusterfuck.

[00:29:01] Um, it was, there was a lot of this narcissistic abuse and the artists,

[00:29:07] there were some really good artists at this shop though.

[00:29:09] It was like a pretty decent street shop with some great artists that I really looked up to and still respect.

[00:29:14] But our, our, uh, boss was a mess.

[00:29:19] And, um, it was at that shop.

[00:29:23] I met my friend, Sarah Miller, who was on Ink Master, um, a few years after that.

[00:29:29] And she was kind of like the first, um, actual mentor.

[00:29:35] I think that I had where she,

[00:29:37] she had gone to art school and had a formal art education and was able to actually teach me things like color theory.

[00:29:45] So even though she wasn't promising me, she kind of took me under her wing a bit and was like,

[00:29:50] yeah, you need to draw hands and need to get burn Hogarth's dynamic anatomy book.

[00:29:56] And you need to do a color wheel and that sort of thing.

[00:29:59] And so she really helped me out with, um, with like actual art skills.

[00:30:05] And, um, a few years later she opened her own shop and hired me there.

[00:30:10] And that was, um, probably like my first real shop experience at that point.

[00:30:17] So in timeline kind of thing, I know it's hard, but had we met and when we're like, um,

[00:30:27] where were you at as far as like age wise, had you had a child yet?

[00:30:31] Had, uh, like, you know, just to kind of baseline personal kind of things in between.

[00:30:36] Cause I know I met you, your kid was like on you at paradise.

[00:30:41] Like your kid was ever going everywhere with you.

[00:30:43] And I thought that that was so again, metal.

[00:30:49] Amazing.

[00:30:50] I was like, Oh, you totally chose not to have kids.

[00:30:53] I mean, I think it was a good choice for me,

[00:30:57] but like, cause I couldn't fathom, I couldn't fathom doing what, you know, that, that job

[00:31:04] with a child.

[00:31:05] Like I, I was barely able to hold onto a boyfriend.

[00:31:11] I don't know.

[00:31:12] I'm going to wreck a kid.

[00:31:13] And I, I saw people doing it.

[00:31:15] I saw people doing it, but I was just like, you know, how, how, how are you doing this?

[00:31:20] I mean, I, I woke up this morning, just, just thinking about my, I don't even know what

[00:31:26] it was that Rico told me that was good.

[00:31:28] You know, we had to do.

[00:31:29] And I was like, how do people do this to kids?

[00:31:31] I woke up tired.

[00:31:35] Yeah.

[00:31:35] It's.

[00:31:37] Oh my God.

[00:31:38] It's real.

[00:31:41] So yeah, we met, it must've been about seven or eight years ago because my son Warren was

[00:31:49] an infant at the time.

[00:31:50] He was eight now.

[00:31:51] Okay.

[00:31:53] So after, um, working with Sarah, I got hired at body works tattoo, which, um, I guess I

[00:32:01] kind of left this part out of the story, but when, when I had gotten my very first tattoo

[00:32:06] done at the shop, I was out with my face player.

[00:32:09] It was a little bit of a traumatic experience.

[00:32:12] I, I wore, I was told to wear a bikini and I didn't need to wear a bikini.

[00:32:16] Um, and, um, the guy, well, there were two guys that tattooed me, but the owner of the

[00:32:22] shop tattooed me with his apprentice and the guy who ran that shop ended up getting shot

[00:32:28] in the head.

[00:32:31] Whoa.

[00:32:33] You froze for a second.

[00:32:35] Um, hopefully you come back.

[00:32:38] Cause that's a fucked up way to end the story.

[00:32:44] You're frozen.

[00:32:45] Am I frozen?

[00:32:46] Okay, cool.

[00:32:47] No, no.

[00:32:47] He got shot in the head.

[00:32:49] I was like, that's fucked up.

[00:32:50] If that's how we're going to leave this.

[00:32:52] Yeah.

[00:32:53] I know.

[00:32:54] I was like, is that really the last thing that you're going to hear me say?

[00:32:58] Um, anyway, that was just a whole thing.

[00:33:01] That was like, he got shot in the head years later, right in the shop, um, by a hell's

[00:33:06] angel, I think.

[00:33:08] And, and then I got my second tattoo shortly after by a guy named Don McDonald.

[00:33:15] Um, well, I don't know him, but I know of him.

[00:33:18] He's dope.

[00:33:20] He's one of my dearest friends and probably my one true mentor.

[00:33:25] Um, I got tattooed by him with a fake ID at the time.

[00:33:30] And I just, I, I'd seen some tattoos that he had done around town.

[00:33:35] And I was like, God, it's just amazing.

[00:33:38] And it was really him and the guys at body works that kind of gave me the faith that like,

[00:33:44] there's more to tattooing than just these scumbag dudes that I had been surrounded with.

[00:33:51] And they like, they, Don, especially really, um, gave me the inspiration and, and the courage,

[00:34:01] you know, to keep going throughout all of those years of hell.

[00:34:04] And he was the first artist that I met, maybe the first male figure other than my dad who treated

[00:34:12] me just like a person, not like weird for being a girl or, you know, like not as an object or a

[00:34:20] fragile thing or a different thing, but just a person and an artist.

[00:34:25] Um, and showed me what, what it was like to like be a professional, a real, a true professional

[00:34:32] and treat people with honor and respect and treat the profession with honor and respect.

[00:34:39] And so I'm, I'm just eternally grateful to that man in that shop for that.

[00:34:44] And over the years, he's really helped me so many times just with little things like, Hey,

[00:34:50] maybe you should open a checking account and get a credit score, you know, like I look

[00:34:54] back at those little moments, like, well, I mean, I kind of know, and I kind of don't know.

[00:35:04] I was not, um, I resigned myself very early on to being more of a friend.

[00:35:12] I kind of friend zoned myself and I dressed a lot like that.

[00:35:17] Um, it was only until I got into the beauty industry that I started playing with those spaces,

[00:35:21] but I've always been overweight and I've always taken on more of a bro kind of stance with things.

[00:35:29] And like I said, I kind of get crazy with them in ways that they're like, I don't really know

[00:35:35] about this one. Like she might be, I don't know. Like she might be just nuts. Like, like,

[00:35:39] I don't know if we could, I'd like, I, I had two things working for me that I don't really think

[00:35:46] I'm sure it was objectified, but I think I, I think I freaked him out a little bit. And I kind

[00:35:50] of always rested in that friend space instead of like the girlfriend space, as much as I kind of

[00:35:57] longed for that secretly. I just was kind of, I kind of, I kind of benched it there. Um, so

[00:36:04] my experience has always been having far more males in my life than I, uh, got along with

[00:36:12] than females, females. Actually, I think because I had that role always saw me as a threat, like who

[00:36:18] the fuck is this bitch? And I didn't have as great times with females. I had a lot of competition

[00:36:24] and a lot of nastiness and a lot of like, you know, they're like, she couldn't be this cool.

[00:36:30] Like really? And I'm like, I have no interest in your man. Not like that. So yeah, that was my

[00:36:37] experience. Like nobody wanted me to wear a bikini to be real. I don't, I like, sometimes I have to psych

[00:36:47] myself up to do it. I'm like, come on, man, you're fine. It's okay. Just do it.

[00:36:55] You know, it always felt like it had to be a choice that, that had to be made. Like,

[00:37:03] like, can I be treated with respect and treated like a professional or do I want to be seen as

[00:37:09] beautiful or sexy or as a woman? Yeah. And, and I very often thought of myself, like the way you're

[00:37:17] describing, like one of the bros, um, I, especially like going back to playing dance, you know, I was

[00:37:25] not around a lot of women. There aren't a lot of, um, women, unless they're autists that are like,

[00:37:31] I really love hardcore technical death metal. Maybe it's different now, but at the time I didn't have a,

[00:37:37] I didn't know a lot of women that were into that kind of music. And, um, and it would, it,

[00:37:42] I just remember like, um, thinking to myself, you know, I'm not trans going to say that now,

[00:37:50] but like, I remember thinking, I wish I could morph into being a man and do my job and then go

[00:37:56] back to being a girl just so that like shit doesn't get weird. And so many times I thought I was in the

[00:38:03] mask of like, I'm the bro and then would get startled by somebody missing, you know, interpreting

[00:38:11] my direct eye contact that I was raised to make with people as like, she wants me or whatever,

[00:38:16] you know, or just like being, being the only female in a male dominated space, maybe sometimes.

[00:38:23] And there was a lot of heartbreak in that over the years, a lot of heartbreak of just feeling like,

[00:38:31] like, I just, I just want to be accepted for being a person trying to pursue my creative goals.

[00:38:39] And if I want to look cute sometimes that should be okay too.

[00:38:43] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I just had so much more, I don't know. I don't know what it was

[00:38:55] that, that it was about me, but I just, um, never minded it. And it just never bothered me.

[00:39:04] I was just kind of like, cause when you think about it, a male at a very extreme point, well,

[00:39:10] fuck a tree. If that's all he's got, you know, like it doesn't, when you put it to that, you're just

[00:39:16] like, okay, like they, they're gonna, they're gonna do this regardless of what I do. Right. So

[00:39:24] I think when I kind of put it in that realm, I was just kind of like, I don't have control over this.

[00:39:29] So there's no point in me even caring about it until I I'm in a, in a space where I have to care about

[00:39:37] it. And then praise God, I've never been in any space that I couldn't get out of, um, or that I had

[00:39:44] to physically get out of. Um, so, uh, I just didn't, I guess that's why I just didn't worry

[00:39:52] about it. Why, why I, um, not in, I don't know. I just see it as another level of artistry, you know,

[00:39:59] like it's, it's your communication. It's like what you walk into the world with. And I grew up in the

[00:40:04] beauty industry. So it was always, um, and you grew up more, it seems like music and all that stuff is

[00:40:12] very emotional. And so is, um, you know, energy healing basically with massage, you're feeling

[00:40:19] people like you really have to be attuned to like the vibes they're putting off. But in the beauty

[00:40:25] industry, you're just cultivating, uh, masks that people wear. And, you know, so for me, it would just

[00:40:33] became like an expression of play. And, um, you know, I would kind of, in a very autistic way,

[00:40:39] I think, uh, look at it and be like, Oh, that's what you're saying. I don't want that. So, you

[00:40:45] know, like, like I would step outside of it and be like, what, what, what do you see? Like, I love

[00:40:49] seeing how, what people perceive of me and then kind of playing with that. I had this whole race

[00:40:56] conversation with friends of mine because, um, my friend is with a black man and they have a mixed

[00:41:02] daughter. And, um, Anaya is awesome, but they were saying something about her dad being white.

[00:41:08] And I was like, what is that? And she was like, and she was like, so embarrassed. Like you can tell

[00:41:14] and she was like trying to break it down for me. Like I sat there and I listened to her after she

[00:41:19] told me that her black dad's white. Uh, I don't know if you can still hear me and your, your screen

[00:41:25] froze. Uh, so I'm going to pause for a second, but, uh, okay, you're back. I didn't know if I froze,

[00:41:33] but after she was trying to attempt this concept of white, which was just, you know, it was playful.

[00:41:41] Um, I said, what am I? And there was, we don't even know, we don't even know what you are.

[00:41:52] You're like outside of the racial paradigm. I was like, well, that's awesome.

[00:41:58] Um, because that's what I want to be, you know, like, I don't want to be defined under a category.

[00:42:07] Um, and I think that's what you're saying is that like, you know, if you're so acutely aware

[00:42:13] of the choice to be one or the other, you know, like when, when, you know, you have to think about

[00:42:23] those things in such a, you know, a way that could draw good attention or bad attention,

[00:42:30] you know, it would, it would very much so, I think kind of,

[00:42:35] uh, you know, need to solidify more of an identifier, like an identity kind of thing.

[00:42:41] Um, I just never, I'm like, I don't, I like try to throw off any kind of descriptor.

[00:42:48] Like when people, you know, people ask me, what does it feel like to be a female tattoo or female

[00:42:53] blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.

[00:42:57] I hate that question. I'm just like, I'm a tattooer. I'm a tattooer, you know, I don't like,

[00:43:04] I remember somebody came into my shop and gave me a sign that said,

[00:43:08] this is a woman owned business. And I was like, I don't want any,

[00:43:12] any person that comes to me that wants my art strictly because I'm a woman, unless,

[00:43:20] unless it's a woman who is working through something delicate or traumatic that needs,

[00:43:28] like, I get that I've been there. I was like, I wish that I had my butt tattooed by a woman,

[00:43:32] even though it was my dear friend, Steve, and he was very polite and sweet and respectful.

[00:43:36] I still couldn't stop thinking about if he saw my butthole or not. So he did.

[00:43:41] He definitely did. And I wish I'd put a googly eye on top of that.

[00:43:44] He didn't do it right. If he, and that would have been amazing. Oh my God. I wish you would

[00:43:49] have done that. I would have been taking the power back, man.

[00:43:54] I thought about it so many times, but I also was like, you know, I wouldn't like,

[00:43:58] I probably would have been a lot more at ease. Like if I had to fart, you know, around a girl,

[00:44:04] like I just, and I wouldn't have been as stressed about like, if she was looking at my butthole or

[00:44:10] not. And I have a male gynecologist. So all of this to me, it's funny that you say that about the eye,

[00:44:17] because he told me the story about a female that he was with that had an eyeball piercing on her

[00:44:23] vag. And she goes, you know, when you're doing what you're doing now, I want you to know that I'm

[00:44:26] going to have my eye on you. And he's like, okay. And so then we got to,

[00:44:31] what she was talking about. And so he was telling me, and I'm like, Dr. Herbst, his name is Herbst.

[00:44:39] Are you serious? You can't make it up, dude. He's the man who birthed me, Allie. Like,

[00:44:48] he's seen generational badge. Wow. Okay. That, I respect that. That's pretty cool.

[00:44:55] Dr. Herbst. Maybe that's why I'm just so like, oh, what are you making sexualized?

[00:45:10] That's amazing. That's amazing. He tells me these things where he's like,

[00:45:13] got his hands in me. And I'm like, well, you know, like, whatever.

[00:45:23] Checking my boobs for loans, being like, so, you know,

[00:45:28] it's so, it's kind of like us as artists, when we are drawing somebody naked, we're not

[00:45:34] seeing the nudity. You don't even have the stuff turned on to facilitate a sexual

[00:45:43] feeling about it. It's so analytical. It's so, like, I heard about this porno of somebody tattooing

[00:45:50] while having sex. I'm like, how do you do that? Now, what does this tattoo look like? Is it just,

[00:46:00] you know, like an expressionistic, you know, what is that? Okay. All right. My brain is going there.

[00:46:08] I'm sorry. Too many questions. I'm sorry. We wanted questions.

[00:46:23] Have I answered any of your questions? Yes. A lot of, it's not about answering the questions.

[00:46:30] That's why I like to go rogue. Okay. It's about you. It's about highlighting you and giving the people

[00:46:37] who come to listen to this, an idea of the person that they're going to sit with,

[00:46:41] what you've been through, what you know to cultivate in them, what kind of space you provide.

[00:46:50] And, and, and for posterity too, like for your kids, for people who listen to this,

[00:46:56] for your family, for like anybody who might not understand certain things that you've been through

[00:47:02] or your perception of things. That's why I call it the, the apprenticeship diaries is because it's a

[00:47:08] diary entry. That's all it is, is like, um, you know, the, the initial questions were just to get

[00:47:15] your brain, you know, going, but the, the way it takes off is so beautiful and it gives a yield so

[00:47:23] much to the person listening. And then if we had just kept it scripted, you know, in my eyes, like

[00:47:31] it's like getting a tattoo in itself, like, you know, it's so rare, you don't know what you're

[00:47:36] going to get into. And then you're sitting with this person and like some really cool things happen

[00:47:41] and we can do it again. That's the other thing is that like, if you listen to this and you're like,

[00:47:46] Oh, I wish I would have said that contact me. We'll talk up. We'll like make it a point.

[00:47:51] Say it next time. Like it's only one.

[00:47:56] You just keep going.

[00:47:58] Great. Sounds good.

[00:48:00] Yeah. No, no. I mean, we were trying to stay focused, but there's so much coolness. Like there's,

[00:48:05] there's so many cool things to talk about. And, um, that's a beautiful thing to give people,

[00:48:11] I think, to look forward to in the later stages of tattooing is that it doesn't end, you know,

[00:48:18] like these, these deep thoughts, these explorations, you know, these, uh, scaling yourself, what's next,

[00:48:25] all the things that they're feeling right now, where they're just like, when will I be able to do

[00:48:31] that? It's like, dude, join the club. Yeah. It doesn't stop, man. Like all these things,

[00:48:38] all these questions, you're going to solve them. You're going to have them. And then you're going

[00:48:41] to, however they transpire, hopefully it's not traumatic, but it might be, it probably will.

[00:48:49] You know, something I learned being a mom that was kind of a shock for me is there is no getting

[00:48:56] through this life without trauma. There's none. And that might sound like obvious, but I remember

[00:49:02] my son thought that I died when we first moved out here and you know, we're way out, we're way up in

[00:49:09] the holler and he's like me, he'll get very hyper-focused on something when he's making

[00:49:14] something or doing something and totally like block out other sounds. And so I told him,

[00:49:20] Bjorn, I'm going outside to go build something. And he's like, yeah, cool. But didn't hear me.

[00:49:26] And, and I was like far from the house where he couldn't see me.

[00:49:32] And I think he was maybe like four at the time. So he was big enough to be on his own,

[00:49:37] but not for a long period of time. And I think about a half hour had passed. And I was like,

[00:49:41] that's weird. I haven't seen him before in a while. Yeah. I'm going to go check on him. And so I went

[00:49:47] back to toward the house and I hear him wailing and he's got this little wizard wand that I gave him a

[00:49:55] while ago. And he's trying to continue back to life. And I'm like, Bjorn, I'm right here. And

[00:50:02] he's like, I thought you died. I went looking for you everywhere in the house and I couldn't find you.

[00:50:09] And then I went outside and yelled for you and you didn't yell back. So I just thought you would

[00:50:13] die. And I'm like, Lena's on my back. My daughter is on my back. And I'm like, Lena's like, you thought

[00:50:18] Lena died too? And he's like, well, I don't know. She's a baby. Like I just figured she was done.

[00:50:21] She's not even a person. And so he like went through this whole process of like mourning me.

[00:50:29] He went, he decided that he was going to have to learn how to cook, tried to make himself a sandwich,

[00:50:35] couldn't make himself a sandwich, went up to my bed, cried on my bed, decided he was going to go

[00:50:39] out on a journey and try to go to my neighbor's house. But that's a pretty far walk. And he's like,

[00:50:43] nope, I can't do that. I'm going to have to learn magic and bring her back to life. And all of that

[00:50:48] happened in a half hour. And yes, in the course of a half an hour, and we had to like work through

[00:50:55] it together. You know, it was a lot like we had to talk about death and dying and all this stuff.

[00:51:01] And I was just like, wow, this is it's unavoidable, you know, especially when we're young,

[00:51:08] and we are inexperienced and vulnerable and afraid. But I've also thought about this a lot. I'm sure

[00:51:18] you've had this happen once or twice in your career where you tattoo a person who's just a mess,

[00:51:23] and they just cannot handle even the slightest bit of discomfort. And usually these people come

[00:51:29] with a gaggle of coddlers, you know, they come with they do, they come with a whole family of

[00:51:36] enablers. Yes. And, and they are the worst. And I realized the worst trauma in this life is the

[00:51:44] trauma of no traumas. Yes. Like where the worst thing you've experienced in your life is like,

[00:51:51] getting yourself shut off or something. Just existing is painful for you. And it like that is

[00:52:01] what I would, I would never wish that upon my worst enemy.

[00:52:07] Agreed. Agreed. Absolutely. No, you're 100% right. 100% right. Yeah, it says, it's either that,

[00:52:17] or they come, not having made time, like not clearing their plate enough to kind of,

[00:52:27] like with me with, with me with anything, honestly, I, I don't know, my friends and my,

[00:52:35] I, those, they're sacred moments to me. So if I, the, the benefit of growing up in an age without

[00:52:41] cell phones is that I know how to put it down and walk away from it. But like, I, I really make time

[00:52:50] for the people when I am very, I'm trying to make it more often for people that I love, but when I'm

[00:52:57] with them, I'm with them. And same with tattooing, same with anything. If I've scheduled an appointment,

[00:53:03] that's my day. Like that is no matter what, that's going to be what happens. And if something happens

[00:53:10] that, I don't know, sends a kink in it, I know that people are very honest with that, but I think

[00:53:16] that that's a measure of integral, um, kind of finiteness is that if you make an appointment,

[00:53:23] it's going to be something really awful for you to not make that appointment or not. And, and you grow

[00:53:30] that integrity over time, but like, I know how to, like, if I'm getting tattooed, that's my whole day.

[00:53:35] Like, I'm not thinking about anything else. I'm not thinking about my taxes, my bills, my anything.

[00:53:40] I am in that room and I'm only in that room and that's it. So, you know, the other people that

[00:53:48] have problems are people who have trauma very close to when they're getting tattooed.

[00:53:52] Uh, which is why I, I don't tattoo people within a year of losing somebody very potent in their life.

[00:53:59] I want them to go through grief. That's a big one. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree with that. Yeah.

[00:54:06] Because you know, you kind of tattoo the pain in them and it, it just, it kind of expands on that.

[00:54:12] And there you kind of locked in that moment. Um, yes. I feel like it's the difference between

[00:54:19] tattooing tombstones on someone versus flowers, you know what I mean? Yes. You don't want to put a

[00:54:27] tombstone on someone. Yeah, exactly. Yes, exactly. You want a remembrance, a reflection, something that

[00:54:35] has a piece to it. Yeah. Yeah. The full, the full, the full acceptance, you know, it's very important.

[00:54:43] It takes time. Definitely. Yeah. I wouldn't really tattoo people after COVID. I could have,

[00:54:48] yeah. I mean, there was, uh, everybody said I was very stupid, um, you know, like economically and

[00:54:57] yeah, I could have, uh, I guess taken advantage of that. I couldn't though. I couldn't tattoo people

[00:55:04] because I had gone through a death in my soul and I couldn't imagine that was anyone else. It was,

[00:55:13] was kept from that. Cause we all, as a, I think a world went through a rift, um, for what happened.

[00:55:19] And I just knew that everybody was grieving something. And I was like, you, I know you want

[00:55:25] to get tattooed right now. It was like the chick that would come and be like, after she just broke

[00:55:30] up with her boyfriend, I just went bangs. And I'm like, do you though? Like, think about this because

[00:55:35] this is, or like, cut it all off. I'm like, what did you, what did you just go through? Like

[00:55:44] what's going on? What's happening?

[00:55:47] Amy, I should have came and talked to you. I got my face tattoo and my throat tattoo during COVID.

[00:56:02] I got double bangs. I got some serious bangs.

[00:56:05] Yeah.

[00:56:07] You know, I mean, they're lovely. I don't think there's much that could diminish,

[00:56:13] diminish you my friends, just so you know, and you know, they say, I think, you know,

[00:56:20] as I said, you can't have enough tattoos for your soul not to be seen at the end of it all. So like,

[00:56:25] that's really important. And like, as a practitioner, I couldn't do it, man. Like I was,

[00:56:31] I was too angry. I was, I felt like I was lashing out at people too much.

[00:56:35] Um, I only committed to the people that I had actually already had on my books and I wanted

[00:56:41] to fulfill their work for them, but I was angry, man. I had to microdose to get through it

[00:56:49] and, uh, really calm down. I'm, I'm kind of in that stage again, honestly, with this whole

[00:56:55] Helene thing. I'm so mad. I'm so fucking mad. Like, I don't want to tattoo right now. It feels like such a

[00:57:03] awful way to spend my time when so many people are hurting. I just want to like go down there

[00:57:07] and donate my time to like, I, I don't know. I'm still thinking about it, but I'm so angry right

[00:57:14] now. I, I feel the same way. I'm heartbroken. And yeah, maybe, maybe we should do another podcast

[00:57:26] about that because I have a lot to say about that, but that's like a whole,

[00:57:32] a whole thing. And I have to pee and get back to my kids.

[00:57:39] So we can pause and let you pee. And then we can do a wrap up kind of thing about, um, how people get

[00:57:45] in touch with you, but go pee, go pee. And then, um, we'll do a wrap up. Okay. Can you, can you

[00:57:51] we can cut all this up? Yeah. Like I'm in the bathroom. Oh, good. That's my only, that's my

[00:57:56] only like quiet. I'm going to turn my audio off or you turn your audio off and your video.

[00:58:03] Okay. Both. And do your thing. Okay. I love this.

[00:58:13] Man. Okay. I'm back. That's good. I was like, I don't know if she's hearing me,

[00:58:18] but like, I'm going to keep talking even through this. Um, because it, you know, I could cut it

[00:58:24] out, but I just think it's so awesome that you were in your bathroom. So it was kind of like,

[00:58:28] I was, I had some of the best selfies in my bathroom and everything.

[00:58:33] This is like, this is where, this is my business. This is my office. Basically.

[00:58:37] I love it. This is like my, my one is the first house I've ever had where I have my own bathroom

[00:58:42] and I have all my pretty art in here. And I've got like a little altar and some pretty stuff.

[00:58:48] All my nice candles. And this is where I do my work, man. This is where it happens.

[00:58:53] I love it. I wanted, I wanted to show you my beautiful tree house studio, but I have terrible

[00:58:59] self-service there. We wouldn't have been able to get through this without.

[00:59:04] No problem. So we'll take, um, take pictures. And I am, I am curious about that, but, um,

[00:59:12] that might be just a hook to get people invested and, and sent to you, um, to be like, wow, you have

[00:59:19] a tree house tattoo studio. Like, that's really awesome. Um, cause I was curious, like, how do you

[00:59:25] get people like in West Virginia to like, but that's a nice thing.

[00:59:29] Yeah. I I'd love to do this again and we can talk more about like, like, I feel like we, we talked

[00:59:36] about the first half of everything, but not the last, the most recent. Um, and so I'd love to talk

[00:59:44] with you more about that, but that could be a whole other couple of hours. Yeah, no, it, I mean,

[00:59:49] with me, certainly. Yeah. Um, where can people, uh, what is the best way for people to reach out to you?

[00:59:59] Should they want to get tattooed? Um, start with that. Yeah. They can fill out a consultation form

[01:00:06] on oxenbloodart.com. Okay. And I have, um, two studios that I operate out of and I kind of go all

[01:00:15] over the place because I'm so far out in the boonies. Now, some people like to travel and some

[01:00:21] people don't. So I have an apartment out here that my clients come and stay at. And mostly the only

[01:00:28] the only tattoos I do here in the tree house are large scale, my large scale work. Um, we usually

[01:00:35] book off the weekend and I just tattoo women here. Um, but I love men too. I love tattooing men.

[01:00:40] I just don't want them up in my holler where I live with my kids. No offense to you guys. But, um,

[01:00:47] so I also work at a little, um, hippie artist town, um, nearby here in Thomas where I do walk-ups.

[01:00:54] I haven't done walk-ups in years and now I'm just doing little, little bitties over there. And,

[01:01:00] and I, I travel a lot and do guest spots when I can to get back into cities still. But for me at

[01:01:08] this point in my career, it's so important to have my little sanctuary and, um, I love it. It's such

[01:01:16] a blessing. It's what I've always dreamed of. Well, maybe, um, you know, as you're saying,

[01:01:21] and I'm like, dude, that, that sounds like a tattoo experience I'd like to have. So, um,

[01:01:30] now question, if I were to do this, um, could I, could I bring my husband with me to stay?

[01:01:40] Yes, absolutely. Yeah. All right. That's not like, uh, uh, I don't follow that rule perfectly. It's

[01:01:47] like, it's not the perfect rule. I've had some people get angry with me and call me a turf for,

[01:01:53] for having that rule, but my two children were here with me. Yes. You have to make a huge, uh,

[01:02:00] choice there. And you know, a couple couples and husbands and wives don't even predict safety. Um,

[01:02:08] true, true. But yeah, I mean, I talked to my brother-in-law and you know, like, like,

[01:02:13] I still, I still bring people, dudes out here. Um, but, but one, like just.

[01:02:19] They'll probably chop all your wood for you for the day.

[01:02:24] You most certainly would be welcome out here with your husband anytime. And maybe we can do a little

[01:02:29] trade. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I would love that. I would love that. I'd have to pay you something.

[01:02:34] But we'd have to, I'm going to give you all things. Um, cause that's like a very sacred space.

[01:02:39] Like that's awesome. It's really special. It's, it's changed so much. It's, it's a dream.

[01:02:47] That is a dream. That is a dream. And that's why I want to go. Cause that might be

[01:02:53] what ours manifests into. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for, I'm waiting for the dream to be unveiled. Um,

[01:03:01] but you know, you, you're there with your children and that's been, I think a lot of

[01:03:06] your motivation. I've, I've never integrated my life with another person before, but, um,

[01:03:11] I know that he, he desires more of that. Um, so now we gotta, we gotta blend it.

[01:03:18] Yeah, for sure. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I love that you work in two different places. All right.

[01:03:24] What's the, uh, the tattoo studio again called in Thomas?

[01:03:27] It's called chimera. Chimera. Okay. And my business partner, abacus does, um,

[01:03:34] she's a seer and does palmistry and readings and studied under a really magical woman. Um,

[01:03:42] and I can't even begin to articulate the kind of stuff that she does. Cause it's beyond my scope

[01:03:48] of understanding, but she charts the moon and knows a bunch of neat stuff. And it's sort of, um,

[01:03:55] um, we're gypsies of, of our own sorts and we, we mesh together really well. We like to, um,

[01:04:04] make the whole space into sort of like an exhibit and it's just really fun getting to collaborate,

[01:04:10] um, in that space and, and have the best of both worlds being able to show up and,

[01:04:17] you know, just be like, I have no idea what's going to come in today. And that's great. And then I go

[01:04:23] back home and like chart out the next year of appointments and spend six months painting a piece

[01:04:29] that I'll work on for 10 years. And that's great too, but it's nice to have a break from that.

[01:04:33] Yeah. And, and have, um, a balance again. So, yeah.

[01:04:38] Yeah. That's wonderful. Wonderful. Well, is there something that you'd like to close with? Um, cause

[01:04:44] we didn't get to everything, but is there some piece of something that you could give to, uh,

[01:04:50] to our listeners, uh, again, a hook or something that you might want to tell them as an advice or I

[01:04:57] don't know, it's up to you. Well, are the listeners or podcasts mostly?

[01:05:03] I missed that. You just broke up a little. What was that again?

[01:05:08] Oh, you froze. Why does it keep doing this?

[01:05:13] She'll be back. Uh, what was that again?

[01:05:16] Are your listeners mostly tattooers, apprentices? Is it a mix of people? I mean,

[01:05:23] I'd say most are tattoo artists or, or would be, um, though I've interviewed many different types of

[01:05:30] people, but I would say that because I'm a tattoo artist, that's mostly why people listen.

[01:05:35] Well, I would say to tattooers and anybody that's pursuing a creative, um, career to just experiment

[01:05:48] with the idea of treating everything you do as if it is deeply meaningful. And I think that, um,

[01:05:56] um, if you shift your, your sights toward that, um, you will open so many doors, um, and realms and

[01:06:06] dimensions, you know? Um, and it's, it's just, it's so exciting to, to live this life as a creative

[01:06:15] person who, um, hopefully is, is able to utilize that, that gift of sight in that way. And, um,

[01:06:25] be open to it because what's the harm, what's the harm in opening yourself to that? It's,

[01:06:30] it's scary, but it's such a thrill and shifting more towards meaning and fulfillment and purpose

[01:06:37] in this life rather than just the fleeting pursuit of happiness is, um, is also such a joy and a

[01:06:46] treasure. And, um, even, even if today is your last day on earth, if you, if you treat even the

[01:06:53] most tiny little tattoo is if it's the most meaningful thing in the world, um, you're

[01:06:59] never going to lose a second. You're never going to regret a second.

[01:07:03] I love that. That's great advice. Thank you.

[01:07:07] Yeah. Thank you, Amy. This was awesome.

[01:07:09] This was awesome. Um, um, I thank your kids too. Tell them I appreciate them. Uh, cause you

[01:07:16] could have died. I'm sorry. I'm morbid.

[01:07:25] It's okay. It's okay. You'd fit right in West Virginia.

[01:07:31] Oh, I love you girl.

[01:07:33] Love you too.

[01:07:34] Thank you.

[01:07:35] You're awesome. Thank you. Let me let you go. Have a blessed day. And, uh, I'm excited. I will, uh,

[01:07:41] let you know when this goes out and give you some, some heads up.

[01:07:44] That sounds great.

[01:07:46] Awesome. Bye my friend.

[01:07:48] Goodbye. Be well.

[01:07:50] Yes, you too.

[01:07:56] Thanks for listening. You can find the apprenticeship diaries on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

[01:08:02] Our IG is the underscore apprenticeship underscore diaries. If you would like to offer constructive

[01:08:07] criticism or an interview, drop us an email at the apprenticeship diaries at gmail.com.

[01:08:12] We look forward to hearing from our listeners.