Ep. 243 "May We All Ascend Together... But F Flies" (Diary Entry 2:2 with Nicole DeRoy)

[00:00:00] Well hello and welcome back diary listeners. This is part two of our time with Nicole DeRoy. We're going to talk about a lot of things actually. In fact, it was it was a little hard to name the second piece I was torn between lots of titles, soup, squirrels, hawks, hawks and squirrels.

[00:00:27] But at the end of the day, I decided that this one pretty much encapsulated the entire vibe. I'm dubbing the second piece and the final part of my time with Nicole. May we all ascend together. But F Flies. Enjoy listeners. Welcome to the Apprenticeship Diaries where raw meets refined. Let's be real, we're still working on the fine.

[00:00:57] What it took, what it takes and the stories that are made. Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin. Now is operations very smooth in your tattoo shop? Do you guys have rotation? Like what's the order of which you guys do things?

[00:01:19] It's just rotation. Yeah, so it's it's pretty chill. Honestly, it's pretty laid back as long as nobody is trying to like stuff on each other's toes or like, do anything like that. I mean, there's three of us. And yeah, it's so far so good. Yeah, it's just rotation. So the group comes in like three or four people, we just like take whoever and then whoever's ready is ready.

[00:01:40] Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've had each other. I've had I've had some issues and street shops just because of the rotation kind of thing like the incident that happened was a guy emailed another person that was working at the shop started started the conversation there didn't hear back.

[00:02:00] I mean, I had been dropped for the day. The guy he had talked to was busy for the day. He wasn't. He wasn't working at he had an appointment, so he wouldn't have been able to service him. But I was available. So I was like, well, if he hasn't gotten back to you yet, I am available. I think I can take this on. I can make this beautiful. We started a conversation, started tattooing, thought everything was fine.

[00:02:29] Well, no, because he had emailed bro first and bro hadn't gotten back to him. I jumped the rotation line. And so I got my ass chewed out at the end of that doesn't make sense because unless they came in. Requesting them by name like, hey, I want to work with so and so. Yeah, we'll see. And that's that's the problem.

[00:02:53] I feel like sometimes within the shop dynamics where you have, you know, you have if they're walking only, then there's just the that's the that's the protocol. It's all on it's all on a rotation. If people get asked for by name, that's that's who does it. You know, and that's that's basically it. But I was expected to not investigate anything further into the matter.

[00:03:20] The man was like, I just I just want to talk to somebody about my idea. And I was available and I was the one there. Nobody else was there. Like I was the first one there. So it was it was it was a quite. I that's what I found in a lot of those street shop situations is a lot of you never know sometimes when you're stepping on somebody's toes.

[00:03:42] And then, you know, there's there's no way to feel other than kind of shitty after you do a great job for a client and then get pulled in the back because somehow some way you you messed up. And then you get your ass shoot out because, you know, there was some order of things that you weren't aware of that you're like, how does that make any sense?

[00:04:04] Yeah, that's like that's one of those things where it's like you can only be responsible for what you're aware of. Like, well, and I do think it's a it's a deficit of service, especially if, you know, you're an owner of a business for you to have a kind of rule in your shop that's that goes like if you're sitting at the front desk, you don't currently have, you know, anything going on.

[00:04:34] You just had somebody drop you for the day. Somebody walks in. It means that everybody can be busy that day. Right. And you're able to handle it. And this person hasn't been talked to yet. You know, they haven't had anybody attend to them yet, regardless of who they came in wanting to talk to. I mean, that's what I mean is like the general public. And this is why I get frustrated with vilifying the public is that we come into it ignorant.

[00:05:01] We come into it not knowing any of this stuff. The public is just as if not more ignorant. Yeah, they're totally in the dark. They don't know how it works. All they want is a good tattoo. All they want is some time and attention and to feel like they matter and they're valued.

[00:05:19] And if they email somebody and they haven't heard back for them in like a week or however long they think and they make the added effort to come in and they're like, hey, man, I don't really care who does it. I just emailed this person, you know, but I really just I really just want the tattoo. And I was hoping to get it today. Are you available? For me, it's like, no, man, can't do it. You know, you contacted that person. You're locked in. I got to wait for him. I got that.

[00:05:49] That's a lot of extra like what? Right. Does this make any sense? No, it's like. And some of that, too, it's like the client just has to speak up. Like if they really wanted to work with that other artist, then they should say that coming in. Yeah. If they don't care, then that's fine, too.

[00:06:12] If they don't actually care, which if they got tattooed by you, clearly they didn't care enough to wait to get tattooed by the other person. They just wanted to get in and get tattooed. Yeah. They just saw an avenue through that one person. Yeah. Which which this is how it went down. The guy, the guy that had been contacted first tattooed, bitched about me to the owner, then left for the day.

[00:06:40] And then I get pulled in the back after I'm finished with my client and get reamed for jumping the line. And I was like, first of all, where's bro? Where's bro? Why? Why am I hearing this? Why isn't this a group conversation? Yeah. Like and why isn't he here? Like, so now I got to like touch base with him and like, you know, do do the apology tour for whatever the hell I did wrong that I'm not even exactly clear about because I made a client happy.

[00:07:08] You know, like that's insane, dude. I just made a client ecstatic. I made money for the day, which makes money for the shop. And I'm getting bitched at. How does that work? Like it was the weirdest shit. So that's just things that it's for posterity that I'm talking about it just because that's something that has happened to me in a street shop that I'm just like, yeah, no, I'll just I'll just do appointment only then. Like I won't do it.

[00:07:34] I won't do walk-ins then because if that's how it's going to be, if this is even going to be something that we run, we run afoul on. Yeah, just not. I mean, it's like, I just like, I make sure I try to, you know, keep up with my emails and stuff like that. Like I, it's not just walk-in only like we do take appointments. We do take both.

[00:07:57] Which for me is just like such a godsend right now because I feel like ever since I started tattooing in 2020, like it's just been like pulling teeth, finding myself in a shop that actually brought in business for me. Yeah. Like I have been busting my ass, building my own clientele from nothing, which, you know, isn't a bad thing. I'm not complaining about it, but I haven't had support from shop owners. Yeah.

[00:08:22] And so for me, I'm just like sitting here and I'm like, I am just so fucking grateful that if I don't have someone booked for the day, I know I'm going to eat. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that great? It's beautiful. It's wonderful. Yeah. That is the best. It's just like, this is just, this is just where I am at right now. And I'm totally okay with that. Yeah. And sure enough. I mean, I do think that, you know, for the people listening that are newer, working in a street shop is really, really valuable.

[00:08:52] I mean, you meet so many people, they'll meet lifetime clients. They'll keep coming back if they had a good time. You know, it's not like you're not building your clientele that way. It's just that, you know, you might not, it might be a handful of people out of all the people you tattoo. But like you said, you're getting, you're getting the confidence that you're going to eat. You're, you're getting that presence thing, which is really great. The flexing muscles that are really important to not get stagnant.

[00:09:18] That'll be great when you go and you travel and you do all the things that you like to do, which is good. Adjust to different atmospheres. And, you know, just really be like, okay, well, I guess this is what today's going to be. Like, woo. No. And you know what? It's, it's an added benefit of that too, is like not having appointments booked every single day that I'm working of the week. I have so much less homework. Mm-hmm. I can actually go paint. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:47] If I want to. Yeah. Like, it's really nice having that little bit of extra free time. Yeah. Instead of sitting down and drawing for like 20 hours every week, maybe I'm drawing for four. Yeah. Because when I'm in the shop, I'm drawing on the spot, which is really cool too, because it's actually speeding up my drawing process. Mm-hmm. Yeah, man. I have to get more efficient with it.

[00:10:14] I have to really kind of like approach it from this, this space of, hey, time is money right now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's cool. Last weekend, one of the days I, I turned through six tattoos. That's nice. That's awesome. In six hours. Hell yeah, man. That's great. That's a great day. Yeah. And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's really cool. That's really, really cool. And I was tired, but it was worth it. Yep. Yeah.

[00:10:44] Nothing, nothing bad about that. Not at all. That's great. Uh-huh. Well, I love that. I love that for you. It looks like a beautiful shop too. Oh, it's absolutely gorgeous. It's a great space. Now, what is it called again? Ascension tattoo. Ascension. Pretty. I like that. Maybe we ascend together. Mm-hmm. That's nice. That's very nice. I like that. Yeah. I like that. That's cool. No, so far so good. I'm really enjoying it there. And it's like, it's a good vibe. You know, good tunes.

[00:11:14] Just super chill. Nothing crazy. No crazy egos, which is beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot. There's a lot of ego and, well, and people. Truth. It's just a, it's a hard thing. It's a hard thing to get over. Yeah. I'm, yeah, I'm definitely a slave to mine.

[00:11:37] Today, I was kind of like anti-tattoo and then reclaimed to it because it is, it's just a need to heal with people. I think. I think it's just part of the journey. Like you go through phases where you're like, you know, because sometimes it can like, if, if you lose that presence, which is really easy to do when you lose that presence, that's

[00:12:05] when you start to go down in the spiral. Oh yeah. When you start to like, let your mind be like, oh, I didn't get into this to do this or like, oh no, like not this again. Or like, oh, I'm dealing with the same personality again. That is very brash and doesn't really want to listen to my expertise or my recommendations or, you know, I gotta, oh no, not this. Or like, oh no, not this.

[00:12:35] Oh, I don't have time to make my own art anymore. And then you just spiral. Yep. And we just got to break that. You got to recognize it. You got to get yourself fucking conscious enough to recognize it and be like, Hey, you know what? I'm going to choose to do something different. I'm going to make a choice to go back up instead of back down.

[00:13:04] And it's a fuck. My train of thought just got lost. No, no. I was, I was tracking you. Um, you know, you're very right. Um, and, and balance your own perspective of yourself. And I think that's really where I'm at. It's like, I, I, I got hit very personally, at least that I felt. And, um, you know, as much as I don't want anybody to put me on too high a pedestal, I don't want to hear that. I'm.

[00:13:32] You know, that I, I, I, I hurt somebody in some way that I never intended to either. Like that's horrible, you know, like, oh, for sure. And I, and you know what it's, if, if we're still talking about that same instance with peeling off the skin, is that. I mean, that's just one example. That's just one example. That's, that's one example. It's an example of influence, you know, like we are in a very influential space in people's lives.

[00:13:59] Like, like you said that there's marks on our bodies that we confront every single day that we have to have, you know, a continual feeling for and acceptance for. And, you know, it's, it's like anything, if you feel like you. Yeah, I, I, I know I'm not guilty of certain things, but, um,

[00:14:24] deciding whether or not I want to continue to do something and take the hits over and over again about what I could potentially do to another person or what they might accuse me of or convict me of and what I might have to weather in the face of that, that that's been something that has really been very apparent in the past four years for me. And, um, you know, a lot of healing needs to take place.

[00:14:51] It's not anything that you can't conquer, uh, that I realized, but, you know, like I said my friend, if you want to heal wounded, wounded animals, for example, you're going to get bit. If you want to be in the business of, of atoning and meeting other people in, in healing space or whatever like that, or if you want to, you want to give that to them, you really like being a part of that. You're going to get hurt too. So yeah, for sure.

[00:15:19] And I just have to decide how much of that I'm really willing to do, how much I can mitigate, how much I can set those expectations, you know, like one of the things that, that happened, what, you know, was this election, for example. And that was the other thing that we decided to talk about because I had said before the election that if Kamala won, I was just going to, I was going to go off. Like I would not off.

[00:15:44] I was going to get off social media, like completely just stop talking to like, unless I was talking to people that I really knew. And I had a lot of people saying, no, man, don't give up. Like just, you know, just figure it out, which I would have, you know, I would have, but honestly, on the other side of it, I feel the same way. Like, I feel like I need to stop anyway. Like I need to just stop. Like that's the conclusion after all of it, regardless of who won.

[00:16:14] And I really feel like I'm in the same space because of the amount of pain and the amount of fear and the amount of all of that, that I still see all around me. There's, there's, it's, it's a very heavy space right now. Yeah. It is very toxic. There's a lot of projection. There's a lot of, um, ill addressed anger being thrown out. Mm-hmm.

[00:16:42] Um, and I'm seeing this as, oh, and I feel unburdened by what has been. Sorry. Oh, and you know what? It's just like, I want justice. That's all. That's all I can say is I want justice. There has definitely been terrible things, but I don't want justice against my fellow citizens. I want justice from the people who led. Right. That's who I want to see.

[00:17:11] And I think that's, that's, what's getting lost in all of this is there are people who are projecting their fears, their anxieties, their pain, their, um, imagined. Whatever. You know, whatever's going on, how valid it is, who the fuck knows? Everybody's got different experiences and different situations. Um, but that, you know, what's, what's everyone's failing to realize is that whatever you believe,

[00:17:40] it doesn't fucking matter what you believe. I know. What are your fucking values? Yeah. Where do you stand? Yeah. What do you, what do you have convictions in? How does these people, how does everybody else around you share convictions with you? Where can you find your common ground? Why can't we just totally come together and realize that it's not you and I who are fucking enemies.

[00:18:08] It's not you and your fucking neighbor, your hairdresser, your tattoo artist. Mm-hmm. It's the people who are trying to micromanage your fucking life. Mm-hmm. That's who the issue is. The people who are stealing off your fucking table, out of your wallet and sending it to wars overseas to kill children. I know. And other people, other innocent people. And other people, other innocent people. Like we are not the fucking enemy people. No.

[00:18:38] We're not your fucking enemy. We're your brothers and sisters and we need to fucking unite. So we need to set aside our beliefs because beliefs are just what we perceive. Mm-hmm. They're just our perspective on something. Set that shit aside. What do you value? Yeah. What are your convictions? Well, and that can only be really accounted for, I think, upon actions.

[00:19:04] Because as I said to my friend, Neil, he's like one of my favorite people in church. We went to watch Am I Racist together. And I said, you know, I know it's great. He's 75. And I said, you know, I'm a very big follow it to the end kind of person. Like, okay, if I have a certain goal, what's the goal? And what will get me to the goal?

[00:19:30] So if the goal is connection, and if the goal is for us to be kinder and more accepting and more conscientious of each other, then you have to take a course of action that is going to get you to that goal.

[00:19:46] And for what I've saw of at least the DEI initiative is that when put to task, I'm fine with like, let's experiment and see if in trying to offset a balance of things, we can see if this works.

[00:20:02] But if what it ends up doing is making the entire issue worse, and it puts people on edge and makes people scared and makes people angry and stops connection before it starts. Then that's a failed experiment. That's a failed thing. So you have to come off of it.

[00:20:25] And you got to say, well, okay, in terms of belief, you know, if you if you believe in a purple dinosaur in the sky, and and he he's, he's the one that tells you how to act, and you are an amazing human being. Like you treat everybody well, and everything beautiful. I don't need to believe that there's this purple dinosaur. But by God, am I happy that that that dinosaur is influencing you because it's making a great human being.

[00:20:51] And I might even sit there and go, wow, you know, maybe there's something to this dinosaur shit. All hail Barney. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe, maybe there's more to this than what I gave it credit for, you know, like, let me talk to me about this a little bit more. But like, I want to say, you know, shared values comes into play. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't make you a good person. Yeah. Like, what is really going on there? You know? Yeah. It doesn't matter. Flying spaghetti monster.

[00:21:21] Fucking Barney the dinosaur. Can you laugh at yourself or a joke? Can you laugh? Because if there's no laughter anymore, guess what? It's bleak. It's dark. You know what happened for the last four years? Nobody could laugh. It was awful. It was awful. Everybody was way too serious. And that's coming from somebody who takes everything way too seriously. Myself. I do. But man, do I know what's funny. And man, do I laugh. I love to laugh. And we have a great laugh. It's contagious. Thank you.

[00:21:52] I can't hold it back. It just is what it is. But yeah, like I, when I couldn't laugh anymore. And when I was like, really? This is this. First of all, everything's beyond parody at this point. It is, we have become the joke. Like, and it is not funny. It is literally not funny anymore. How not funny it is. Like, it is bad. Not funny.

[00:22:18] So can we get, can we get back to like, I don't know, actually being able to make things that are funny? Because we're sane and we, this would never happen. Like in real life. Like, can we switch that back? You know, because, because things got really ridiculous and cool. Like I said, I think the, the experiment is worth it. But if in experimenting and if shifting things, you go, oh, well, we tried a thing and it

[00:22:47] really wasn't making things better. Yeah. Go back, you know, go back, you know, or, or re-examine or something, but admit to yourself that you don't just keep doing the same thing, hoping for better results. That's literally crazy. Literally the definition of insanity. Yes. Yeah. That was Einstein, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Some smart person. It was Einstein.

[00:23:14] Even though maybe he might, he might've been a little crazy, but. Oh, I mean. In the best way. We all, we all. We're all mad, aren't we? Genius is on the very brink of, of insanity. I think, you know, it just kind of dances that line all the time. But yeah, like I, I think I, I'm, I'm feeling, not that this is about me, but I'm glad that

[00:23:41] we both have kind of found our way into better places, I guess is what I want to say. Sure. I still don't know what's ahead, but I feel better in, in this. Well, I feel like this, this, this, this tsunami of emotion that collectively we are all experiencing in one way or the other. Some of us have surfboards. Some of us do not.

[00:24:10] Um, I feel like this is just part of the beginning of a new wave of mass awakening when it really boils down to it. And we're experiencing a dark night of the soul, um, as a collective on a level that we've never seen before.

[00:24:40] And for those of us who have been on this journey for a while, I really feel that it's our soul's purpose and part of our duty to really assist with this in the best way that we possibly can. And sure, the paradox in that is that we are human and that we do have human emotions and we have our human experience and we are flawed as well.

[00:25:09] And it's important that we just take a deep breath, remember who we are, remember why we're here and just know that it's going to be okay. It's going to be rocky for a while. That's essential. It's definitely going to be rocky for a while. I mean, who the fuck promised you it wouldn't be? Exactly. This is human experience. This is life.

[00:25:38] This is what it is. I sat there and I watched fucking birds. Our souls decided to come here for this. I'm telling you right now, I was sitting there in a blind watching birds and squirrels and, you know, things eat the corn. No deer, because we didn't see deer. But I'm thinking to myself, wow, man, like imagine that being your life, you know, like you're just trying to put on enough weight for the winter. It's about to get freaking cold.

[00:26:06] It's about to get really cold. Yeah, we are very privileged. Right. Like, but, you know, when you think about life and you think about it's going to be okay. I mean, imagine the kind of fortitude that you have to have to be a squirrel. Honestly. Honestly. Or any of these other creatures that just, you know, you watch them and they're so, it's so cool to watch them. But you think about what they're, they face all the time.

[00:26:37] And, you know, just the other day, Rico saw the squirrel nearly get scooped up by a hawk. And he was like, the hawk was pissed. Like he was screeching. He was so mad that he missed. And the squirrels, like if he could have automated what happened, he's like, you could tell he was just like, holy crap, I almost died. That was so much real. And all the other squirrels are like, yeah. And they were like in the trees and they were all like yelling at the hawk.

[00:27:06] Like, like it was basically like, it was like that scene in like Braveheart where they all like flash the opposing army. They were all like, fuck. Like the hawk is up there going, war is all around us. Literally. No, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's one of those things where.

[00:27:37] You get so comfortable that you forget that you're comfortable. Yep. You forget what you have. Or you're so uncomfortable that you get comfortable because that's what sitting in a blind is like. That's also fair. It's a blind man. It was great. I loved it. Rico was so happy.

[00:28:04] Oh, I do think that happens a lot with people. Well, like, you know, you go, it's definitely the trauma portion of it. It's just like, you know, you know, you get like, you go through so much crap that you're like, really? Really? That's what's making you upset? Yeah. But then it's hard for you to like deescalate and realize that you're like, oh no, I was just. Yeah. I just went through a lot of trauma. Which is, you know, that's part of it too.

[00:28:30] It's like, yeah, we are very privileged and we live a very comfortable lifestyle, but there still is all that shit. But yeah, it doesn't make it any less traumatic. It's just a different, different flavor. Yeah. Yeah. It's very real no matter what it is. And then getting to the pain and the, and the fear and the anxiety that people feel right now. Like I, I, that's what I would, I really pray that we're, we're heading towards a healing of that.

[00:29:00] Like I really, I know it. I know it deep down in my soul. I know that this is just part of the process and it's going to be messy for a while, but we have to just, we have a responsibility. To. Be as loving. As we can. It's. It's. Our ability to choose. How we respond to what is happening for us. Mm hmm.

[00:29:31] Because this, even though it looks very bleak, there's a lot of stuff in the way that we do things. As a collective, as a planet. That are fucking stupid. We don't need to fucking do it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Like old ways of this oppressive top down behavior. It's fucking done, man.

[00:29:54] Like it is on its way out and we are seeing people clinging onto it for dear life when it's, it's going away. There's. We gotta, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta go somewhere new. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's time for change, man. Like I, um, but I get it. I get it. Change is not fun when it's forced on you. No, but you know what?

[00:30:23] Every single change that has been for the best in my personal lived experience was never my choice. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. It was always intervened on some sort of divine level. There was always something else that I had been resisting. Something that I didn't want to let go of that my ego was clutching to. I mean, it was my choice. I feel you in that.

[00:30:51] I was just, uh, I was broken. I was broken to having to make a decision. You know, like you said, like there was, I didn't want it to go down like that. It happened like that. Sure. Um, there was lots of choices, but, um, you know, it's just, you know, uh, you can't, you can only control your own, like you said, your own response. That's all you can control. Cause that's the thing.

[00:31:17] It's like, whether or not we have choices, we can make the best choices, but yeah, it's, there's those outside factors that we cannot choose. It's not, it's not up to us to, to figure out how, how everything's going to go down all the time. And those, all of those traumas hold a purpose in one way or the other.

[00:31:43] Every single, like, I don't know a single person who has gone through some sort of spiritual awakening that it hasn't come from trauma. Yeah. Right. And in learning to have, to recognize it, accept it for what it was, have gratitude for that trauma

[00:32:06] and learn what you need to from it in order to transmutate that into whatever you need and to become an alchemist of it. That's it. Like we're going to have trauma no matter what. It's how we, it's how it's what we do with it. That matters. Oh yeah, man. Follow you to that.

[00:32:30] I don't know what I, all I can say is that I do think that like less social media for me is probably in the future. I don't know. I mean, I agree. I want to keep podcasting, but, uh, I'm, I'm really okay with, uh, let the bodies hit the floor. I know that's fucked up, but that is when I'm looking at my Instagram followers and they're just dropping and dropping and dropping. That's all that's playing. I'm like, I'm actually gaining.

[00:32:59] It's like, I'm losing, but I'm also gaining back. Like, it's so fucking wild. I mean, granted, I feel like threads is just like gotten me like a deer in headlights these days. Dude. It has. I've seen so many good threads that I'm like, please, I don't need another app. I don't need another app. I'm not getting on threads. It's also a nightmare. No, but I would just been finding on IG.

[00:33:29] Yeah. If like, if I see a thread that comes through on the advertising pipeline and that's kind of logging me in, I just, I just find that person's Instagram and look at their feed and I make a decision from there. And if I like their feed, I go, Hey, I just lost a bunch of people. Hey, you want to be my friend? You want to follow each other? Cause I saw your thread and I'm not getting on threads. So it's either this or nothing. And it's, it's affording me.

[00:33:55] I mean, it's not been many people, but like I've, I've been saying, Hey, I'll be, I'll be a new follower on Instagram. Yeah. The social media is just fucking crazy right now. And it's like, I even wrestle with it all the time back and forth. I'm like, I don't want to fucking do this. Like, yeah, this doesn't feel authentic anymore. This feels awful. This feels manipulative. I don't like that. You know, I don't like that. 95% of the conversations I have with friends has to be through Instagram for some reason.

[00:34:25] Right. Why are we feeding Zuckerberg with our private fucking conversations? Can you fucking text me? You have my number. I've given you my number. That's why I just send funny shit. Yeah, no, honestly, I like never watch any of that shit. Cause I'm like, this is going to keep me sucked in forever. I even told Rico that he sends me fucking reels and shit all the time. I'm like, I can't. I'm not watching all of these. I'm sorry. He'll never listen. He'll just keep sending them.

[00:34:56] That's how we laugh with each other and share. We'll sit there independently. Just send each other shit. And then we'll be laughing about the shit that we're. You know what? That's a beautiful thing about social media is it does have those aspects to it, but it's like, it's about, I don't know. It's just balance. And it's so easy to get thrown off balance with it. Speaking of the devil. Speaking of. I'm on, I'm on a zoom call with DeRoy.

[00:35:27] That's what we call you. Oh, that's fair. DeRoy. That's my name. It is your name. You're like in the military. Some pseudo. Oh God. Amico. That's our, that's our, our name. Amico. Amico enlisting agency. You just, you know, now you're DeRoy. We know too many Nichols. It's okay. It's a, it's not an uncommon name. We'll put it that way. Got a lot of Nichols. Yeah, for sure.

[00:35:57] So. Yeah. Yeah. And for a while, I thought you were Delaroy. I don't know why I thought that. Yeah. I don't know either. I do that though. I add like letters in that don't, that are not a part of it. I'm just going to call you Amy Nicholas. Yeah. There you go. As retaliation. Yeah. Amy Nicholas. Whatever. I don't care. I'll, I'll answer to whatever you call me. Asshole. That works sometimes. Asshole. Sometimes. Sometimes. You know.

[00:36:27] When the shoe fits. Hey. I've definitely been there. Um. But yeah. It's just crazy. Like social media. Oh God. You know. Can't live with it. Can't live without it. Hate it. Love it. Whatever it is. I just like. At the same time. I'm like. There's still. No other better way. For me. To put out my message.

[00:36:55] To potentially reach a bunch of people. For fucking free. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. I'm going to keep fucking doing it. I'm just going to. Be as authentic as I can. Yeah. Because really that's the key. Like if you're showing up just for metrics. It's not going to fucking work out. Yeah. Like. When I hope. I hope. That. Some kind of.

[00:37:26] Balancing or reciprocity. Will happen. Between like. Like you said. The whole. Social media moguls. And how much power they have. To. Shift things. I hope there's justice there too. Because they have some serious accountability too. You know. Like. Yeah. Using censorship. And yeah. And using our information. Platforming people. Yeah. That. That. Very much so. Earned every bit of the following that they had. And. You know.

[00:37:56] I get it. You know. There. Once you start. Once you start. Like. You know. Having sponsorships. And stuff. You are. You do have to be kind of considerate. But. The way they set these things up. You don't know who's even. Who. Like. For example. On Podbean. Which. You know. If I open my. Podbean account. To. You know. Running just random ads. I don't know. I don't know who's. Who's advertising on that airtime. Or whatever. Like that.

[00:38:26] You know. They. They. You have to specifically make deals. With sponsorship. Sometimes. Sometimes. Just with. With Podbean. They just. They just. Feed in these time slots. You have a thing that you. You basically go. Do I want. Advertising. At the beginning of my podcast. Do I want it in the middle. Or do I want it at the end. And then that's where they slide in. These random. Advertisings. And. Even on a lower level. They do that at times. And so. I don't know who's. Who's on.

[00:38:57] You know. On my show. At any given time. Sometimes. The ones that I. Do in my own voice. Are the ones that I have. Basically said. No. I approve of this message. I approve of these people. Yeah. This is my recommendation. But for anybody else. That gets. You know. Put on my feed. And is running ads. You know. I don't know. I don't. I don't really listen to my own podcast. Like that. Through different. You know. Avenues. All I do is set. When they can feed that stuff in. So once you get into that space.

[00:39:26] Where you're not even aware. Of who's advertising. You know. And correlation. Yeah. That could get hairy. Yeah. And it's like. Oh. Well. You put. You put. It's like. It's like. People associate you. With these other. Yeah. Products or services. That you don't even necessarily endorse. Yeah. Well. It was. It was like that. Hearing about. Am I racist. For example. That came out of the Daily Wire. That they produced. But then they had actual. Movie presence. Like movie theaters. Were running. The movie. Movie.

[00:39:56] And so. Then you have. These. These trailers. For other films. Going up. Before. Am I racist. That is this independent thing. You know. So. If. If. And. And running ads. On different networks. And stuff. That might be ideologically. Out of alignment. And stuff like that. Like. They lose their crap. Like. They're just. I don't stand for this. It's like. Nobody sells you. It's an.

[00:40:26] Yeah man. Like. Are. Is this political. Or is it not political. Is this. You know. Are. Are you. You know. What. What is this about. Like. What is it about. Like. I don't know. I. I think it's a very interesting. I still don't want to give up on it. Because this is toxic. As it can be. I also think it's a massive. Interesting thing. To observe. And. Step back. If I got to. But like. Definitely keep looking at it.

[00:40:55] Because I think it's a massive. Like. Like you said. A mass consciousness. Just completely. Figuring itself out. And. I. I think it's exciting. It's very exciting. And I. You shouldn't take it too personally. I have. In recent years. You know. It's. It's. We're human. We're going to take things personally. From time to time. Mm-hmm. I thought it was stronger than it though. So it was a good thing to. Reach. You know what I'm saying? Like.

[00:41:25] It was good to know. It was good to know my boundaries. And. It also. Is really great to. Block people. I haven't blocked many people. I've unfriended a lot of people. Um. I've unfollowed a few people. Some I've told. Some I haven't. But it feels good. It's very freeing. I'm just like. Oh. I get this. There's nothing wrong with that. I've always been an advocate of that. Like if it's not contributing to my piece. I don't fucking want it. Yeah. For a long time. It was just kind of like.

[00:41:55] I'll friend anybody who wants to be my friend. You know. Under the. The flag of. What the word friend means. Right. And then it was. Oh. How much of a friend. Are we? What kind of friendship did you. What do you think friend means? Right. But now I don't. I don't. I don't run those. Those tests. Anymore. Because now. Like you said. I know what's about. What's my piece. And I know what's about me. And what I'm into. And I know what friendship means to me.

[00:42:24] And I don't really care. What it means to you. I know how I want to be talked to. And who I'm not going to be talked to. And any friend of mine. Isn't going to talk to me like that. So. There we go. Like. That's fine. You don't have to like me. You probably won't after this. That's cool. Right. It's very cathartic. I know. I'm. Well. And that's the other thing. I'm. Finding less and less tolerance for my own bullshit.

[00:42:53] The hell if I can handle yours. Like. I'm looking at myself real hard. But you know. It's like. That's. That's all we can do. Is take it and go inwards. That's it. Yeah. I got a lot of. No matter. No matter. No matter who's projecting what. No matter who's saying what. No matter who's blaming what. No matter who's calling you. Fucking. Nazi. Or racist. Or whatever. Fucking names that are. Fucking useless now. Because they just. Those are easy though. It's like.

[00:43:27] Have no meaning anymore. I know. It's really bad. Like you can have somebody who's actually a fucking racist. And nobody's going to even blink an eye. Well see that's why I said. I. If. If it went. If it went that way. I just wouldn't talk to anybody more. Because. Yeah. Like you said. Nothing had any meaning then. Right. Exactly. At least with this. I feel like there's hope for some semblance of reason. Because I don't feel. I guess decimated.

[00:43:56] I feel compassion. Actually. And I just don't want to drive a knife in and twist. You know. Like that's never in my heart to do. So. Like that's not even the point of it. I really want good things. So. But. But still. Like you said. Like. I. I think there's a lot of work to do. To get us back to center. And. I think. People are going to have to get really small with their groups. And they're going to have to come together. And they're going to have to isolate a little bit more.

[00:44:26] Myself included. Just to get right with. And then get strong again. So they can get back out there. And I feel that. And I. You know. I don't. I don't have. I'm not even disillusioned right now. Like I'm really happy right now. But I feel like that's needed. Um. It's good. It's really good. But it's crazy. I wish I had more. More understanding of it beyond this. But I did hear from my friend Kathy today. Who. Turned 60 recently. She said 40. My early 40s.

[00:44:57] Was probably the most pivotal and hardest. Of my life. So far. That was a very potent. Time. Time. And she said. You know. And I said. Well that's really. Great. To know. And well. And I meant it in the best way. Because it's. Of course. It's hopeful. Because she's awesome. She is amazing. Uh. She just got back from Africa. And went with her husband. And it was incredible trip. And she had such a good time. And this is a person. Every time I talk to her.

[00:45:26] We have an amazing experience. And we never have long meetings. We never have long sessions. It's just. It's just beautiful. It's like the perfect meal. Every time. And. I was like. That's really hopeful man. Like. If. If that's the case for you. And. And I'm feeling this way right now. Then that means that there's. There's hope. There's hope. That's good. I'll figure it out. I will figure it out. She's like. No. You don't want to get to 50.

[00:45:55] And still feel like that. I said. No. Dear God. No. Absolutely. Please. God. But yeah. I feel like I'm on the precipice of something. I can't give you more than that. But it is. I have made some determinations. I do think I still want to stick to the whole. Like. Just talking with you guys. I do have your cell number. I can talk to you that way. I would rather. When we can do this more often. And record it. And put it out on the apprenticeship diaries. Why not?

[00:46:24] It's a diary. And I don't get paid for. I haven't got paid for five years. Why would I expect anything different? It's either going to be awesome or it's not. I'm either going to let the bodies hit the floor. And see the numbers drop. Or they're going to go up. I don't care. You know. Yeah. It is what it is. I'm just going to keep doing it. And I might actually start writing an actual journal too. So. That's a goal. Journaling is nice. It's super helpful for me. I always think about when all this tech stuff stops. You know. Like.

[00:46:55] Yeah. If an EMP drops. You know. And all of this is lost. There's going to be. People are deluded to think that the numbers that we have now are going to remain. People are going to turn on each other real quick. There's going to be a massive death. That's going to happen. And. You know. Because. Because so many things are. Like. Automated by technology. You know. You can't drop. Half of our. Most of our cars. Are now.

[00:47:25] Susceptible to those things. Most of our gas systems. Our nuclear power plants. Are. Are run off of. A lot of. There's going to be massive death. So when you have massive death of people. Who. Would know. How to run the technology. Then you're not going to have the technology anymore. And then you're just going to have these blocks of things. That have all this. Information potential in them. That you can't access. Should this occur. This is a big. Should it occur. Yeah. I would like to. Not.

[00:47:56] Live on that timeline. I would like that too. But it should. It should it happen. Even if I don't live on that timeline. I think about. I think about. The art. That still remains. From places. Where. They did things by hand. Yeah. And the journals. And. And the reminences. The Dead Sea Scrolls. These things that can actually persist. Right. Past human. You know. For centuries. Past humans. And.

[00:48:25] And that's what the thing about tangible. Absolutely. Art and creation really is. You know. I think about that way beyond me. Yeah. I don't want to experience that either. But like. Leaving a mark behind. You know. Leaving something. For people. For people. To study. To study. Or to grow from. Or to be impacted from. That I do. My ego wants that. I just want that. I know. I don't. I don't expect much fame. I don't even need it to be contributed to me. Right.

[00:48:55] If nothing else. Just for people to go. Whoa. This is really cool. Yeah. That humans did this. You know. You know. This is cool. I would like that. Because it's. That's a wonderful thing. Those are the things that get me like. Turned up. So. I'd love to leave. Totally. It's important. Mm-hmm. It's really important. Because. What good is art? If nobody can continue to enjoy it. Or any information. Or anything.

[00:49:25] Yeah. You know. Like. If books are all digital. And they don't get printed. Yeah. I like never. I refuse to buy a book. That's not a book. Yeah. Yeah. I have a. I have a shit ton of books. That I haven't read yet. That I intend to read. And should that day happen. In our lifetime. I have a library. Of knowledge. To catch up on. So. You know. I'll be fine. You know. Totally. Yeah. It'll be good. It's not going to happen. We're going to be fine.

[00:49:56] I mean. Whatever. Hey babe. Hey. Say hi. Hello. Hello. What are you eating? What are you eating? The. The barley stuff. Did you. Did you kill a deer? No. I barely hunted today. Because. We split up a shit ton of. Wood for sale. Are you finding it hard to eat your soup. Without a. Surface? Yes. I don't think you thought this through.

[00:50:25] Fucking wild. I got us. Steaks. You got us steak. I got. I got one. Out on my cutting board. Marinating. And then the other. I put it in the fridge. But I need something now. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. I got my blind at like 430. Three minutes after getting into my blind. A fucking like small buck comes by. My ass wasn't even warm in the seat yet. I was like. The fuck? Wow. Wow. They were cutting wood today. That was. We cut up two trees. And split up two trees. We've got a. You know. A little fence area. We've got a shit ton of wood over there.

[00:50:55] A couple cords already. And then my cat joins us. Hello kitty. Everybody's. Everybody's saying hi. I know both your animals like came into the picture for a second. Oh yeah. That'll happen. Zippo's passed out next to me on the couch. Aw. The babies. Yeah. We went for a hike today. So he's like napping. Nicole. We gotta. We gotta figure out a way that Zippo can come. In our travels. If we meet up. Yeah. Yes. For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:25] We definitely can figure that out. He's a sweet boy. I'm sure. He very much is. Yeah. You look a boy. Yeah. It was hard this time leaving my animals. They do fine without me. But they. They. They're getting older. So. Yeah. I always worry about them so much when I'm not there. I'm like oh please god. Don't let anything happen. Right. Let me be there. I felt so much for Saga and Heather. Going back. Their poor puppy. Yeah. He.

[00:51:54] Apparently it was a. Did you read about that? No. So it was their sitter. Their sitter did not listen to their instructions about their dog. And kept. First of all they let him defecate himself. He was a 16 year old dog. That had a lot of life still left in him. But he had issues that had very strict instructions. To which she didn't listen to any of them. She didn't pick him up by his chest.

[00:52:24] Where the majority of like his muscles and. And you know. Stability kind of stuff. Where she kept picking him up by his hips. It fucked up his whole hips. It completely set his back out of alignment. They ended up having to put him down. I mean. I think it's just unfortunate. When that. That happens. But they. They. They. They had a. A list of stuff that. They had left her with. That they thought they were clear with. And she didn't do it.

[00:52:55] Well I'm glad. Everything seems to be going in a great. Great way for you too. That's awesome. You had a. Yeah. Quite the experience. Are you. Are you. We can have it be another podcast. Because I know that. It just happened. But are you in a space where. You want to. Unload anymore about your. Where you came from. Or like give a. Give a little bit of like. Word to the wise. Before you were at this lovely street shop. Of Ascension. Jesus Christ.

[00:53:25] Oh man. I don't even. Yeah. No. That was just wild. I don't even. I don't even know. Well. And it's probably good. To not say anything. Until you know. Moving on. Unburdened by what has been. Yeah. I'm trying to just not. Give energy to it. At this point. Um. Yeah. Just because like. I just don't want. I just. Yeah.

[00:53:55] I just want to wash my hands of that. That was just some sort of bullshit. Mm-hmm. That was very. Very. Very. Very childish. Yeah. Yeah. It was. It was. Well. Just so everyone knows. Um. Nicole got herself out of like a. Praise God. A really. Awful situation. And now she's in a better one. So that's good. It's really good. You had a run of it man.

[00:54:25] Like. Dude. From like. Start to finish. 2020. Being when you started to tattoo. Oh my god. Don't remind me. It was awful. We have a recording of it. So it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. You were able to process it once we were. Once we were. I think like. A year or two. Past it. Yeah. A little process it. Yeah. But there's been a lot that's happened since then. It's just been. Yeah. My life has just been. A crazy ride. But.

[00:54:55] Yep. You know. I am just. I just don't have any expectations anymore. That's usually when good things come. Or not. I mean sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes it's too open. I don't know. That was my one. My one. Critique is like. Don't be too open. You know. Yeah. Get shit in writing. Get shit in writing. But then it's like. And fucking tattooing. Like.

[00:55:25] It's true. It's so fucking hard to get that done. Yeah. Because you're dealing with personalities. Oh. You don't want to fucking do that. Yeah. It's hurting cats man. And then you're like. It's hurting cats. Okay. Well I'm just trying to. You know. Cover my ass. Yeah. Make sure we're good. Yep. But you don't want to do this. Yeah. So then what am I going to do? I got to work somewhere. You know. Yeah. Like. Again. I'm in a situation. I don't. I don't have anything in fucking writing.

[00:55:56] Yep. I mean. But you've already done a lot of what I've. I've never done. Which is move. Cross country. Which is really cool. Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm really excited to like plant some roots here. And like. You know. It's super interesting. Because. Initially with this last spot. The. The empty promise. Was to take it over. And run it myself.

[00:56:29] Whatever. And. You know. I'm just like looking at this from a new perspective. That if that had actually happened. Because. I'm not done traveling. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just be fucking honest. I'm not done traveling. Yeah. Well. I mean. There's no saying that you can't travel. When you have your own thing. It's just. No. It's just a lot harder. And. You have a lot more responsibility. And then. Especially if you end up hiring people.

[00:56:57] Then you have a lot more to manage with that. And. I'm seeing a new perspective. On. The. Ability to have more freedom. With not owning. And. To rush it. Yeah. Yeah. It'll happen when it's supposed to. I still have a grand vision. Yeah. Maybe that'll change. I know some boss ladies. Man. That are freaking paragons. Lita Edwards is one of them. Like. She is.

[00:57:27] Just takes it on the cheek. Man. She's really cool. I want to get her on the show. Because she recently got her. Her number. Like a nurse number. Like it's basically a. Where you can file. And get compensation. From insurance. Companies. Because she's been doing. Yeah. Yeah. She's. Reconstructive stuff. Uh-huh. So she finally can enter that space. And start educating. Nurses. And people who. You know. Are in. In these worlds. Because these women. You know. On top of.

[00:57:57] Needing to have. You know. The breast augmentation. Because of cancer. And all this stuff. They end up with these. Crappy nipple tattoos. That these doctors do. Right. So it's like. Insult on injury. Yeah. Exactly. Like they're not. But. So she wants to start teaching them. That's great. How to actually do it. And she can now. Like because she's in that space. I really want to interview her. And get more about that. And I. I hope I didn't talk about it. Incorrectly right now. But. I'm. I'm really excited for her. Because. And I'm excited for that. Because.

[00:58:27] What you know. People who have been hurt. Like that. Don't. They shouldn't. Get hurt anymore. You know. No. For sure. I think that's really. Fucking awesome. Yeah. And they're paying good money. And there's a lot of money. Put into it. That there should be quality. At the end of it. And for people who do. Do quality. Work. They should get the money. Totally. I'm really excited for her. No. That's fantastic. Yeah. That's amazing. I know. I'm excited. Revolutionary. We love this. Right. Isn't that cool?

[00:58:57] Yeah. It's really cool. I mean. I don't know what's ahead. Within. But she's the first. She's the first to ever. Have that happen. So I'm excited. Excuse me. On top of that. She. You know. She can leave her shop. You know. Like she. Has good people there. They. They treat each other like family. You know. They're really there for each other. Yeah. Which is great. But then you know. Building something like that. Takes a lot of time. Oh yeah. She definitely did that. Yeah.

[00:59:26] Takes a lot of time. Takes a lot of effort. Takes a lot of dedication. Yeah. Takes a lot of being there. I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just. I'm just realizing that. I. I'm not in a rush. Yeah. Yeah. And like. Especially knowing now that. This guy over here. Can't really deal with a sitter. Yeah. Hey. That was an interesting. My other loves the road. So. Yeah.

[00:59:56] That was an interesting. Thing that Derb. Derb put up. Do animals belong in tattoo shops? And I said. Well. Here's the thing. If we're going by the standards. Of like restaurants. Then that's a hard no. Because they don't even allow. Like aquariums. So. Even though you've seen them in restaurants. That's not okay. They're not supposed to have them. That's a big no-no. So. You know. If we're going by those standards. No.

[01:00:25] But. If we're. If we're going by. I don't know. Their service animals. They're just as much animals. But. They're. Something that. You know. You have to kind of make room for. More. There's. You can't discriminate. About. About those things. So you have to. You have to come to some kind of. Arrangement. Within those two paradigms. Whatever they may be. My whole thing is like. I don't really want. I don't really want the government. In my shit.

[01:00:53] I'd rather things be a case-by-case basis. Honestly. No. I agree. Yeah. I really have. I've met animals that are. Really. Well disciplined. Well behaved. They know how to lay. They know how to sit. They know how to. You know. Just chill out. They're happy when they're with their owner. That's it. That's all they need. They don't need anything else. And. They've been lovely. I've had them sit right. You know. They're right outside the door. As long as they can make eye contact. And they know where their owner is. It's fine.

[01:01:22] And I've had other ones where like. I mean. I'm able to segregate my space. So that. You know. Animals are able to stay outside. And you know. Whatever. Their hair. We're good. You know. Like it's just. For sure. You know. Yeah. I mean. I think. I think I'm. I'm way more adamant against flies. Than I am anything. And they're like. Oh my god.

[01:01:51] To keep out of your shop. In the world. They drive me insane. Oh my god. So. The. The shop that. Blew up. Uh huh. She had a fucking fly problem. And I kept saying like. Hey. Can we do something about this? Yeah. Yeah. Can we do something about this? Yeah. And she wouldn't fucking do anything about it. She. Oh well you know. They're gonna. They're gonna die soon. Anyways.

[01:02:21] And I'm like. That doesn't make me feel better. When they're landing on my fucking client. When I'm tattooing them. And then trying to land on my eyes. And my face. And like my mouth. And stuff. Like. And it's like a huge. Can we get a trap? In the very least? Yeah. Can we get anything? No. I don't really want to spend money on that. She wouldn't even fucking buy a printer. I had to buy my own fucking printer. Whoa. Dude. Yeah. This is. This is a shit storm. We have to have a whole other podcast for. I'm sure. Oh.

[01:02:52] I'm gonna be failing at the mail. I do want that. I do want that. I do want that. And anonymity is a good thing. Because. Yes. Jesus Christ. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I was. Just me asking for recommendations for a small business lawyer.

[01:03:39] She was. Freaking. Freaking. They are nuts. Man. Like. They will go. They will make your life hell. And. Like. What? What? Just happened here? Yeah. So. I'm just trying to keep it. Mm-hmm. Out. Yeah. In the past. Yeah. I feel you. Yeah. I feel you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:04:08] Yeah. Damn it. Yeah. You know. No. Yeah. Eventually. We'll get to the point where it'll be like. Everybody's moved on. Who cares? You know. Exactly. It'll just be for posterity. Yeah. Don't. Don't do this. Basically. Yeah. But you know. Don't. Go work for someone. Across the country. Without guest spotting. Yeah. And when you ask them. Should I come guest spot? So we make sure we vibe. And they say. No. It's. We'll be just fine.

[01:04:38] Don't believe that. I think that's a good PSA. Go do the guest spot. Mm hmm. Yeah. Just because you're in a desperate situation. And you're going through a lot. And you got to get out of the place you're living in. It did get you to Sedona though. It did. And you know what? And I know that that's. That was. What I needed. Because where I am now. Was originally the first place I applied to. Oh yeah.

[01:05:06] And when I went to chat with him. He was like. Yeah. I wouldn't have ever just like hired you. From across the country like that. Not knowing like. How you were going to be in person. And I was like. Interesting. Why? Because that's what she did. Right. That's probably wise. Yeah. Didn't think about it from the other side of the. The paradigm. Yeah. And so he's like. Yeah. You know. I got the space. You can come work here. I'm like. Okay. Great. And it's been awesome.

[01:05:37] It all worked out. It all worked out. Praise God. And he's already a very transparent person. He's been running shops for 25 years. He does not fuck around. That's awesome. That's really cool. He does not fuck around. That's really cool. Did. Did. Does anybody else there know about paradise? Or have any. Aspirations to come? I mean. I was talking about it with the other. One of the other. The other artists who works there with us. And.

[01:06:05] It was funny because it was like. You know. I was only there for a week. Yeah. Before going to paradise. And. He was like. Oh. You're really inspiring me to do stuff like this again. Oh my gosh. That's what paradise does. He's like. Super cool. Oh. That's really cool that you're doing that. Oh. I feel like we should do a convention. Oh. Da da da da da da. I'm like. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No. Totally. I mean. It might be. Very well be.

[01:06:35] That you break off from us. And you get your own cabin with your own crew. At some point. You know. Like. Just you all travel together. Condo crew for life. Oh. I mean. I'm. I'm down with that. Because. I don't have a crew. I don't have a crew. Except for what I make of my own. I'm just saying that like. Like when you. I think the way that you travel with. Your shop. Is you do just that. You travel with your shop. You. You don't leave your shop. Your shop comes with you. Right. You know.

[01:07:05] I don't necessarily. I don't necessarily see that being the thing. But who knows. It could be. Yeah. Cool. But no. Condo crew for life. Condo crew for life. We had the best condo. I don't know. I didn't see too many other people's condos. But I think. I mean. I didn't go to any of the other condos on the crawl. Because ours was where it was at. I went to Gunner's downstairs. I didn't go down there. Yeah. I should have just went downstairs. Just to check. Our was better though. I feel. I'm sorry Gunner. They had great people down there.

[01:07:35] It was nothing against the people. Our just our condo was better. Of course not. No. For sure. Even Gunner said so. He was hanging out with us at the end of the night. He was like. Shit. You guys got a real fireplace. I know. He was like. I'm digging these ceilings. Fucking awesome. Yeah. I think he was kind of like. We had the better condo. Yeah. We did. The vaulted ceilings. The active fireplace. Admittedly.

[01:08:03] Our condo was really the best. Because it was above his. Because. We had. No. Just because we had. The benefit of being right above him. Russ Abbott. And all the people from. You know. Yeah. Russ Abbott shop. It was. Yeah. Ink and Dagger. It was great. Like I was like. That made this the best. Yeah. It was pretty sweet. I know. I was in a few seminars. From there too. And like. They were like. Yeah. We have permanent guest. Guest stations. Come guest anytime. I'm like. Fuck yeah.

[01:08:33] That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. That would be a fun place to come to. That was really fun. I had fun. Yeah. I haven't been to Georgia. I've passed through. But I haven't like visited. So. Same. Yeah. Same. I. It seems like a sweet place. Yeah. I like peaches. Love peaches. Peaches come from a can. They were built there by mail. In a factory deck.

[01:09:05] I just thought. I was getting. I was digging it. Where's the guitar? Peaches. Peaches for me. Millions of peaches. Peaches for free. Millions of peaches. Peaches for free. I'll take some now. I'll take some now. Peaches for free. Exactly. In case anyone's wondering what it's like to get tattooed by me. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I like that.

[01:09:35] I like that. That's cool. I was like randomly breaking out into song and just being a goofball. That's me. That's better than me. I. All right. I'm back. It's happened too many times. I think it's the chord. Yeah. But. I just. I like make weird sounds. I don't know the lyrics half the time. So I'm just like. Like. Skibbity. I'm like weird scatting. Like weird. I love it. Skibbity.

[01:10:04] Like. That whole like Minecraft thing. What is it? Skibbity. These kids say now. Is it? Skibbity. Skibbity. I don't know. Anything about it. But I just fucking see it everywhere on the internet. Oh. Interesting. I don't know. Something about Skibbity. Skibbity. Oh. Skibbity toilet. Skibbity toilet. That's what it is. No. I know that did not clear anything up. And I get you. I get you. It's.

[01:10:34] It's a. I'm too old for this shit. You really are. And once you know what it is. It's not going to get better. I heard about this. So a client of mine. Her boys watch Skibbity toilet. On YouTube. And it's this YouTube thing. It's. It's apparently. When I watched a little bit of it. That I. It's a talking head. In a toilet.

[01:11:03] And it's pretty dark looking. As far as I can tell. But it's like a. It's like a. Militant looking guy. With a helmet on. Head. Floating in the toilet. And they sing songs. And. It's Skibbity toilet. And so. Apparently. Her friend. Uh. Watches it. Because she. Is in a conservative. Um. Like environment. Like she. She. She's a.

[01:11:35] A record. Like a. What do you call them? Like a. Like an. An agent of the courts. Like she basically does like. Uh. The filing systems. And. And the. The reporting for court systems. Okay. She's in like. She's in this like sterile environment. You can't just watch anything. But you. You can. If it's like. Not controversial. And not disruptive. She watches Skibbity toilet. Because it's not. Like. It's not. Controversial. And she's like. Well what better way.

[01:12:04] To like. You know. Kind of inform. What. Because I know. My friend isn't watching this. With her kids. Like not to this extent. Then I'm going to watch it. Just so I can talk to them. And so that I can relate to them. And so that I can make sure. That what they're watching. Isn't like. Really messed up. And so. She watches it. And she's like. A Skibbity toilet expert. She's like. She's like. I wish I could tell you about it. But you just have to get into it. You just have to. I'm like. That's never going to happen. That's never going to happen. My god.

[01:12:35] But yeah. Skibbity toilet. That's what it is. If you. If you search it on YouTube. You'll have some kind of point of reference. But there's like. Like all these episodes of it. So you're not. I mean unless. You get into it. I don't know. I don't know how. Much it captures. Yeah. I have no idea. I don't know. But it strikes me as like Barney. Or any other. You know. Like the. Whatever. What were they called? The. Shoot. I want to say the toodles.

[01:13:05] It's not the toodles. Teletubbies. The Teletubbies. Oh god. Teletubbies. All. All these things. That you're just like. What? What are you watching? But now it's skibbity toilet. Yeah. Yeah. In the fucking toilet. Yeah. Now that's. That's. Now you know. That's what it is. Skibbity. Skibbity toilet. So that's that. Yep. And it proliferates through. Even to like the teenage level. Because they're. They're. Like. You know. Accepting parts of it.

[01:13:36] Good lord. That's another reason why I like tattooing. Because I don't have kids. But my clients have kids. And then they can tell me. About what the kids are doing these days. And then the kids tell me. When I get access to them. Whether or not. Get kids anymore. Right. But they're still young enough. To like be like. What? It. That is kind of a neat. Way to stay. Not relevant. Because I'm not relevant. But just stay aware. Ooh. Yeah. That is pretty cool. Yeah.

[01:14:06] Yeah. Because I don't. I don't plan. Personally. I don't plan on having any kids. I mean. Unless somebody gives me one. It's like. Here. Take it. You need. You need to raise this now. It's now your job. I don't know how this is going to happen. But unless that happens. I don't think they're just handing out kids, Amy. No. But. You know. If one gets laid to my. You know. At my doorstep. If I come out. And there's a baby there. And it says. Please take me in. I'm not going to deny. Sure. The calling. That's fair.

[01:14:36] Yeah. Probably the right thing to do. Yeah. You know. Like. I'll. You don't leave the baby on the stoop. I'll stand to the challenge. Of it. Um. But I don't plan on having them. So this is the only way. It's the only way I'm going to stay relevant. Um. Yeah. At all. Fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. I'm too old. Otherwise. You think you're too old. It's worse. It's worse.

[01:15:05] They do a lot of things. A lot of things you never imagined. Just wait. It's fine. It's real crazy. Oh. Well. Is there. Uh. So. What. Um. Before we end. Is there. What do you want to shout out? You're going to be doing more lives. Uh. You're in a walk-in shop called. Ascension. Ascension. Tattoo. Yeah. Ascension Tattoo. Yeah. I do take appointments. Do take appointments. Yep. Take appointments. I uh. I do.

[01:15:36] As far as I know. I am the only person in Sedona. Blending a. Um. Energy work and tattoo experience. Oh. Right on. Fantastic. Yeah. That's really really cool. And um. I do. Prefer a ceremonial approach. But you know. Not having my own space. Does have its limitations. Mm. Um. But I do still offer intuitive work. Um. Where we can use divination tools. To. Help.

[01:16:05] Assist with. Coming up with imagery for your tattoo. And. Infusing Reiki into that tattoo. So that it just. Amplifies that portal. That's getting put into your skin. And. It's been really profound. Um. Um. I've actually been doing her entire throat chakra. Um. Where she's had. A lot of repressive throat wounds. Throughout her entire life. And difficulty speaking. From. Um.

[01:16:35] Undiagnosed ADHD. Most of her life. If I'm remembering correctly. Um. Um. And. It's really kind of cool. Seeing her develop her voice after this. Oh. Very cool. Yeah. That's awesome. It's been pretty powerful. It's awesome. Um. Yeah. It's been a project. It's literally flower of life. From the collar. Up to her chin. Oh wow. That's beautiful. With the. The vashuda. Right in the center. Where the chakra is. Um. Yeah. It's cool. That's awesome.

[01:17:10] Because I've done two sessions. With her already. Nice. And we have like one more to go. Fantastic. Oh that'll be awesome. Can't wait to see it. That'd be beautiful. And you know what? It's just perfect. Because. This beautiful bay window. You see the red rocks. Right out the back window. It's right there. I'm glad you have a window. Yeah. No the windows are so nice. It's so nice. It's such a good space. I wish I had a window. It's such a good space. And so it's like. You know. I'm able to. Assist people in this way.

[01:17:40] From the energetic perspective. And through the sacred art of tattoo. All combined into one. In this beautiful space. That's pretty cool. Healing vortex. Of energy. That is Sedona. It's just wild. It's so cool. I've heard good things. I've never been. But I've heard good things. You gotta come. Come visit. I do. I need. I need to come and visit. That would be really fun. Our. Our. Our weekend or something. That'd be fun. Yeah. It'd be really cool. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:18:09] I'm in for it. There's great plein air painting out here. I know. You did a beautiful painting. Beautiful. Beautiful painting. When you first visited on your road trip. So. Yeah. I did another one. Probably about a month and a half ago. As well. I've been mostly just like getting out. And like doing hiking. But now I'm like starting to scout. Places that I can go and sit and do it. Nice. Yeah. I'm like. Hey, that's essential.

[01:18:39] That's a good one. You guys got some critters there. That you gotta be conscientious of. You know. Yeah. Most of. Most of them generally keep to themselves. That's good. I haven't seen any rattlers. I mean. The scorpions only come out at night. Yeah. That's. That's what I'm talking about. Like you gotta be. The black widows only come out at night. It's good to know. Well, I'm just saying. Like, you know. You gotta. You gotta time it correctly. You don't want to be caught after dark. No. No.

[01:19:08] You don't want to be caught after dark in the desert. Yeah. The. It was really funny. The tarantulas come out for mating season in September. Oh, wow. Wow. And they'll like come out around dusk. And just like kind of like. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of cool. So I was at like one of. One of the parks in Sedona. Where they host like ecstatic dance every week. Which is super fun. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And like. Yeah. There's just like tarantulas walking on the path. Like.

[01:19:36] As I was walking back to the car. Wow. They're cute. They're harmless. I mean. They seem like you don't mess with them. They won't mess with you. Kind of thing. They're harmless. Yeah. They're not going to hurt anybody. Yeah. They're just like. We're just chilling. Yeah. We had a. That's how I met Derb. Like really kind of had a conversation with him. One. My client got kicked out of. It was. I hadn't tattooed him. I had tattooed him already. But he wanted a second day.

[01:20:05] And he ended up getting himself kicked out. Of Hell City. Arizona. And so that was. And so. I met with Derb. And like the people who like. Escorted him out. And I was like. Oh crap. And I forget the exact thing. But I was like. Well. Now you're going to remember me. Because. My client just got removed from your place. And. There was something about like. Having to forget his stuff.

[01:20:34] Like his stuff was inside. And they wouldn't let him come back in. Like you know. I'm getting kicked out. I think because he wasn't willing to pay. For the weekend pass. Or something. And. And. He had. Like he had left. His stuff in there. And then come out. And then they wanted to see his. His reason for being in there. And he didn't have any proof. That he was. Supposed to be a part of the show. And I think. That's why. And I'm getting kicked out. Because he got really mad. But anyway. It became this whole thing. And then.

[01:21:05] They do these epic after parties. After the convention. Which are really great. But. I think one of the guys. Got kind of like semi drunk. And then stung by a scorpion. Oh God. And it was like. The whole. Hullabaloo. And. We were all there. And witnessing it. And so Dave. Dave Durb. Was hearing about it. From me. Because. We were all kind of pondering. And I said. Oh no. There was a guy. Who got stung by a scorpion. He's like.

[01:21:35] Get the hell out of here. I said. Yeah. It was a little one. So instead of going to the emergency room. He didn't want to deal with all that. So he just went to sleep. And then. Slept it off. And apparently. He was fine. Oh God. He just felt a lot. The babies are actually more poisonous. Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't have any discretion. On how much venom to release. Yeah. They don't have enough life experience. I said. Well that was a choice. And he said. He didn't get. He just got. He felt a little sick. But that was it. And then slept it off. I mean.

[01:22:04] That's the thing. It's like. For the most part. If you get stung by a scorpion. It's going to fucking hurt. And it's going to suck for a little while. But you're going to be okay. Yeah. And that's what he said. He was like. I don't know. I didn't want to go to the emergency room. Unless you're like. Extremely like. Immunocompromised. And like. Have all these issues. And stuff like that. Same thing with black widows. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you're like. A real little kid. You know. Yeah. That's the only way. Either small or older. Or. Compromised. Yeah. Then you got to worry. But you still should. Seek medical attention.

[01:22:33] It can still get infected. You know. Yeah. For sure. Even if the actual bite doesn't hurt you. Getting. Yeah. Random particles in there. Can still happen. Yeah. Especially if you're staying in a hotel. That's not your house. And you don't have first aid. Honestly. But you know. We're wild tattoo artists. Man. We ride at dawn. Yeah. No. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. All that's happening.

[01:23:05] And then. Are you still doing. Your separate. You have. You have two. Instagram pages. Right. Do you still have your other one? Yeah. I don't really. It's too much. Yeah. It is. It's a lot. I also. I also have been toying. I've been like. Kind of rebranding that anyways. A little bit. I came up with a better name. Cool. But. We'll wait on that one. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. I just like. It's. It's.

[01:23:35] It's too much right now. I'm like. I have. I have. Another account. With the new name. But it's kind of just a placeholder. For the future. Right on. Whatever that holds. So. Fantastic. That's cool. So. And. Do you prefer. How do you prefer to be contacted for work? So. I have. I usually just like. Do consultations. So. Either through email. You can email me at. Nicole. DeRoy. Tattoos. At gmail.com. Or.

[01:24:05] You can get a direct link. To my consultation. Booking form. From my website. Nicole. DeRoy. Dot com. I do have a booking page on there. That goes through all of those details. Nice. I do recommend that. Just like as a. Even if you work at a shop. It's always good to have. Your own website. And things like that. Oh yeah. I've had my own website. Since. I was pursuing music. Yeah. Yeah. That's my name. So I kept it. So I've had.

[01:24:34] I've had this website. Since 2012. That's awesome. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. So it's pretty well established. Which is nice. That's wonderful. Um. Yeah. So yeah. Just go to my website. NicoleDeRoy.com. Um. Anything and everything. You need to know is on there. Very cool. I love it. And you can book a consultation. Without having to even ask me. Nice. I love that. I love that. I love it. I just try to make it easy. Like the less steps. The better. Yep. Because it's like.

[01:25:04] I had. An inquiry form on my website. And then I would be like. Okay. Well now let's have a consultation. I'm like. Why would I do that? That's just. Just too much. Yeah. It's like. I don't need an inquiry form. To tell you to have a consultation. So I'm going to make you have a consultation anyways. So let's just cut to the chase. Let's have a fucking consultation. We'll sit down. We'll chat. I can do it in person. I can do it over Zoom. I know a lot of people travel out here. So. Very accommodating for that. And uh. Yeah. That's awesome. Mine was always like a.

[01:25:34] A control thing about. Uh. Making sure I just didn't have a litany of consultations. And then a wall of bookings. To where. We had talked about all these things. But now people couldn't get in. So. Like. I kind of like stagger it. So it's like. Fill out. Like a request form. Then I'll send you a link to make a consultation. As we're ready to take on more work. And I kind of pace it that way. Because otherwise it gums it up. But.

[01:26:03] It works until it doesn't. You know what I'm saying? Sure. Like. And then. You know. Um. But I. I like. I agree with you. The more ease that you can give your clients. Just to work with you. The better. Um. Because my process has kind of gotten to that too. Just being like. Here. Have a consultation. It's always going to be a consultation. You know it's always going to be a consultation. If you have my link already. Book a consultation. Just. Absolutely. Just. I always want to talk to you about it. Just book it. Like. Yeah.

[01:26:33] I just feel like. You know. I feel like them filling out the inquiry form. And then me having to respond to them. Is taking just as much time. As it would for me to sit and have a chat with them. Mm-hmm. And if it's not a good fit. I'll know that within a couple minutes. It's not going to take a lot of time. Oh yeah. So. And they will too. Yeah. Or it'll. It'll be something where. You know. You got to cast them back out. And they have to gather more information. Right. Exactly. Which is fine. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. That's.

[01:27:02] I like consultations. Because at the very least. You leave with something. It might not be the tattoo. But it might be something that you're like. Oh. Now I know how to better go about getting my tattoo. So that's good. Yeah. Absolutely. It's always good. Yeah. Well my friend. This has been fun. Sorry it was squirrely. And all over the place. But that's kind of. You know. We didn't really have an agenda. We were just kind of leaving it up to. The universe. Whatever. Yeah. It was fun though. That's fun.

[01:27:32] The Rico sagas. The Rico sagas. Well. We'll remove. We'll have. Be its own little. Little thing. I'll make it clean. If it gets included. Oh lord. Maybe I'll just have. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No. Yeah. Just go ahead. Oh. I was going to say. Maybe just if I put out a video. Or anything of clips. It'll just be like him eating soup. Well. I love you. This has been wonderful. Thank you for. Always. You know.

[01:28:02] Just being a support system. And a good friend. Of course. Yeah. You're awesome. Yeah. Okay. Diary listeners. That wraps it. With our time. With Nicole. Now. This podcast. I tried to keep around. An hour and a half. I didn't really understand. How long. We had. Because I knew. Rico had joined us. At some part. Of this time. And I really couldn't. Remember. How long. He stuck around. So.

[01:28:32] If you would like the podcast. To end. At this part. Go ahead. It's gonna. It's gonna go into. The exit. All that stuff. God bless you. Thank you so much. For hanging in. Thanks so much. For listening. To Nicole and I. And. Our reflections. Our feelings. It was a very casual. Casual kind of. Conversation. So it wasn't. I think there were some nuggets. There. That were pretty cool. But. If you would like.

[01:29:02] To. To continue. After. The exit. Music. And. Whatever. There will be some outtakes. That are of Rico. Of Nicole and I. I personally found funny. It was hard to. Think of deleting them. And just removing them. I. I kind of like those things. At the end of the film. So if you would like. To continue. To listen to the podcast. Afterwards. Just for some little nuggets. Go ahead. But you.

[01:29:31] You have reached the end. And we thank you. And we have gratitude. Have a powerful week. And. I'll catch you next week. God willing. Bye everybody. Thanks for listening. You can find the Apprenticeship Diaries. On Twitter. Facebook. And Instagram. Our IG is. The underscore. Apprenticeship. Underscore Diaries. If you would like to offer. Constructive criticism. Or an interview. Drop us an email at.

[01:30:00] The Apprenticeship Diaries. At gmail.com. We look forward to hearing. From our listeners. Well there's Rico. He's home. Your fellow Taurus. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Baby.

[01:30:30] Mm-hmm. Oh damn. It's got like closed captions. I wonder if it even picked up. What the hell I was saying. I wonder if it even picked up. What the hell I was saying. Pretty good. What is this? A podcast interview? Or are you all just chatting? It's a podcast. Yes. You're invading our podcast. Nice. Cool. He's happy-go-lucky. He's skipping on a cloud. Nothing's changing over here with Rico. No. Never. Never.

[01:31:00] He is unmovable. He is consistent. It's that Taurus energy for you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. He's an oak. Oh my God. Yeah. He can't seem to spot a deer. He spots lots of them. It's just not when he's there. We're able to shoot them. I know. True.

[01:31:30] I've already told him. I said, you know, I'm not listening to you anymore. You're too bipolar. I can't hear your inner stuff anymore. I'm just going to let it be white noise. He's like, babe, I've got to tell you or else I'm just going to be silent in the mad. That's why you were falling asleep. No. Maybe. What? The silence. I was telling Nicole about how I fell asleep in the blind. And I didn't, I don't know if I told you fully. I take naps all the fucking time in the blind. Well, that's what I said. That's what I told her.

[01:32:00] You're passing the fuck out. But I was cold, but I was really comfortable. And like the whole thing was very soothing. And what I was doing was doing these small like micro movements just to keep warm and to stay present with my body. You gotta call that shivering. No, no, it wasn't shivering. Shivering is different. No, it was like wiggling my toes and rubbing my fingers together just enough to like to stay warm.

[01:32:28] And it's kind of like when you come out of corpse pose when you're doing yoga where they say like start moving your fingers again and stuff like that. But I was just doing that continually. And it was like, it was lolling me to sleep. It was just like, I was like, this is nice. It's just passing out. And when I got home, I was out, man. Like I was, I grounded so much that I was like, I feel great.

[01:32:57] He's like, Nicole's going live. And I was like, I can't. I'm going go. Can't show up for her. It's fine. It was just fine. I'm sure I was fine. How was it? It was good. You know, I was so I'm like prepping a painting. So I was just like getting all the pencil marks and stuff on the canvas. Are you going to do more of that in the future? That's awesome. That's great. Yeah.

[01:33:28] I was like, oh, you know, I called it was like, let's stop the doom scroll. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like that. At least when you're on there, you're doing some productive. Yeah. You made a great little painting when you're a few. We have we have your one your one little little guy that you did. He's hanging up. Yeah. I was trying to steal your painting. Yeah. He's trying to. No, no. That was at my station at work. Good. It's a great one. It's really good. Yeah. I was really proud of that hawk baby. Yeah.

[01:33:56] Hawks are very spiritual to me. It was beautiful. It was great. Yeah, they're definitely one of my one of my animal guides for certain. Mm hmm. Yeah. I saw one fucking completely take a shit hunting. Not like literal shit, but like, no, there was like telling squirrels on the fucking corn pile. And this motherfucker swoops in. I was like, holy shit. And then he's flying away. I'm like, how the fuck you missed there? I'm like, dude, you could have like close your eyes and grab one of those assholes. But then all the squirrels were like on high alert. You can see one of them.

[01:34:26] One of them was like, I almost died. I almost died. This is it. Didn't I just tell that story? But it was like, I love hearing both his and my version. Very different. Very different. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't call it him taking a shit.

[01:34:52] It's funny how I think you emulate or you take the position of the shot as a hawk more and like, just like, bro, the hell the hell did you miss that? He's always doing that with his buddies whenever they miss a shot. He's like, the hell the hell's wrong with you? Whereas I miss quite often where I'm like mentally in the squirrel being like, Oh my God, I survived. Rally, my brother and tell him we unite together. Screw you.

[01:35:22] I was routinely getting a flying squirrel on camera. Oh, are you? Mm-hmm. Yeah. He got a flying. Wait, there's flying squirrels. They're not journal. They're not journal. At my parents' place, actually. I didn't even know that they were around. I didn't know they were around here either. But they are, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. He's getting them on his cameras that he has at night. It's not a bat? No. It's like squirrel. It's a squirrel. It's fuzzy. It's so cool. Yeah. And it's got a tail. It's got a long tail.

[01:35:53] Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. It's totally a flying squirrel. It's cool. That was good. Was it? Yeah. You feel warmer? That's the, I think it's the beef with barley. The chunky soup. I found a new one, dude. It's delicious. You love your chunky soup. Good in a pinch. The Lido's Paradise. She's like, man, you guys are really pushing some soup over here. There's a quick snack. Oh, we went home with so much of it. Nobody ate it. Oh, man.

[01:36:26] Though I did. You know, quick snack. The way, you know, you're going to your next seminar. It's like, oh, there's something to eat. Well, my one client was enticed by it. She was like, they have, they have Old Bay clam chowder. I was like, yeah. Oh, dude. She was like, what? That was a really good one. I have to get this. And I was like, great. And then apparently that's what she ate when she, she like went on the way home and picked up Old Bay clam chowder. It was just on her heart.

[01:36:53] So I felt good that I gave her. Yeah. I don't know. Something great. Something awesome to eat after I just tore her ass up for like six hours. Yeah. I'm leaving all to put my stuff downstairs. All right. Thanks for joining us. Yes. For this Rico outtake. Outtake. This is a podcast. But you better put a trigger warning on there. Who needs a bowl? Honestly.

[01:37:27] Straight from the pot. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Yeah. We usually, we just, we just take it over and our, we have, you know, we have like fabric placemats and then we have our, our tablecloth. So you just put a hot thing on it. It's fine. You just eat it right there. Well, we came up here and was like. I like how you walked up the stairs with it. First of all.

[01:37:57] I know. No. Like instead of just like, oh, I'm just going to go say, hey, leave this on the counter. He brings it up the stairs. Nope. He was going to eat us, eat with us, eat with us for sure. He just didn't think it through. Oh my goodness. Like, well, I'm here now. I can hold it. Yeah. I'm strong. Fucking wild. I love him. Of course you do. He makes me laugh so much. Good.

[01:38:28] Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.