Ep. 244 "A New Look" (A Diary Announcement from your Host)

[00:00:00] Hello and happy Tuesday diary listeners. I have an announcement and that's going to factor in today's diary entry which I am calling A New Look and I hope you all enjoy.

[00:00:19] Welcome to The Apprenticeship Diaries where raw meets refined. Let's be real, we're still working on refined.

[00:00:25] What it took, what it takes, and the stories that are made. Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin.

[00:00:32] All right, there's not going to be much to offer in this diary entry. Happy New Year everyone. I asked a lady this past week, I was picking up cat food for my kitties and I wished her a happy new year and it was I think three days after the new year and I said, you know, how long are you able to say that?

[00:01:02] You know, do you say it to every person that you see like in January if that's the first time you're seeing them in January and she said, and I liked her like cut off.

[00:01:19] It was, I think like the start of next week is when you cut it off. So I'm probably right at deadline here about wishing all a happy new year and, you know, all of that.

[00:01:33] But I wanted, I wanted to wish you all a happy new year. I know I did it in post form on the page, but I didn't verbalize it. I don't believe.

[00:01:44] So happy new year. With the new year, I really wanted to change the look of the podcast. I wanted to not rebrand because it's the same brand. It's still raw to refined, though.

[00:02:00] I will say in creating just a new cover photo for the podcast. I'm removing the the back that I used to have.

[00:02:14] It was a man's back with the apprenticeship diaries as if it was drawn on him first, like sketched and then tattooed.

[00:02:21] Finally, finally. I like that it's it's going to remember, you know, it's going to remain in the archives of the history of this podcast as it is the history of this podcast.

[00:02:33] And that's the whole the whole point of, you know, doing a podcast and calling it a diary is to keep a history of these things.

[00:02:47] And I plan to as long as I am able to harbor recordings and keep records, I would like to do that.

[00:02:57] So it's going to remain, but I'm replacing it with something that I feel like is more appropriate to what the podcast has become, because originally the podcast, I really wanted it to be tattoo centric.

[00:03:12] But in doing it, there was a few things.

[00:03:18] For one, it was incredible to me how hard it was to get tattoo artists that I knew and that I liked to even be on the show and submit a diary entry of their apprenticeship experience.

[00:03:34] It was it was baffling to me.

[00:03:38] And I, you know, I don't know why.

[00:03:41] I guess a lot of them felt like it would stir up stuff from the past that they had moved beyond, you know, like old wounds.

[00:03:50] And I was very clear about like, hey, you know, you can omit names, you can, you know, just tell the story.

[00:03:58] You know, the story is what it is.

[00:03:59] People usually understand that they're hearing your side of the story.

[00:04:05] And the people who know, no.

[00:04:07] And the people who don't, don't.

[00:04:09] They're just going to they're going to walk away with information that can probably help save them some time and energy through posterity of offering your experience.

[00:04:20] But so many artists that I knew and maybe I like them.

[00:04:26] Maybe they just didn't like me.

[00:04:27] I don't know.

[00:04:28] I don't really know.

[00:04:29] I mean, you know, I was.

[00:04:32] I'd like to think that I've become a more measured person now and a lot more informed human being about other human beings.

[00:04:45] I've I've really tried through the past, you know, five years, really, that I've been doing this podcast has been.

[00:04:55] It started out as as really wanting to be a podcast and to be, you know, one of the most awesome podcasts.

[00:05:04] You know, you have these grand visions.

[00:05:06] I always do anyway.

[00:05:08] And I'll admit it.

[00:05:09] And that might be my problem.

[00:05:14] But I really wanted a podcast and I really didn't care.

[00:05:19] I really didn't care about making money.

[00:05:23] I still don't.

[00:05:24] I really liked the medium.

[00:05:26] I still do.

[00:05:27] And I really just wanted to use it as like a moving exercise for me to learn, for other people to experience, for other people to benefit from.

[00:05:40] And and that was really the goal.

[00:05:44] So I kept doing it despite the lack of offers that I had for interviews.

[00:05:55] And even the interviews, I I'll admit I'm not a good interviewer.

[00:06:01] At least I wasn't.

[00:06:02] I like to talk.

[00:06:04] I'm a I'm a commentator, I think.

[00:06:08] And I have a lot of opinions.

[00:06:11] But I wasn't in the beginning ready or wanting to move into the space of commentary and podcast hosts,

[00:06:21] because that was kind of the initial thing was that I I I didn't feel worthy to comment on tattooing, too.

[00:06:30] So I made it a safe thing for people who were in tattooing, but not of a certain age range to submit something that they had,

[00:06:42] whether it be that they were trying to get an apprenticeship or they had gone through one or that they hadn't gone through one.

[00:06:49] And yet they were tattooing and and offer these stories that I felt, like I said, through posterity would help people.

[00:06:58] So.

[00:07:00] That was that was the initial want was to and to meet other tattoo artists, which.

[00:07:07] Which I have, I greatly have.

[00:07:12] And I've I've really only been able to do that, I think, because I have really wonderful connections with,

[00:07:20] you know, like legendary professionals in the industry and not to name drop.

[00:07:25] But, you know, I I have the benefit of having met Guy Atchison early in my experience and getting getting the knowledge of reinventing the tattoo really early.

[00:07:38] And, you know, that was all like, honestly, dumb luck.

[00:07:45] I mean, I was not hunting that information.

[00:07:48] I didn't even want to be a tattoo artist when I came to tattooing.

[00:07:51] I just I really wanted to do art as a living and I really wanted to pursue something that I felt like could elevate me and that culminated my love for making with an ability to pay my bills and do so in a way that I felt integral.

[00:08:08] And I felt a great expression of the skills that I had, which is I.

[00:08:16] Yeah, I in art school, even they it's dumb, but they they teach you what good art is and good art is very rarely something that.

[00:08:30] That is overly overt.

[00:08:38] Yeah.

[00:08:38] And how do I it will affect everyone because good art is founded in in.

[00:08:46] Principles that are very much so core to everything that we are.

[00:08:51] It that's why you can call upon things like the Fibonacci sequence and sacred geometry and the theory of thirds and things like that when you're talking about art, complimentary colors and things like that.

[00:09:08] Good art is something that people might not necessarily be able to articulate, but that hits everybody at the same way.

[00:09:14] But within that.

[00:09:16] It's kind of like touching God a little bit.

[00:09:20] And when that happens, words kind of fail.

[00:09:27] And that's why it kind of sucks getting to my point is that when you finish a education in art,

[00:09:38] then you're kind of doomed to go into this commercial space where everything has to be super dumbed down, super overt.

[00:09:49] And the fact they tell you they're like, you know, good advertising has to be something that everybody can read and understand quickly.

[00:09:57] And if it's if it's too subvert, it's not good advertising.

[00:10:05] So so the two kind of run counter to each other in a lot of ways.

[00:10:11] And, you know, that was kind of what I was looking into before I dropped out of college was that it seemed to me that every single space that you would you would put in your,

[00:10:23] you know, your degree for and your qualifications for and all of that and submit for entry level jobs was all working for other companies that.

[00:10:34] Truly would never let you be an artist like it just ran counterintuitively to being an artist.

[00:10:43] And I, I saw that before I left college because I was like, y'all keep teaching me how to make art, but you don't tell me how to sell this.

[00:10:54] You're not you're not teaching me how to be an independent professional who is actually a artist, how to be a professional artist.

[00:11:08] And that's why I started tattooing, because for me, when I investigated it and found it as a profession, I was like, oh, this is to me the perfect,

[00:11:23] the perfect combination of the commercial and the artistic.

[00:11:29] This is where everybody can kind of meet because people want to get tattooed because they're drawn to it from a lot of different reasons.

[00:11:39] But it's it's something that I find that everybody's curious about.

[00:11:46] Just just is even even if they don't like it, they have a reaction to it, which makes it pretty awesome.

[00:11:55] And it's a way that you can practice art continually within a profession.

[00:12:03] And you're paid to do it.

[00:12:05] And the more you're able to make it your own, the more influential and the more elite you seem to be.

[00:12:15] And so I, I really liked that about it.

[00:12:19] I liked that I was getting attention for something that a lot of other tattoo artists were saying wasn't even tattooing.

[00:12:26] Like, oh, you do these watercolor tattoos.

[00:12:27] They're not even tattoos.

[00:12:29] And yet that was the thing that was feeling my ability to pay my bills in the beginning as people wanted it.

[00:12:38] So regardless of how much it is, quote unquote, tattooing, it provided for me and the people who I did it for loved it.

[00:12:46] And I've asked them, you know, about it since.

[00:12:50] And many of them don't want me to touch their tattoos.

[00:12:53] They love them still.

[00:12:54] They're exactly what they wanted.

[00:12:57] And it kind of runs into the whole just being a servant of the people kind of thing, which is also my background is working in the beauty industry, hair industry, and genuinely wanting to service people and offer them a space where they can reflect and be.

[00:13:16] So that's a long way around to scratch your butt, I guess, and telling you what the want for this podcast was.

[00:13:28] And then what it has become.

[00:13:30] I think it has become all of those things.

[00:13:33] But I had to get here in a lot of ways that I didn't expect.

[00:13:39] And, of course, that's just how life is.

[00:13:44] And then how wants work, right?

[00:13:47] Like you want it.

[00:13:50] And if you're like me, you're a control freak.

[00:13:53] So you don't really trust that it's just going to come to you.

[00:13:56] You think, oh, what can I do to make it happen?

[00:13:59] Which is good because, you know, you at least buy into the idea that you don't just sit around and wish and hope.

[00:14:05] You activate your life.

[00:14:07] You need to do certain things that will bring you to the things that you want.

[00:14:14] But, yeah, I you always think that you have to do it all yourself.

[00:14:18] And that's always the fatal fatal flaw, I think, in thinking.

[00:14:22] And so the the podcast has taken a lot of twists and turns.

[00:14:26] It ended up not being just tattoo artists.

[00:14:28] It it's really a podcast about learning journeys, alternate ways of coming to a profession, spiritual reflection.

[00:14:45] It's more a conversation space than it is an interview space.

[00:14:52] And it has become very personal.

[00:14:54] And at this point, I am quite ready to take ownership of being a commentator and giving perspective,

[00:15:02] because at least now I feel like my perspective comes from a place that isn't me.

[00:15:10] And how do I put that?

[00:15:13] I am very much so trying and I have expressed this for at least a year and a half now, form a relationship with God.

[00:15:22] And so my new journey is about building that relationship.

[00:15:30] And I really, really, really, really want to, through this medium, share with you my experience.

[00:15:39] I wanted to still say very organic.

[00:15:41] If something comes up where, you know, I meet somebody and I think that they're really good for the show

[00:15:49] and they're going to have a lot of insight to offer the show in multiple ways,

[00:15:54] I will have them on, talk to them.

[00:15:58] But it's going to be a lot more me and I'm I'm ready for all the hits that might come in making it about me.

[00:16:05] I'm I'm really in the tattoo realm.

[00:16:09] Small fish and a small fish in a very big pond, actually, at this point.

[00:16:16] Right. And, you know, I don't.

[00:16:22] I don't want to do any of the things that they say you're supposed to do to grow my show.

[00:16:29] I hate it all. I hate it all.

[00:16:31] I hate all the divisive ways because it's like I said about college.

[00:16:36] You know, when you go in to sell something, you have to make it so unbelievably blatant for people.

[00:16:46] And it's just for me, it's just not good art.

[00:16:49] It's not good art.

[00:16:51] And I don't really want I don't want more.

[00:16:55] I want quality.

[00:16:58] I want it in every single way.

[00:17:01] I know that's a high expectation, but I really do.

[00:17:05] I don't want crap.

[00:17:07] You know, like I don't want integral listener or non-integral listeners.

[00:17:14] I want integral listeners.

[00:17:15] I want people who stay for sometimes reasons they don't even understand.

[00:17:21] You know, maybe if they were asked, they'd they'd rattle off a few things, but

[00:17:25] they stay because they like it.

[00:17:28] And just like good art, you know, and they get something out of it in a way that that benefits them.

[00:17:39] It could be as simple as they just like my voice.

[00:17:41] I've had a partner of mine tell me that he really liked my voice.

[00:17:46] So that's good enough for me.

[00:17:48] Yeah.

[00:17:48] And that's that's something I know.

[00:17:51] I've stopped listening to a lot of people because I didn't like their voice.

[00:17:54] I don't like their cadence.

[00:17:55] I didn't like their tics.

[00:17:57] All of it.

[00:18:00] And then on the converse, I've really loved their voice.

[00:18:04] I've really loved their jokes.

[00:18:06] I've loved their humor.

[00:18:09] Their their sounds and things like that.

[00:18:11] So, you know, it's just as earnest with me as it would would be with anyone else.

[00:18:17] And I don't I don't really care what you why you stay.

[00:18:19] I just appreciate if you do equally.

[00:18:22] If you leave, I can appreciate that, too.

[00:18:25] There is now a lot of tattoo related podcasts and even one that has a video attachment that

[00:18:33] I got wind of that painful pleasures is putting out that is pretty much my podcast or at least

[00:18:41] what my podcast was aiming to be called.

[00:18:47] What was it?

[00:18:51] It wasn't the apprenticeship diaries.

[00:18:53] It was like the apprenticeship stories or something like that.

[00:18:58] I don't know.

[00:18:58] It was pretty much my idea.

[00:19:00] And I felt it was pretty snaky, if I'm honest.

[00:19:06] But whatever.

[00:19:08] I I haven't trademarked this name or anything like that.

[00:19:13] I do own the web addresses and stuff like that to the apprenticeship diaries.

[00:19:21] So that's mine.

[00:19:23] And I could probably make a good case for it being mine for a long time.

[00:19:27] But again, like I said, I just I don't I don't like all the nonsense.

[00:19:33] I don't like all the cutthroat businessy stuff.

[00:19:36] I don't have the balls, I think, for it.

[00:19:38] I'm I'm an artist and I'm going to get like I'm going to get hit by the people who are able

[00:19:44] to culminate wealth, power and influence and dominate the space and just do more flashy

[00:19:48] things.

[00:19:49] I realize that that's not why I'm doing it.

[00:19:52] It never was why I did it.

[00:19:56] Nothing I do is typically with that kind of aim.

[00:20:02] The only reason why I wanted it to take off and be famous is because I really believe in a lot of great things.

[00:20:16] I know it's hard to say that without ego.

[00:20:20] There is ego there.

[00:20:23] But I I know now by looking at myself.

[00:20:29] I am very wicked.

[00:20:31] I am a very wicked person.

[00:20:33] We all are in some ways if we're really looking at ourselves through the lens of comparing ourselves to ultimate love and graciousness.

[00:20:41] We are very wicked if we're truly honest about it.

[00:20:46] But my wants have always been.

[00:20:51] Well, obviously, there's some that are very selfish, but even those the selfish ones were were very set against.

[00:20:59] Personal accountability and what I felt like I could personally.

[00:21:09] Juggle and take on for myself responsibly without burdening or hurting anyone else.

[00:21:18] So even though it was very centered around gratifying myself.

[00:21:27] Limiting myself would really be the better word.

[00:21:30] I limited it to just what I could handle.

[00:21:34] And I formed my life very much so around that plus what would bring me joy.

[00:21:42] And truly, what brings me joy is a lot of things.

[00:21:47] It's I get a lot of joy out of just life, out of out of certain things.

[00:21:53] I mean, right now the sun is streaming through my window in a beautiful way and it's dancing across my this room in a in a lovely way.

[00:22:02] And just you can get caught up in so many romantic things that life brings if you're paying attention.

[00:22:09] And I always try to pay to pay attention.

[00:22:12] So I guess that's that's what I'm saying is, is that I feel like I pay attention to things that might be missed by others.

[00:22:30] And I really wanted those to go out into the world.

[00:22:34] Because from what I heard from clients and friends of mine was that they didn't always agree with me.

[00:22:41] But that they liked my perspective.

[00:22:45] Because it offered a different view that they had never considered.

[00:22:52] And as an artist, that's what I can offer is perspective.

[00:22:58] So I really would like to keep offering that.

[00:23:03] And I do think that there is something perhaps unique about my perspective.

[00:23:11] And the way I can articulate it than anyone else.

[00:23:16] So I'm going to step into that space of ownership there.

[00:23:21] And and talk about it more and share with you guys, I think, a little bit more of my own personal journey.

[00:23:27] In terms of what I'm doing to elevate myself and move through some of this stagnant space that I'm in right now.

[00:23:38] You know, post COVID, all of that.

[00:23:40] I appreciate all of you that went through the last four years with me.

[00:23:43] It was an emotional ride for me.

[00:23:46] I'm sure it was ridiculous to listen to and to watch.

[00:23:49] You're like, what the hell is this woman doing?

[00:23:51] I didn't know.

[00:23:53] I was doing things.

[00:23:54] I was doing a lot of things.

[00:23:56] I can't say I'm not going to still do a lot of things.

[00:24:00] I think I'm just going to own doing a lot of things and put myself out there is doing a lot of things.

[00:24:09] You know, I focused long enough, praise God, on tattooing to make it a space that I can own fully.

[00:24:15] That I that I can stand and have some things to say about that I could actually teach to people that I that I have enough under my belt there that that that I can maintain myself.

[00:24:27] And I can also expand into other atmospheres artistically and otherwise.

[00:24:34] So praise God.

[00:24:36] Praise God.

[00:24:36] Right.

[00:24:36] Like I I spent my younger years.

[00:24:40] Well, I spent my younger years doing a lot of stuff, but I spent my younger years very much.

[00:24:45] So getting a foundational education and a profession that gave me a footing in a space where it now is not self-driving.

[00:24:54] It can definitely expand.

[00:24:56] But, you know, I can maintain and I can do it myself.

[00:25:01] And that's wonderful, wonderful to know.

[00:25:05] It's very liberating.

[00:25:06] And I pray for all of you that you you get there in whatever you're aiming to do.

[00:25:12] It's a wonderful feeling to have that kind of special and rare skill that, you know, people want.

[00:25:21] People are willing to pay good money for and they can sustain you.

[00:25:24] What I can offer from the space of being in in that profession for 16 years now is that you want to scale and you don't know what's next.

[00:25:35] And if you're like me, you've witnessed businesses.

[00:25:42] You know, in a wide area of professional spaces and you've seen the BS that can arise when you own your own business and particularly when you bring more people into the business.

[00:26:02] And what kind of lessons you learn along those ways.

[00:26:05] And it can be very halting, anxiety inducing, etc.

[00:26:15] And not and and also no one has given me no one has given me any kind of.

[00:26:23] Like encouragement about it.

[00:26:26] They're just like, you just got to do it and you got to take the hits.

[00:26:31] And so it's like, what?

[00:26:33] You can give me no other advice.

[00:26:35] And they're they're like, I can only give you what I went into it with, which is that I could do it better than this person.

[00:26:41] And I was like, wow, I don't I don't have that because I really had great people that I learned from.

[00:26:52] My parents were small business owners.

[00:26:53] They were great at it.

[00:26:54] My mom was great at it.

[00:26:56] And she sets a high bar, man, like really high bar.

[00:27:01] And she also has a lot of nonsense to communicate about how hard it was.

[00:27:06] So that's confronting my.

[00:27:10] You know, my first time learning to tattoo.

[00:27:15] I saw.

[00:27:18] I saw a poor business owner in a lot of ways in in Kentucky when I learned first.

[00:27:28] But I, you know, a lot of kindness.

[00:27:31] I don't I don't think that that that he, you know, flawed people, but not not a good business owner.

[00:27:40] But it I didn't it didn't make me feel like, oh, I know enough about tattooing to open up my own spot or to go back into tattooing.

[00:27:49] In fact, it made me feel like, oh, I didn't have a good mentor at first and a good business owner.

[00:27:55] So I should probably relearn how to do this.

[00:27:59] And that's why I did to tattoo apprenticeships and why in between I got licensed in being a barber and then cut hair for a long time after that.

[00:28:14] Yeah, I.

[00:28:16] And then with John, John was an amazing business owner.

[00:28:20] He really, really was still.

[00:28:22] I don't think he owns Tattooed Heart anymore.

[00:28:25] He sold it, I believe, to Kinsey Rome.

[00:28:29] She's now the owner.

[00:28:30] So but but for the time that I worked with him and under him, he is a great business owner.

[00:28:39] I.

[00:28:41] I can't take much away from his ability to run a business and to know how to make money.

[00:28:51] I mean, that's pretty core, right, to to running a business.

[00:28:56] And he also was an amazing salesperson.

[00:28:59] He could sell you anything.

[00:29:01] It was incredible.

[00:29:02] And it was really to be admired, his ability to do that.

[00:29:06] He just he had he had that touch.

[00:29:09] So I learned a lot from him.

[00:29:11] But I didn't have bad.

[00:29:13] I didn't have bad business owners.

[00:29:15] Honestly, if I did, I left, you know, like stay.

[00:29:19] And I moved on.

[00:29:22] So, yeah, what what this will be 2025.

[00:29:31] 2025, I am going to be trying to build up and clean up my life and curb some of the chaos.

[00:29:45] I want to recommit to a lot of the things that I did before, which was being in the word regularly.

[00:29:55] If that means that I have to write it down and copy it and then read it and then recite it or whatever and practice calligraphy, then that's what I'll do.

[00:30:07] I really want to do that and give at least at least 15 minutes a day to it.

[00:30:15] I really, really want to try and do that.

[00:30:21] Calligraphy, I'd like to get better at, but I don't know why.

[00:30:28] I'm not.

[00:30:30] And this isn't.

[00:30:32] This isn't something I couldn't work on.

[00:30:35] I know I could work on it, but I am really struggling with angles like I do not.

[00:30:40] My hand does not regularly fall.

[00:30:43] It's a little bit difficult to an angle that helps one have consistent handwriting.

[00:30:53] If you even watch how I normally write, the angle to which the letter is expressed changes constantly.

[00:31:06] It can change within the word.

[00:31:09] So I don't.

[00:31:12] I don't know what that is.

[00:31:14] It's probably something very psychologically bound.

[00:31:16] I don't know.

[00:31:17] Maybe as I clean up my life, it'll I'll be able to consistently write.

[00:31:23] I don't know.

[00:31:24] I don't know.

[00:31:25] Um, I don't know.

[00:31:28] But I, I, that has not been lost.

[00:31:33] Um, I know I haven't done it in a while.

[00:31:36] Carving has reemerged.

[00:31:38] I, I did some carving for Christmas.

[00:31:40] Uh, I, I carved seashells this time.

[00:31:44] Um, which was pretty cool.

[00:31:46] Um, I took a couple of pictures, so maybe I'll, I'll post that with the podcast so that y'all can see.

[00:31:53] Alleviate my phone from having them, maybe.

[00:31:57] Um, cause the actual things exist.

[00:31:59] Uh, at least for now.

[00:32:01] They might get broken.

[00:32:02] I don't know.

[00:32:03] Um, tangent.

[00:32:06] But yeah, uh, I, I have been carving again.

[00:32:10] I want to carve again.

[00:32:11] Um, really having fun with resin pouring, which kind of goes into jewelry making, pendant making, carving.

[00:32:30] All, I like, I like, I like sculpture.

[00:32:32] I like, I like the expression and construction of form and playing with materials.

[00:32:38] And there's so much within resin that allows you to play with materials and see what it does.

[00:32:48] I like it a lot.

[00:32:49] So resin, um, carving.

[00:32:53] Yeah.

[00:32:55] The stuff's still there.

[00:32:57] So I'll talk about it.

[00:32:58] Um, I also, I signed up for classes.

[00:33:01] I think I might've commented on this before, but I, um, starting this February, I'll be taking entry level, uh, accounting, which I'm excited about.

[00:33:13] I feel like there's going to be a lot of peace in numbers.

[00:33:16] And I'm looking forward to somewhat getting organized in that way, though.

[00:33:23] I know it's probably going to be ominous because I'm really not.

[00:33:30] I've, I've lost a lot of my systems and my systems even before that were pretty loose and I'd like to lock it in.

[00:33:38] And I really want to do that.

[00:33:40] Um, because I feel like it's, it's, if I'm to claim diary on any level, I think that that's a lot about what this is, is documentation and making sure that there's clean documentation that can go into most of my life.

[00:34:00] And I, I don't know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of peace that I have in that.

[00:34:05] And there's also a lot of, um, I believe it to be a gift to others because I, I like that about my mother.

[00:34:18] For example, she, she has everything like all documented, like her financials, even a lot of things like a lot of her house is filled with antiques and just things that take ritual and practice to maintain.

[00:34:45] And properly restore and conserve.

[00:34:49] And I've already had a podcast where I've told y'all that I'm a conservative.

[00:34:53] I am.

[00:34:54] I really, really, really am a conservative.

[00:34:56] If it's not maintaining something to its original splendor or restoring it to that, then I really want to, I really want to, you know, uplift it and bring it into a new space of reverence and appreciation.

[00:35:10] But I really don't like throwing things out.

[00:35:15] I really don't like being a, um, a society built on, you know, moving on, moving on, moving on, throw it away, throw it away, throw it away.

[00:35:31] A disposable society.

[00:35:33] I don't enjoy that.

[00:35:37] Um, it, it, this kind of came up when NFTs were a big thing and I know there's artists that still do it and I'm not trying to insult you.

[00:35:45] I do you, um, but, and most of the people who did this, they're very prolific artists.

[00:35:52] Anyway, they, they do art in multiple ways and the ones that I know have businesses.

[00:36:00] And so they also help other people reach their dreams and they're, they're, they're big economic, um, drivers.

[00:36:08] And, you know, they, they, they, they have, they have their place and I appreciate them.

[00:36:14] So I'm not critiquing you if this is something that you did because you felt like it was a good opportunity to make money or to, you know, take advantage of a, of a niche place that people were in.

[00:36:28] But for me, just hearing about it and understanding what it was right away, it just struck me as something that, um, I wanted nothing to do with because it, as much as I utilize digital systems in a lot of ways.

[00:36:45] And of course I keep my podcasts and only recordings on these devices that if an EMP drops all lost, um, it's all lost.

[00:36:57] So if I don't learn to write it down, then it will never have the staying power that it should.

[00:37:10] And that's, that's kind of what I think is amazing about art too, is that, you know, you have this person who is called or feeling something very potent that they have,

[00:37:25] they have to make, they have to sit with, and they have to meditate on, and they have to move their hands and create it.

[00:37:35] And then what you have is this tangible thing that a human being made,

[00:37:44] that even if you ask that person to do all over again, they couldn't do, not exactly.

[00:37:51] It would be different.

[00:37:54] It would, once it exists, it's, it's completely its own thing.

[00:37:58] And for me, there's something very beautiful in that, something that, you know, I feel spiritually connected to,

[00:38:11] because I, I know that that's what God gifted me with was this creator ability of this art, this talent.

[00:38:19] Um, and I really want my talent to be to the glory of God and the things that I make to be to the glory of God.

[00:38:30] And what that means for me is impact.

[00:38:34] How much will it impact and for how long will it impact?

[00:38:40] And so NFTs for me, like non-fungible tokens.

[00:38:44] I mean, who's to say, first of all, it's non-fungible.

[00:38:47] Anything that has a name like that usually is the opposite of what it says it is.

[00:38:51] It's completely fungible and it's, you know, a token.

[00:38:58] A token.

[00:39:00] And, you know, I, I guess a token, I guess you'd feel like it's this rare thing that you gather along your way, but they didn't strike me as that.

[00:39:14] They struck me as very momentary, very fleeting and very cheap.

[00:39:22] And so I didn't want anyone to be a part of that.

[00:39:26] I don't like things like that.

[00:39:27] I like things with substance, with depth, with richness.

[00:39:30] And if I'm going to do something with my art, you know, and again, like I said, I don't begrudge anyone that has NFTs.

[00:39:43] And that creates these tokens that are purely about your, you know, your business and they're all digital.

[00:39:55] And, you know, there's a blockchain that you can actually like go back on and see how it was purchased and the original value and all these things.

[00:40:06] You know, like there's records.

[00:40:08] I appreciate those things.

[00:40:09] I appreciate transparency.

[00:40:13] Transparency, I, I, I like, I like where a lot of the digital spaces are going with their ideas.

[00:40:22] I like the freedom of it.

[00:40:23] I like the, you know, small people using these things to greater ends.

[00:40:28] All of that, I feel, is the same kind of thing of like wanting to live to the glory of God.

[00:40:35] And God wanted us to have freedom.

[00:40:40] Really, really.

[00:40:41] I mean, anyone or thing that loves you wants you to be free.

[00:40:46] They don't want to enslave you.

[00:40:48] They don't want to use you.

[00:40:49] They don't want to abuse you.

[00:40:50] They don't want to do any of those things.

[00:40:53] So it's not that I don't see those things.

[00:40:55] It's just for me personally, I didn't, I didn't find anything integral about them.

[00:40:59] And I, I, I had no interest.

[00:41:02] So I'll be making, and this is going to be a year of making.

[00:41:07] There's a couple realms that I want to pursue in this time.

[00:41:15] I, I'm not going to announce one of them, but one, the, the one, I think I already have talked about with a series of people.

[00:41:24] I want to do a birds of the Bible kind of thing just because it was on my heart and I love birds.

[00:41:29] They're very spiritually evocative to me.

[00:41:33] And, um, I don't know, it'll, it'll recommit me to painting again that I really want to do.

[00:41:40] And just having a high, high turnout of stuff.

[00:41:44] I really want to make, make, make, make, make, make, um, create a store of my creations and sell them.

[00:41:53] And so I can get them out of my house and, and, and, you know, once they're made, let them, let them find new homes because they're not mine anymore.

[00:42:03] They're, they're, they're, they're own thing.

[00:42:06] They need a home.

[00:42:09] So, um, yeah, less, less holding on to the things I make and more of them going outward.

[00:42:18] And, um, I'll still be tattooing.

[00:42:24] Um, as it's turning out, I'm, I'm not so sure how much I'm going to be pursuing, uh, conventions in a tattoo space.

[00:42:42] I had a few, like, uh, I have a friend that I really want to do Baltimore with, uh, again.

[00:42:48] So I have to sign up for that quickly just because, um, the deadline for signing up for it.

[00:42:56] I'm, I don't know if there's a deadline, but it's coming up quick.

[00:42:58] It's in March.

[00:42:59] So I have to, I have to sign up for it fast.

[00:43:03] Um, she wants to do it again, so we're going to do it.

[00:43:08] Um, but I, I, I really hate conventions.

[00:43:13] I really don't, I really don't like them.

[00:43:16] I really don't like them.

[00:43:17] I have only liked my company.

[00:43:21] I have only liked being with other artists and traveling with them, hacking the travel,

[00:43:31] learning what things you learn when you are traveling.

[00:43:35] I like all that.

[00:43:37] Uh, and I like the, I like the way you kind of set your life up when you are regularly traveling.

[00:43:46] You're kind of, you're kind of in a, in a rhythm of it.

[00:43:51] So, you know, you know how to pack, you know how to, how to handle the whole thing.

[00:43:56] You kind of have an ease about it.

[00:43:59] Um, you know, if you're traveling with the United States, there's a very few places you go to where you're not going to find a CVS.

[00:44:06] So you're not going to find, you're not going to find the things that you need should you not pack them.

[00:44:10] So it's not like you're going out to the middle of nowhere and you need everything you possibly have.

[00:44:17] Um, you know, learn those lessons.

[00:44:20] And when you're out of that vein, I don't know, you, you forget about it.

[00:44:26] Like you just forget about it.

[00:44:27] And then you start doing old things again and you're like, oh yeah, like that's why you don't do that.

[00:44:33] Yeah. Okay.

[00:44:34] But when you're in a, in a rhythm of it, you don't make those kinds of choices or mistakes.

[00:44:40] And you, you just, I don't know, you travel better.

[00:44:44] You're also, if you travel in groups and with other people and plan things with other people,

[00:44:50] typically there is a person who makes up for something that someone else didn't do and vice versa.

[00:44:55] And, um, that's really fun because you learn a lot about a person and you pick up a lot of trips, tricks and tips.

[00:45:05] Oh, excuse me, listeners for yawning.

[00:45:09] But yeah, not to say that I won't travel.

[00:45:14] Um, I just don't know, you know, like beginning of your year as a tattoo artist,

[00:45:20] you're, they recommend that you know your year at a glance and you announce it to your clients.

[00:45:32] I don't know that.

[00:45:34] Um, what I can say is, is that I'm doing these classes with the aim to very much so pull in,

[00:45:49] reestablish my foundation from where I am now, because I'm very assured that this is what I want to be

[00:45:57] pursuing for a while, my, my relationship with God and all things that, and I really want to invest in

[00:46:05] that because I know it will profit me, uh, in ways that are the most important.

[00:46:14] And like I said, I, if money comes, that's great, but it could only come if it's well-gotten gains.

[00:46:23] I do not want things to come built on a bad foundation because it just can't sustain.

[00:46:28] It can't hold.

[00:46:29] And I know it can't hold.

[00:46:32] And, and then really those are my, my fears is just starting off from a space of, um, stability.

[00:46:41] And so I'm going into the areas of my life where I know I am weakest and less organized.

[00:46:51] Now I will say, I just got off a zoom, a live zoom, a call that I would like to shout out that I think is

[00:46:59] really great.

[00:47:00] If you're a tattoo artist or an aspiring one, definitely follow and try to get on the regular

[00:47:08] listening list of, um, tattoo career builders.

[00:47:12] Uh, Derek Youngberg is, um, the owner of that company and he's really dedicated to, um, being a

[00:47:23] consultant there and helping tattoo artists as they move through their careers.

[00:47:28] And he offers on Tuesdays at 1 PM Eastern, but 10 AM Pacific time, uh, like a, like a free

[00:47:41] talk where he gets professionals on there and they give advice and they do a Q and a.

[00:47:47] And this most recent one was about taxes.

[00:47:49] And he had two, um, two people that are very, um, based in their work with, uh, salons, tattoo

[00:48:01] artists, tattoo shops, and, and they did a talk and it was really, really good.

[00:48:05] And what I will say from that is after listening to some people and their experiences, I'm

[00:48:14] unbelievably grateful again for my, my great, great, great, great, um, influences.

[00:48:23] My, my mother's great.

[00:48:24] Her people are great.

[00:48:26] Um, the tax attorney that I used for a while, and now I have an accountant, he's not a tax

[00:48:31] attorney, but, you know, using a tax attorney for so long and, um, having just over a decade

[00:48:40] worth of, um, filings with, uh, uh, one company, one set of people, uh, is wonderful.

[00:48:53] Um, because I can just go there.

[00:48:57] I can just go to them.

[00:48:59] They've done all my filings.

[00:49:00] I have years worth of that.

[00:49:02] And I, I have kept all of my receipts and, um, filings in that way.

[00:49:09] And it's been over a decade.

[00:49:11] So if somebody comes knocking, um, not to say that it, you know, no audit is ever going to

[00:49:18] be easy, but, um, we did actually have, if you catch the replay of, uh, tattoo career,

[00:49:27] tattoo career builders replay of the tax talk that went on today, um, one of the tattoo artists

[00:49:35] was getting audited and she was freaking out.

[00:49:37] Um, and they quelled a lot of things, gave her a lot of good tips, gave all of us a lot

[00:49:43] of good tips upon her experience.

[00:49:45] So that was really great.

[00:49:48] Even, even if you have nothing to offer, just listen to that kind of stuff, because I mean,

[00:49:54] I, for me anyway, those are the kinds of things that give me peace or give me, um, a good view

[00:50:01] or perspective of where I am in everything.

[00:50:05] And I will say that, that sitting in that space and kind of hearing about where other people are,

[00:50:11] I'm very grateful for, um, the choices that I've made over the past 16 years and, um, the wonderful,

[00:50:20] um, people that I've been able to meet and that I have had access to, it is phenomenal.

[00:50:28] So, um, but one of the things that was said in, in this, uh, zoom call was that, uh, and he

[00:50:38] was tattooing at the time.

[00:50:39] He said, I, I really wish that in the beginning I, I would have started this earlier.

[00:50:46] He's been tattooing for 10 years and, um, you know, it was like, you know, I would like

[00:50:53] to buy a house and now I'm finding it very hard to, uh, set up everything so that I can

[00:51:01] save for that.

[00:51:02] But I really want to do that.

[00:51:03] And I wish I would have started earlier.

[00:51:06] Um, so as a person who, you know, I don't have a big home, but I have a home.

[00:51:12] I own a home.

[00:51:13] I don't fully own a home.

[00:51:14] My bank owns my home, but I'm in a home.

[00:51:17] And a lot of the tax advice that was given for homes, I already know I've already been

[00:51:24] doing.

[00:51:24] So as far as like where I'm at within these things, I, I should feel good.

[00:51:32] Um, but if, if you are finding yourself anxious about any of those things as I do, as anyone

[00:51:41] would, because it is very scary, um, get, get, you know, get in touch with Derek's a lovely

[00:51:48] human.

[00:51:49] He's very sweet, very kind.

[00:51:51] Uh, the information that he provides and has been about has always been exceptional.

[00:51:57] He's been in the tattoo realm for like, I think it's 30 years, um, which is pretty awesome.

[00:52:08] Um, so he knows a lot.

[00:52:11] He's owned shops.

[00:52:12] He's been a tattoo artist.

[00:52:14] He now does supply and like I said, owns a consulting, uh, business at this point.

[00:52:21] And it's really good.

[00:52:22] And he, you know, he offers you some freebies.

[00:52:25] So definitely check out that.

[00:52:27] Um, for sure.

[00:52:29] I, I really only talk about and shout out things that I have found immense quality in.

[00:52:39] I just don't, I don't have it in me to talk about things that I don't find integral or good.

[00:52:47] I just, and if I do talk about them, I I'm honest about how I feel about them.

[00:52:52] And so you always know what I feel about them and I'm unabashed about it.

[00:52:58] Like, you know, I'm, I can be wrong and I'll admit when I'm wrong, but I will always tell

[00:53:05] you guys what I feel at least in the moment about something.

[00:53:10] So within all this, I created a new, this rebrand, this is not a rebrand.

[00:53:16] It's, it's just a new look, a new look to the podcast, something more in alignment with, uh,

[00:53:23] what it is.

[00:53:24] And I think, uh, more congruent with what the show I hope will bring to it, which is just listeners

[00:53:32] from backgrounds of, you know, multiple disciplinary, uh, spaces where they could come to this show

[00:53:42] and listen in and, you know, uh, gather, gather some insight, um, maybe be less scared, maybe

[00:53:51] have somebody that they can touch base with and be like, Hey, you know, I feel the same way or whatever.

[00:53:55] I, I've always been down with like giving people advice or, you know, I, and getting critique too.

[00:54:03] I, I'm fine with that.

[00:54:05] Um, I'm very stubborn about how I will move and grow.

[00:54:12] Um, just because I'm, I'm led by something that I don't even understand completely, but I know to trust it.

[00:54:20] I know to trust it because it, the second I don't listen, I get bit.

[00:54:27] So I, I know I got to follow this, uh, for better, for worse.

[00:54:31] It's something I get to put blinders on and do, but yeah, the new look is, um, upon reflection of like,

[00:54:41] I don't know, the podcast looked very dark before it was, it was, you know, everything was pretty,

[00:54:47] you know, I tried to have it be black, white, red, and gray.

[00:54:54] Um, which I, I like all those things based on the fact that, that that's kind of,

[00:55:02] I don't know, an artsy way.

[00:55:04] Like there's black and white as an extreme and then all the grays in between.

[00:55:10] And the thing that's human is the red, you know?

[00:55:12] And I, I do think that that's a very neat thing, especially if, you know, you consider

[00:55:19] blood as a, um, a life force, a thing that runs through everything.

[00:55:25] I kind of liked that, but it's too dark for me and stark.

[00:55:30] And it's as much as I wish I was that clean of a person and that succinct, I'm not.

[00:55:37] Maybe one day.

[00:55:38] I love color.

[00:55:40] I love all the colors.

[00:55:43] And, uh, honestly, it was really hard just to nail down a palette that I did.

[00:55:48] I don't even know if I'll stick to it, but the image that I created, you'll see it because

[00:55:53] I'm going to post it on the page and I'm going to change over this week, all of my social

[00:55:59] media spaces over to this new look.

[00:56:02] Um, I created an image that has multiple people, three, because I thought three was, I like threes.

[00:56:12] Three people either climbing a mountain on top of a mountain or at the bottom of a mountain

[00:56:20] reflecting.

[00:56:21] And I felt like that was a great, you know, like thing to kind of clock the different phases

[00:56:31] that this podcast has explored.

[00:56:33] You know, you're beginning your journey.

[00:56:35] You're still climbing.

[00:56:36] You're at the top of the mountain.

[00:56:37] You're overlooking and you're, you're appreciating, you know, your climb and, or you're at the

[00:56:43] bottom and, and you, you know, you, you're reflecting upon what you just did and now what's

[00:56:48] next.

[00:56:49] And then you're looking out and going, wow, there's still lots of mountains to climb.

[00:56:54] And I felt like that was a good image.

[00:56:59] Uh, I had actually, uh, in the course of the past five years from 2020, I, I got in touch

[00:57:08] with, um, or started listening to a poem recommendation of my, at the time, audio engineer, Chuck

[00:57:15] Nunn.

[00:57:16] Um, and, um, he put me onto wealth, power and influence by Jason Stapleton, which it's

[00:57:22] now the station.

[00:57:23] Jason Stapleton program is his podcast.

[00:57:27] And I, I haven't listened to it for a while.

[00:57:29] I apologize to Jason, to Jason, but Jason is a fantastic human.

[00:57:34] Uh, yet again, another person that I would highly recommend anyone knowing about, um, his, his show,

[00:57:42] even though it's not about wealth, power and influence, I'm fairly certain that you will

[00:57:47] gather all of those things.

[00:57:49] If you listen to the man on top of it, he is a good human.

[00:57:52] And I've met nothing but good humans from him, but he was looking to rebrand and he was changing

[00:58:01] the name of the podcast and everything.

[00:58:03] I, I didn't want to do that, but on my own podcast, but I, I did want a different look.

[00:58:09] And, uh, he was looking for, uh, you know, a new cover photo for his podcast and everything.

[00:58:15] And, um, I constructed something similar to what I made for myself.

[00:58:23] It was a little bit more brooding and polished and limited, which I felt like was more his

[00:58:32] vibe was very succinct and polished.

[00:58:35] Um, mine is not that, in fact, mine kind of looks like a nineties kind of influenced thing

[00:58:44] at this point, which I like because the nineties were good times.

[00:58:48] And that was, if there was any kind of space that I wish that we could kind of reclaim,

[00:58:54] it would be more of the nineties vibe.

[00:58:56] I feel like we were happier.

[00:58:58] People were pushing against certain things.

[00:59:01] They were testing boundaries in great ways.

[00:59:03] And none of us ever felt like it would go sideways.

[00:59:07] Of course, you know, that's always a bad way to think because it always will.

[00:59:12] But, you know, nineties were fun, man.

[00:59:15] And, um, the color palettes and everything.

[00:59:20] And just, it was a spinoff from the eighties, which were really fun.

[00:59:24] Um, but the nineties were cool.

[00:59:27] And I, I, you know, and that was big.

[00:59:31] I graduated in 1999.

[00:59:32] So I was like the last year of the nineties kids.

[00:59:36] And then after that was all two thousands and, um, yeah, so I, I kind of, I used what I did

[00:59:46] because Jason Stapleton never used the image that I made, but I really liked the image that

[00:59:52] I made.

[00:59:52] I, and I honestly, sorry, Jason.

[00:59:55] I was like, you're done for not liking this is perfect.

[00:59:58] Uh, but he went with something actually a lot cleaner, a lot, a lot more limited than what.

[01:00:07] And I was like, okay, well, it was just his name.

[01:00:09] You know, it was just, it was just the name of the show.

[01:00:12] And then I think just like a, I, I have to look it up, honestly.

[01:00:20] Um, but I think it's just the name of the show.

[01:00:23] It's very, very simple.

[01:00:24] It's way more simple than I could ever be.

[01:00:29] So I use what I, I use for him or that I made for him and I made it for our show because I

[01:00:37] think that's why I really liked his show is because it was, it was teaching me a lot of

[01:00:41] things.

[01:00:42] Cause he had this whole podcast, what do you call it?

[01:00:46] Podcast revolution or something.

[01:00:48] It was something about how to be a good podcaster and what are the, some of the things to build

[01:00:53] a podcast and, you know, you want to think about.

[01:00:55] And he was really, really good at story branding and how to make a brand succinct and good.

[01:01:03] And he did consulting as well and still does.

[01:01:06] Um, but yeah, that, that was what his vibe was all about.

[01:01:13] And it was really cool.

[01:01:14] And I, I think that's what I liked about him is that he was a great educator.

[01:01:19] He knew how to take complex things and break it down into smaller pieces.

[01:01:25] And that's what I really admired about him.

[01:01:28] And on an art that's very similar to like, um, the less is more, you know, like the more

[01:01:38] succinct, the more honed, the more, whatever you can do to something, the more elegant it

[01:01:47] looks, the more, uh, you know, it's like watching a really good dancer.

[01:01:53] They make it look easy, but in order for them to make it look easy, they have to drill

[01:01:59] and drill and drill and drill and drill and hone and hone and hone and hone.

[01:02:03] And you have to pay attention to these very minute little things that most of it don't catch.

[01:02:07] But if you're really good at paying attention, you do.

[01:02:11] And, um, again, I'm not as cool as him or a succinct, a lot more fettered, like a lot

[01:02:18] more color, a lot more stuff.

[01:02:19] So the new image is all of that.

[01:02:23] It also, um, is a slight homage to Chuck Nunn.

[01:02:29] As I mentioned, um, his January number 10 of, I believe 2021 is either 2021 or 2020.

[01:02:42] Oh, I hope I'm right.

[01:02:45] Anyway, it's on his SoundCloud.

[01:02:47] Uh, he has done January a couple times.

[01:02:50] What January is, is he would do a jam every day for the month of January and, and, and

[01:02:57] they were all different.

[01:02:57] And I think he's done it a couple of years in a row and he posted to a SoundCloud account

[01:03:01] and you should definitely check it out.

[01:03:03] The link is in show notes.

[01:03:06] It'll link you to at least January 10 that is used for the song.

[01:03:09] And then you'll find Chuck and you should follow him because he's awesome.

[01:03:13] Uh, I love Chuck.

[01:03:14] Uh, I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I love Chuck.

[01:03:18] Um, so I use the visual of an excerpt of a very small excerpt.

[01:03:27] Of January 10 in the image that I created.

[01:03:33] It's, it's the sound bars, uh, that are actually a part of, uh, the apprenticeship diaries, uh,

[01:03:41] intro and exit.

[01:03:43] And, uh, I felt like that was something that should always be a part of this because it

[01:03:51] is, you know, when you're doing audio, you see the sound bars, you catch all of these

[01:03:57] things.

[01:03:57] And, um, it becomes a visual that you see a lot.

[01:04:02] And I thought it was kind of neat.

[01:04:04] And I liked how SoundCloud did it too, because they have, they have the bars there and you

[01:04:12] can see how the music kind of goes and where the highs and the lows are.

[01:04:16] And then the way they also do it is they display it with two tones.

[01:04:22] So the things that you've already listened to are in a different color palette than the

[01:04:28] things that you have yet to listen to, which I thought was also very cool.

[01:04:33] And there was also this very neat, they do this with their, their bars.

[01:04:38] Um, they make them reflective so that there's kind of like almost a, a water mirror image

[01:04:49] that happens to the bars, which I thought was also very neat.

[01:04:55] Um, it's probably a lot of things I don't understand about actual sound bars, to be honest

[01:05:01] with you, but I love the visual of it.

[01:05:03] So I use that visual and I actually included a book in this new look because a lot of what

[01:05:13] I've gathered is from books.

[01:05:14] I'd love to read.

[01:05:16] I plan on being in the word.

[01:05:18] So having a book open, a specific book for me, but a book is something that I can unequivocally

[01:05:28] stand for, for anyone.

[01:05:31] Uh, pick up a book.

[01:05:32] You know, I had a, a friend recently asked me if I would consider teaching fundamental

[01:05:37] art online via zoom.

[01:05:40] And you know, if I would do that, if I've done it and I was just thinking to myself,

[01:05:47] you know, yes, that I learned things in art school for sure, but it was really important

[01:05:57] to be there.

[01:05:59] There's something about being there.

[01:06:02] That's very necessary.

[01:06:04] And I, I guess it's just because no matter what, you're going to have to interact with

[01:06:08] other people.

[01:06:09] If you hope to put food on your table, like you're, you're not going to be able to just

[01:06:15] be this cutoff autonomous person who never leaves their house.

[01:06:22] Um, art to me is a reconnection.

[01:06:27] It should, it should connect you to things.

[01:06:29] It should get you dirty.

[01:06:30] It should have you wrestle with things that are challenging.

[01:06:36] And part of it is the human element and being present.

[01:06:41] And there's so much that is not conveyed digitally.

[01:06:45] I have considered what she said, but I, in my heart, I was just thinking, why don't you

[01:06:52] just get, get your daughter what I had, which was books.

[01:06:58] I just got books.

[01:07:00] I'd get a book that would, and there's the books that I had about foundational drawing

[01:07:07] are the books that still exist for foundational drawing because foundational drawing is foundational

[01:07:12] drawing is foundational drawing.

[01:07:14] It's foundational.

[01:07:15] So you can, you can write a dozen books on it, but it's the same thing no matter what.

[01:07:21] And so the, the, the books that were from my time are still around and they're still accessible

[01:07:28] and you can probably rent them at the public library and get all you need from them.

[01:07:35] You know, if you'd like to ball on a budget, you know, like art, if you're really wanting

[01:07:41] it, which you better really want it.

[01:07:43] If you're going to pursue it as a job, you, you have to, you have to, um, should be the kind

[01:07:53] of thing that you are never satisfied with.

[01:07:59] And I, I say that in like, you're just, you're craving it constantly.

[01:08:06] Like as I'm sitting here and now I'm kind of bummed that I didn't have the length of string

[01:08:11] necessary to keep, keep embroidering.

[01:08:14] Cause that's something I'm doing right now.

[01:08:18] Um, and I've dabbled in that too.

[01:08:21] Um, it's with a, with a specific aim.

[01:08:24] Um, but yeah, I, I'm, I'm sad that as I'm talking, I wasn't able to keep embroidering.

[01:08:30] I probably wouldn't have been able to articulate as well.

[01:08:33] Uh, cause you have to whole ass, full ass, whole ass.

[01:08:38] One thing don't half ass, uh, Ron Swanson.

[01:08:42] Um, but yeah, I was kind of bummed that I didn't have, you know, my, my full length of,

[01:08:51] of string to keep embroidering as I was talking.

[01:08:55] And I am embroidering, you know, uh, you know, among painting, among tattooing, among talking

[01:09:03] and all these different things that, but I'm not satisfied.

[01:09:07] Like I'm never satisfied.

[01:09:08] Like once I'm done this embroidery project, I'm going to want another and I'm going to want

[01:09:12] another and I'm going to want another and I'm going to want another.

[01:09:14] I'm going to learn about that.

[01:09:16] You really don't have to go to school for any of that.

[01:09:22] Um, what you need to go to school for, at least in my opinion, is the social part is,

[01:09:29] is learning best tips about pitfalls of how not to set up your business, um, about marketing,

[01:09:35] advertising, um, learn the rules of those things, those systems so that you can utilize them

[01:09:44] for your own benefit.

[01:09:46] Um, I'm really excited about learning entry-level accounting.

[01:09:52] Um, I know it'll help me, but I'm also looking forward to, as I learn, sharing it with everyone,

[01:09:59] sharing what my issues are, what my struggles are, what I'm loving about it.

[01:10:07] Hopefully I'll love all of it.

[01:10:08] Um, I am doing it via Zoom.

[01:10:10] So I am experiencing an environment that, in a learning situation that I have never done

[01:10:17] before.

[01:10:18] I'll be conveying, I'm sure, a lot of the experience.

[01:10:23] I can't say if it's going to be good or bad.

[01:10:26] I don't know.

[01:10:26] I've never done it.

[01:10:27] So I will be talking about that in the future.

[01:10:32] Um, some people that I would like to have on, um, and one podcast that I hope to produce,

[01:10:40] uh, in the very near future is the last one that I did with Carol LeBaron.

[01:10:45] Uh, I still haven't, it's, it's a few years old now.

[01:10:49] It's at least a year old now.

[01:10:50] Um, I did not release her last recording with me.

[01:10:56] I feel really bad about it, but I, I really wanted to do a video version of it as well

[01:11:01] because I was exploring that space at that time.

[01:11:06] I still am.

[01:11:07] I like, I like shorts for videos.

[01:11:09] I don't really think if you're a podcast listener, it's really that essential to have

[01:11:14] too many visuals.

[01:11:17] Um, I kind of like audio only, but for advertising and for social posts and stuff, I think small

[01:11:25] video clips, reels, things like that are fun and they're fun to produce too.

[01:11:30] And, and they do take time.

[01:11:31] Um, they take far less time than producing a full length podcast, or at least to the length

[01:11:37] that I usually speak with someone.

[01:11:39] Um, so I do want to put that out there for everybody to, at the very least listen to,

[01:11:46] if not, um, if they don't get to look at the video version of that.

[01:11:52] Cause I owe Carol that much and she's a fantastic lady and everybody needs to know about her cause

[01:11:58] she's cool.

[01:11:59] She would be very happy to know that I've been embroidering, um, and sewing.

[01:12:03] So I, uh, I, I want to do that for her, uh, just kind of, you know, make good on a good,

[01:12:12] on a promise.

[01:12:13] And then, um, I would like to have Allie Oxenblood on as well again, because that lady is too cool.

[01:12:22] She really is really cool.

[01:12:24] She's somebody that I'm fascinated about and that I just think is the bee's knees.

[01:12:30] Um, and I, I talked with her for a long enough time that I should have gotten more about her

[01:12:38] apprenticeship, but I didn't.

[01:12:39] Uh, we just, we just kind of talked about a lot of stuff.

[01:12:42] We got a little bit of her apprenticeship, um, uh, an inclination that it was traumatic.

[01:12:47] Um, I'd like, I'd like to ask her more.

[01:12:49] I think there's a lot there.

[01:12:51] Um, and she's a really cool lady.

[01:12:54] Um, this February 1st is a, um, homeschooling convention in West Virginia that I'm going

[01:13:03] to attend.

[01:13:05] Uh, and, uh, she, she lives there and, uh, she's going to be going to the convention.

[01:13:11] She's the one who let me know about it.

[01:13:13] I realized that Maryland is different than West Virginia in their homeschooling program,

[01:13:18] but I don't know anything about it.

[01:13:21] So I figured I'd go because I, I truly don't like the public education system right now.

[01:13:30] I'm completely behind gutting it.

[01:13:34] Uh, just so y'all know.

[01:13:37] Um, I think it's really messing our kids up and it's costing us a lot of money to do that.

[01:13:45] At least here in Maryland, in Maryland, it's, it's almost $17,000 per kid a year.

[01:13:51] And the comprehension scores, uh, keep going down and, uh, they keep cutting things for kids.

[01:13:59] Like I've, I heard that like bus routes are being cut so that kids have to walk miles to their bus.

[01:14:06] I mean, these kinds of things for the amount of money that you pay should not happen.

[01:14:12] And it's deplorable.

[01:14:14] And, uh, for, for whatever teacher or somebody who wants to come at me, I'm, I'm arguing for the

[01:14:22] betterment of this.

[01:14:23] Nothing can remove the fact that you're an educator.

[01:14:27] Um, the issue is, are you able to educate in a way that actually meets your students

[01:14:35] and does so in a way that isn't restrictive to how you teach and what you know works.

[01:14:45] And a lot of this, the shackles of administration and stuff like that,

[01:14:50] who are the ones who get paid the most out of all of that money?

[01:14:54] Um, they make sure they are, um, they put all these shackles on you and you can barely teach.

[01:15:00] And it's a lot of nonsense and a lot of things that by the end of the day,

[01:15:05] you're lucky if you've reached a few, a few children.

[01:15:10] Um, but it just doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't end up helping you.

[01:15:15] And I find it to be very abusive of educators, uh, at least in my experience.

[01:15:21] And I, I think they run you guys down so much that by the end of it, you're just so upset

[01:15:29] and so bereft of like, you know, support that you, you end up lashing out at people like me

[01:15:36] who genuinely care about you, care about what you're trying to do and care about kids.

[01:15:41] Uh, I don't have kids, but I care about the future.

[01:15:45] So, you know, it is very important to me that we teach people in a way that helps them,

[01:15:53] helps them be good adults, helps them good, be good people.

[01:15:57] I, and that's what I said.

[01:15:58] I, I want this podcast to be something that helps, helps people that uplifts them,

[01:16:05] gives them something that, that they didn't have before that is beneficial to their life.

[01:16:10] And, and that's what I want.

[01:16:12] I, I just, I want to plant seeds and see what grows.

[01:16:16] And, uh, so I'm not against you.

[01:16:21] If you're an educator, I consider myself one in a big way.

[01:16:25] Um, I'm for you.

[01:16:29] I just, I, I want it to work.

[01:16:32] And what I see right now is that it doesn't work.

[01:16:36] I'm not seeing kids come out with the kind of skills that they need in order to profit them

[01:16:45] in a life ahead, being a happy, healthy, prosperous adult.

[01:16:52] Um, yeah, yeah, that, that, that's it.

[01:16:58] Um, and, and a lot of it I think is because I feel like, I don't know really, but the, the,

[01:17:18] I'm not sure, but it seems like a lot of it is people not really staying in their lane.

[01:17:26] Like they feel like they have to worry about the moral formation of someone.

[01:17:30] Um, in my time learning about, or at least investing in a relationship with God, um, as an educator,

[01:17:50] um, I don't know.

[01:17:55] You have the thing itself, how it's received and, and the moral whatever of the student.

[01:18:09] That is something that I don't know unless you are the kind of educator that is going to be

[01:18:19] married to that person long-term that you're really going to be able to, to handle.

[01:18:26] You kind of got to deal with the materials that you get and you kind of got to know what you're

[01:18:32] teaching and you kind of got to only worry about that.

[01:18:35] So for example, you get Billy, Billy comes from a staunch Christian background.

[01:18:45] Um, you're teaching Billy math.

[01:18:49] Um, your, your job is teaching Billy, no matter what his conceptions are of, you know, early

[01:19:05] human history or entomology or, uh, whatever your job really is teaching him math and math

[01:19:15] is grounded in facts, numbers, two plus two equals four.

[01:19:22] There's really nothing good or evil about that.

[01:19:26] It just is what it is.

[01:19:28] Um, the, the things that you might encounter is how does Billy act in your class?

[01:19:34] Is he a bully?

[01:19:35] Is he a dick?

[01:19:37] Does he have attention deficit disorder?

[01:19:40] You know, all these different things that you might as an educator in delivering math

[01:19:44] to Billy might be there, but Billy's moral foundation and formation are not really yours.

[01:19:57] They're his parents and they're his.

[01:20:01] And it will be something he has to deal with for the rest of his life.

[01:20:09] And you will not.

[01:20:11] Um, but what you can give him is a really good understanding of what you're aiming to teach

[01:20:19] him, which is math.

[01:20:21] And so if the goal is I got to teach Billy math, that's what you focus on.

[01:20:28] Um, so learning about how best to reach Billy specifically, what kind of things would, would

[01:20:37] get him to what you need him to know for me as a good educator, you know, like I know that

[01:20:44] his conception of things are based in this.

[01:20:47] So if I want him to understand this, then I, I I'll meet him here.

[01:20:55] But with math, it's very easy because it's not very easy.

[01:21:00] Some people have a mind for it and some of them people don't, but it's based in things

[01:21:07] that are, um, you know, math is math is math.

[01:21:13] It's transferable to other languages, other cultures, other things.

[01:21:18] It just, it, you have two or something, you add two or something it's for now.

[01:21:23] Like it just, it's that.

[01:21:25] So I think that's a good example, at least as far as I can communicate, but like, not that,

[01:21:32] not that I have taught math.

[01:21:36] I never have.

[01:21:36] I I've been fairly good at math and I'm about to learn more about math and in a very particular

[01:21:41] way.

[01:21:42] Uh, so I'll report about that guys.

[01:21:45] Um, I just, so you know, like that I'm not against educators.

[01:21:48] I'm not against being educated.

[01:21:50] Clearly.

[01:21:53] I just think that once it gets to a point in most areas where it's so big and so systematic

[01:22:04] and so controlled, it, it really robs the nuance needed in order to really do it.

[01:22:15] Um, when it grows to a scale where you're just trying to get as many bodies as possible

[01:22:21] and throw something at them, it really doesn't deliver quality.

[01:22:29] And so that's why I feel like we're here now, like, cause in my mom's day when it, when

[01:22:34] public education was newer, when Carter started the, um, you know, department of education,

[01:22:42] the board of education and started really, you know, formulating that, that the public

[01:22:48] education system that my mom had, she said, you know, it was like college level to what

[01:22:53] I received in public education growing up.

[01:22:57] And from what I can tell of the younger generations, not my nephew and niece, by the way, they are

[01:23:04] brilliant, but they have my brother as their dad and my brother's brilliant.

[01:23:08] So I don't know if that's even a good like tester, um, but, uh, the, the, the, the, the people

[01:23:17] that I have met in general that came from public education spaces of late, they're very kind.

[01:23:25] They're very kind people.

[01:23:27] And I do believe that kindness is good.

[01:23:32] Um, it's probably better than being smart, honestly, because I've met a lot of smart assholes,

[01:23:39] but, uh, very conscientious, but very anxious.

[01:23:43] And I feel like anxiety usually comes because you don't feel ready or you don't feel prepared

[01:23:51] or you don't feel up for it.

[01:23:52] And, and that suggests to me that they don't have the tools they need to actually approach

[01:23:58] some of these things that are very much so necessary to confront life.

[01:24:02] And so the, the education system is failing.

[01:24:07] Um, you know, you can just see it in the way that kids are emotionally and mentally, all of

[01:24:13] that, um, they're not up to the ability of people of my parents' generation and certainly

[01:24:23] not mine.

[01:24:24] And I'm, I'm a pretty weak, you know, like I'm a elder millennial.

[01:24:28] Like we're, we're anxious, anxious too.

[01:24:32] We're very nomadic.

[01:24:33] We're very like, you know, we're probably the ones that start, we're the ones who probably

[01:24:38] maintained all this shit.

[01:24:39] I don't know, but it's not like I come from a generation that had to struggle much at

[01:24:52] all.

[01:24:53] If at all, we kind of had a lot of blessings.

[01:24:57] So, um, you know, and if I'm, if I'm saying that, that the kind of stuff that this generation

[01:25:08] talks about being scared of or not knowing how to do is like, what, if I'm sitting there

[01:25:14] going, whoa, dude, like how, how do you, how do you do anything?

[01:25:21] Like, how are you going to scale from this?

[01:25:23] If I'm looking at that, then yeah, uh, things need to turn around and I'm using myself as

[01:25:31] a baseline there.

[01:25:32] So before you launch at me, I am very much so accepting my own flaws.

[01:25:36] As I say that, I hope that's clear.

[01:25:40] It's not, I'm not trying to come at anybody.

[01:25:44] Um, doesn't mean people aren't going to be mad.

[01:25:47] I know, uh, stepping into this realm of, you know, being seen, being me, all of it.

[01:25:55] But I accept that I'm not going to make people happy and that's cool.

[01:26:00] That's fine.

[01:26:02] I just need the integral crowd that comes here and like something.

[01:26:06] So with that diary listeners, uh, be prepared for new images and new looks, uh, things to

[01:26:15] turn around.

[01:26:16] It should be fun.

[01:26:17] It's definitely gonna be fun for me because that's the kind of stuff I like.

[01:26:19] And, uh, yeah, you're going to hear a lot about me this year.

[01:26:25] So if you're not down with that and you don't, you know, really want to do that.

[01:26:30] Cool.

[01:26:31] I hear you.

[01:26:32] I appreciate it.

[01:26:34] Um, God bless you no matter what.

[01:26:38] I love you.

[01:26:39] I appreciate you.

[01:26:41] Um, and have a very awesome, productive 2025.

[01:26:48] All right, listeners later.

[01:26:55] Thanks for listening.

[01:26:57] You can find the apprenticeship diaries on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

[01:27:01] Our IG is the underscore apprenticeship underscore diaries.

[01:27:04] If you would like to offer constructive criticism or an interview, drop us an email at the apprenticeship

[01:27:09] diaries at gmail.com.

[01:27:11] We look forward to hearing from our listeners.