Ep. 247 "January 28th" (How God moved this week)

[00:00:00] Good day and God bless diary listeners. We are in the year of our Lord 2025. Today and the title of this week's diary entry is going to be the date as it will be at least for the rest of 2025. So today's episode is going to be titled January 28th. I kind of like this. That's something I'm keeping makes it really easy for me folks. So, without further ado, enjoy.

[00:00:33] Welcome to The Apprenticeship Diaries where raw meets refined. Let's be real, we're still working on refined. What it took, what it takes, and the stories that are made. Join us as we learn from professionals about how their stories begin.

[00:00:55] Alright, diary listeners. So, I figured a few things out from last time. I'm always figuring things out. That's kind of the point of this whole show. As you know, if you're new to the show with this episode, there's been a lot of iterations of The Apprenticeship Diaries. In the beginning, it was a want to touch base with tattoo artists specifically about their apprenticeship journey.

[00:01:24] That was harder than I thought. I really didn't get the kind of catch on that I was hoping for. And it's funny because now, almost every tattoo podcast is like this. It's weird. It became easier later as, I think, podcasting became a media that people were more familiar with.

[00:01:50] But by that point, because it was so hard for me to even rope in my friends, my friends that I worked with to interview with me and just tell me about their apprenticeship. I morphed the apprenticeship diaries into more of a beginning story for professionals.

[00:02:16] You know, just people who pursued passion and were willing to talk about it. Because quite frankly, at that point, it was just like whatever takers I needed. And there's there's been a lot of different things that have happened along there. There were times that I didn't even have an interview or a person. Now I have a few backlog interviews that I want to see the light of day at some point.

[00:02:45] But at this stage, I'm now we started the podcast. It was I believe the first the first podcast went out September 1st of 2019. So we've been doing this now for what is that like five and a half years, you know?

[00:03:10] So I and and the podcast has grown perpetually. It is something that I care very much about as you might be new. And that's why I'm kind of giving you an overview. And I think it's good for people who aren't new, honestly, just to kind of get do a recap. That's that's the whole point. Right. Reflection, processing, all that good stuff.

[00:03:38] You know, growth, documentation, yada, yada. Uh, as as the show has grown very slowly, very integrally, very much so within the guise of what I really wanted, which I was very bound to that. And none of it worked. None of it worked the way I wanted it to. And so for me, when things don't work as I intend, it's a huge sign.

[00:04:09] And I push for this podcast to be a certain thing for a very long time. And it just never came to fruition like ever in the ways that I wanted. And a lot has happened to me personally that has even changed my relationship with my craft, my profession, which is tattooing along the way. So there's been a lot of things that have evolved in me in that way and in me personally.

[00:04:38] So one of the biggest things is that I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. It's it was a kick in the head. Let me tell you guys, because I I never like I never saw that being a thing. I never even imagined that being something that I would say in all honesty.

[00:05:02] It's something that I still feel really kind of odd about saying not because it isn't true and not because I don't love Christ and Jesus and all of that. It's and not because I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about it a lot. In fact, that's what this podcast has become for me, at least for this year.

[00:05:25] I want to give a year to shouting out my weekly walk with God and just the few things that come up and attempt to communicate with you guys how God works in my life.

[00:05:39] And I think it's valuable because I do think that that's what a pursuit of passion requires is kind of a surrender and a tenacity to fail and keep getting up again. And it's very biblical and it's what Christ asked us to do. Well, getting back to it, I never I never thought I would say those things.

[00:06:07] And a lot of it is because of what I know I felt about people truthfully when they would say those things and what I just didn't understand at that time. And, you know, it's wild to be on the other side of.

[00:06:29] I guess the revelation or the surrendering and to see what has brought into your life and to be able to remark on it and communicate it. So, yeah, that that is what this podcast has become at this point. It has always been a diary for me and a moving art piece, which has chronicled a lot of things.

[00:06:58] Growth in podcasting, for one, if you if you ever go back to the annals of the beginning of this podcast, the audio sucked in the very beginning because I I independently would would record it and I'd record it on my cell phone. I didn't have I didn't have I didn't have equipment. I didn't know what equipment to have. I bought a lot of things I shouldn't have bought that were way too expensive and way not what I needed.

[00:07:26] Special kind of thanks to my cousin Eric, who had me buy this crazy audio software that I didn't need. Um, and I still have but like, I don't need it. And even right now I don't I don't really need the software that I use, which is audition on Adobe Photoshop, but I do pay for the full Adobe suite. So why not use it right?

[00:07:55] Um, before that I used audacity just for anybody who wants to start a podcast. Audacity is great. That's all you need. Um, let's see. Is it audacity? I think it's called audacity. I think it's called audacity. Hopefully I'm not wrong about that. Uh, anyway, diary listeners, newbies, if you should be checking out the podcast.

[00:08:26] This week has been kind of an interesting one. I guess it's interesting to me. Um, and I hope it'll be interesting to you. The theme for this week, at least as far as I can tell, has been women. Women's issues. And, um, we just, a lot of different things that I have noticed.

[00:08:53] So I'm a woman, uh, obviously, uh, we, we have entered a phase as far as our, um, politics and everything where it has been declared, uh, that God made man and woman and that those are the sexes.

[00:09:12] Now I've read some things, um, which, you know, I don't, I don't know the intense biological nature of certain things, but one of the things that I read on a post that was, I think, defending, um, the, the, the different ways our bodies are comprised and, uh, you know, how we're,

[00:09:38] we're born and what kind of hormonal kind of iterations we have in our bodies. Um, I read this one thing and this is just anecdotal. It's hilarious to me, but I read that if. If a person with XX chromosomes, which would make you female, by the way, XY is male.

[00:10:01] Uh, but if you had XX chromosomes and you didn't produce enough cortisol hormone, stress hormone, by the way, you would develop a body like a male. Um, which led me to comment on my friend's page and basically, or my friend's posts and say, so I just want to pause for a second and know the fact that if you don't produce enough stress hormone, you will develop a body like a man.

[00:10:30] So this is scientific proof that no man should ever, ever tell a woman to relax. Um, I just felt that was funny. Listen guys, I know a lot is happening in our country right now and people are scared.

[00:10:47] Um, one thing that I, I want to be very clear about in terms of at least a biblical message, uh, just to dispel anything else is that it says 365 times in the Bible to fear not. That is a very potent message.

[00:11:15] One that you have enough times to recite to yourself every single day of the year, rinse, wash and repeat because the point is, is that no human, no worldly thing. Everything determines you. Okay. God determines you. God is your highest. Okay.

[00:11:41] If you rest in God, there literally is nothing to fear. So my advice to anyone who is afraid is to start a relationship with God. Um, if you don't believe in God, then I, I, I need you to at least try. I need you to at least, because I've, I've heard from atheists and they, you know, the graceful

[00:12:11] ones will say that they envy people like me who believe in God. Um, because honestly, if there, if, if we were to hack that, they would, they would say I'm simple minded. Uh, I'm, I'm fairly certain. And, you know, they would probably put on people like me who are Christ followers that were uneducated, um, et cetera, et cetera. And so on that we're blind.

[00:12:41] Um, it couldn't be further from the truth. It's just simply that we know the answer to things and really it's to not overthink it, uh, because overthinking it, as far as I can tell, doesn't help anything.

[00:13:06] Um, now to come with genuine questions, to ask genuine questions, to seek answers, all of that is well and good, as long as you're seeking it from the right source. And I find, and I have seen this week, a lot of friends and people very scared who,

[00:13:36] as far as I can tell are, how do I want to phrase this? It's clear they don't have a relationship with God. Uh, it's clear that they're asking of the wrong spaces. It's clear that they're condemning, uh, the wrong spaces.

[00:14:03] I mean, honestly, the, the biggest condemnation that any of us, I think could really do to benefit ourselves is a, a self conviction, you know, looking deep in the mirror and really finding the flaws within our own characters. And, and that honestly is what our walk with Christ calls us to do because it calls us to, to accept that we are not perfect and to accept that we need salvation because try as we might,

[00:14:33] it's not going to be enough to grapple with the weight of all that is around us. But with God, we, we will have that kind of backup. And I've been asking people to, throughout the week, fall into God and to accept it. Because if you don't believe, I mean, come on guys, what's the harm in trying?

[00:14:57] What's, what's the harm in genuinely, genuinely trying to understand? Because it's, it's really, for me, it's kind of arrogant to sit on the outside and be like, you know, to, to think of the people who believe as simple or to think of the people, you know, that believe as, um, you know, blind or whatever.

[00:15:26] It alleviates the responsibility that you have to genuine looking at it from a different angle and asking yourself some serious questions. And what would be the worst that could happen to you if, if you just dared to try, you know, but otherwise you're, you're just kind of letting yourself off the hook

[00:15:48] and you're choosing more than that to see a lot of the fellow humans around you as terrible, uh, inadequate, stupid, simple-minded people. And I got to tell you guys, uh, that is something that I've been hearing a lot from, from people is that they, they, they like to frame,

[00:16:17] and I can only comment it on, on, in the Christian or the Christ follower way. They, they like to frame the commandments and laws given to us by God as hateful and that we're hateful. And I, I think that that's a wild statement coming from people who really don't try to understand it from another side,

[00:16:45] who definitely send down their own condemnation to others, that actively choose to see their fellow human being, uh, the way I just described about people who follow Christ. So it, so it's major hypocrisy and it's, and it's not like we lack it. I mean, Christ followers doesn't mean that you're perfect.

[00:17:10] And I, along with, um, women being a huge theme this week, um, that has been a theme that I've had to remind people in my life of. We're all sinners. Do not, do not come at people as if you, you, you, you know, know more than they do that you're, you know, self-righteous.

[00:17:38] Uh, I, I personally have fallen into that a lot. I've, you can hear it again. If you dip back into the annals of this podcast, you can hear it in my voice. You can hear it in everything I've done in my past. And I'm so grateful that, that I documented it so that there's a whole litany of people who follow the show from day one who can convict me of that and remind me that I've been that kind of person. I've been that kind of egomaniac, arrogant son of a gun.

[00:18:09] And I, I don't like that I've been that way. I don't like that. I'm probably still going to be that way in some ways, but it, but it's the truth. And I think that if you aren't convicting yourself to the truth and if you're not seeking truth and you, you, you definitely are not, at least in my eyes, in any kind of position to be lashing out at other people and wagging your finger and saying, you know, better because quite frankly, you don't know what you don't know.

[00:18:37] And, and that's huge, you know? Uh, it is huge, you know, you know, no, you don't know. Um, uh, and it's the path of learning things. Like I said, it, it requires a consistency, a tenacity, a kind of blind determination to

[00:19:03] keep walking, to keep stumbling, to keep climbing, to keep getting hurt, to keep bouncing back. It's exhausting. And I'm, I'm only 43 guys. So I can't even imagine how exhausting it is when she gets to my parents' age where, you know, their bodies are not what they used to be. Um, you know, all of this, it's, it's life is not easy.

[00:19:32] What I will say is I don't know who promised you it would be. Um, I don't, I don't, I don't know who promised you that. I also don't know who, well, I do know who. I'd like to clarify something that came up this week too and just put it out there.

[00:19:58] It's kind of a side tangent, but I was listening to James Lindsay on New Discourses, which if you don't know that podcast, check it out guys. He does deep dives into a whole bunch of different stuff, very intellectual gentleman. Um, he considers himself, I think agnostic. I think he accepts that there is a God. Um, he was atheist and I think has come around to more of an agnostic view.

[00:20:26] Um, but he has a lot of respect for the Bible. And I think that that at least is an honest seeking of information and wisdom. And I just don't think that he's very light to come around to, uh, anything. Honestly, if you listen to him, you'll know, but he did a deep dive into, um,

[00:20:52] uh, the woke right, which a lot of people on the right side of politics loathe that term, but it's a thing. And, you know, whatever we can do to label each other and put someone in a box, right? And be like, well, you're, you're that. I'm not that. Right. You know, and, um, he was addressing this, uh, situation that he saw online between these

[00:21:21] two characters and one was older and one was younger and it was two men and, you know, kind of the allure of the woke right kind of syndrome, which I do think that we have to be vigilant of in this country. And these were two men and James Lindsay is a man. So I think that this is a, a caution that he's putting out there as another man, um, as,

[00:21:47] as a, what I would consider a very good leader voice intellect in, in, in that space and from that sex and position. And, you know, the, the woke right is kind of very attractive to a lot of men, just like the woke left was very attractive to a lot of women.

[00:22:15] And those were a lot of the people who, uh, you know, came, came up with the woke left, but the woke right is a more of a, as he put it in Andrew Tate kind of male, um, observance. And it's this winner's win kind of thing. And it's all about winning.

[00:22:43] And, you know, I've met people who do like winning who doesn't, but that wasn't, that wasn't their mantra at its core. Their mantra at its core was very moral and principle, which is like, you, you don't steal other people's things. You don't hurt other people, you know? So, so biblical things, right?

[00:23:11] Like, you know, if, if you can't win without pushing somebody else down, then that's not winning. Not in the end, not, not per God. You're going to ultimately be damning yourself to do that. And, um, he does his most recent podcast is all about this. So I won't belabor it too much, but right before I got on and started recording here and now,

[00:23:40] it just popped into my head. What woke means to me because everybody's trying to define it. They don't know, they don't know how to define it, but I think what woke is, as far as I have been able to quantify it at this point is a false sense of safety.

[00:24:01] The, the, the illusion of safety, doing what you feel is safest, not what is right and best, but what is safe. And I think that that is what makes a person of the world. You know, the Bible and God calls us to be in the world, but not of the world.

[00:24:28] And so, and he also calls us to not fear a physical death. I mean, he calls us to not be afraid at all, um, because he's got us right. Like if we, if we follow God and we listen to God and we ask of God, God's got us eternally and we will experience eternal life.

[00:24:53] But if we turn from that and we, you know, choose to damn our immortal soul by lashing out and judging and hurting and besmirching and whatever, and, and, and engaging in these, these terrible, terrible,

[00:25:19] terrible, um, parts of human life that just simply, I mean, if, if it, you know, like by all accounts in the world, you'll look like you're, you know, you're kicking butt, but your soul is slowly dying. It just, it propped in my head to the picture of Doreen Gray.

[00:25:48] And if you haven't read that book, definitely do. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna summarize it for you because I don't want this podcast to be obnoxious, but, and I'll get to why it's a very women focused thing in a second. But as I was getting to the, um, you know, this thing, I want to call our attention to a book that I'm still reading. It's not a big book, by the way, I just read slow and I don't find many times to actually have a physical, tangible book. I'm a listener.

[00:26:17] Uh, so, you know, if I'm listening to a podcast or a book on tape, I can do laundry. I can do a whole bunch of stuff. I can do my art, but to actually give my attention solely to one thing, especially in my home where my husband, God love him, loves, I mean, we'll, we'll go whole moments where he doesn't talk to me and we'll just be sitting there.

[00:26:43] And as soon as I pick up a book, it's just nothing but questions that he's asking me or trying to talk to me or tell me something that I'm just like, why are you talking to me now? But anyway, I love him. He is, he's a very kind, beautiful husband who's been rocking it, by the way. After I get off here, it's going to be a fervent dedication to cleaning my house because it has, I have been slacking guys like bad. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's the snow. I don't know.

[00:27:13] I don't know. It's just, I have not been cleaning my home as I should. It's not like it's deplorable, but it's definitely not up to standard. But I wanted to read for you guys this, I've moved past this in my reading, but I liked, I dog-eared this section of the book and I wanted to read this small excerpt. It's page 121 of Radical by David Platt, who apparently went woke. I don't know what that means.

[00:27:38] I have my definition for what it means, but I haven't had a deep dive into David. I do like this book though. And I do think that this book speaks a lot of truth. And I do think that it has an inspiration to it and, and is led by something he was very much so feeling about what God was talking to him about.

[00:28:03] And he had to write it down and just, just like a lot of, a lot of us, you know, who walk with God, you know, we, we were inspired continually by God and how he speaks to us and moves in us and utilizes our gifts. And with this guy, um, he was, I think moved because he led a huge church, like right out of seminary school.

[00:28:30] I believe he adopted like this ginormous church and he was really, really, really, really, I think torn with how America, especially, um, American Christianity looks. And these mega churches and, and quite honestly, guys, like I feel him because, um, I've been to them and you don't, you don't feel God in them.

[00:28:59] I mean, you, you, if you come to be entertained, then you'll be entertained, but you know, you'd be able to do that if you went to like the Coliseum of Rome and saw somebody be gouged out by a lion or something like that. Like it's very, uh, I don't know. The productions are huge. I read a little bit of, um, his ideas of things last week, but this page stood out, uh, this past week.

[00:29:28] So the, the passage begins never is, and, or wait a minute, let me, let me start the whole sentence. However, Jesus was not, and never is interested in being seen as a respectable teacher. He is the sovereign Lord. He doesn't give options for people to consider. He gives commands for people to obey. So then what if he told you and me to sell everything we have? What if he told us to sell our houses for simpler living arrangements?

[00:29:58] What if he told us to sell our cars for more modest ones for no cars at all? What if he told us to give away all, but a couple sets of clothes? What if he told us to empty the savings account we have built for years, if not decades? What if he told us to change our lifestyles completely? Now, before you and I think of all the reasons he would not tell us to do these things, we need to think about this question first.

[00:30:27] Is he Lord? Are you and I looking to Jesus for advice that seems fiscally responsible according to the standards of the world around us? Or are we looking to Jesus for total leadership in our lives, even if that means going against everything our affluent culture and maybe even our affluent religious neighbors might tell us to do?

[00:30:50] Jesus never intended to be one voice among many counseling, many counseling us on how to lead our lives and use our money. He always intends to be the voice that guides whatever decisions we make in our lives and with our money. So that was very potent for me this week, mostly because I had a very expensive week.

[00:31:19] I mean, it was about, I think I spent over like $1,500 this week in various ways. Um, more than that, actually, because I just put down payment, full payment for two booths at Baltimore Tattoo Convention, which by the way is $1,550, I believe is what it was. Yeah.

[00:31:45] So, um, been an expensive week, uh, not, not cheap at all. And I was very convicted by those statements because, you know, I, I do search my heart and soul a lot about, you know, what's needed and what's not. And I, I do think that that strikes us a lot more sometimes as women, because I think we try

[00:32:13] to convince ourselves that we, we need the hair and we need the makeup and we need the youth and we need the, you know, sexy outfit. And we need, we need all these things in order to be happy. Uh, the house, the everything, I mean, in my mind, a clean house, we, we need all this stuff. And, um, you know, it, it's a fair question. It's not one that has really settled in any answers for me, but I will say that this week

[00:32:40] I was, I was kind of like, I could feel my body cringing for how much money I was spending and just kind of thinking, wow, Amy, you know, you don't, you don't have money like that right now. Like I've had a lot of cancellations this week. Um, and for the past month or so, uh, December is it's a famine time and tattooing people cancel left and right. They forget about Christmas and the holidays. And, you know, Hanukkah started right, right when Christmas did.

[00:33:10] So even, you know, if, if you don't even practice Christmas, you know, it was, it was something for you. So, you know, it's an expensive time of the year. And I, I didn't feel the kind of shell shock price tag shock, um, that I felt last week that I felt for Christmas, like Christmas felt a lot better than last week. Um, or this past week, this past week was expensive.

[00:33:33] And, um, but I kept, I kept saying to myself, these, these are investments, you know, like they're investments in a lot of things that I'm aiming for. And I'm, I'm praying we'll have great returns. Uh, as I said, the Baltimore tattoo convention I'm doing, I'm doing with my friend Tara and,

[00:34:00] um, my other friend Jetta, who is a New York tattoo artist. She owns a studio up there called Evita Tattoo. And, um, you know, these are two women that I, I worked with last year and I really enjoyed. Um, I, I'm, I'm looking forward to, uh, doing it with them this year and rocking, rocking out.

[00:34:24] Um, but yeah, like again, you know, women, uh, women, I, I, I can't, I don't think I can avoid women. I have, I have, I have less, uh, comfortability with women, honestly, than I do men. Um, it's interesting to me. Um, but I love them. I think they're beautiful. I think they're awesome.

[00:34:52] I just don't find the peace in other women that I think a lot of women find in women. Uh, I don't find the camaraderie. I, I struggle with that. And, uh, I, you know, I, I really don't know what it is guys. I really don't know what it is. I, I just, I like, I like how men process things. I like how they logically look at them. I, I, I like how funny they are. I like how they don't take things so seriously.

[00:35:22] I guess I am, I'm reminded of the whimsy in men and I'm, it makes me laugh and it makes me feel good. And I guess I just like being around my compliment, you know, I can give them, maybe that's more normal than not. I don't know, but, but it's like, it's like two similar energies. I'm with women and there's only very few of them that I've actually found, um, great, great relationships with.

[00:35:49] And if we're honest, those are relationships that we kind of keep a lot of boundaries with. We don't see each other often. We see each other, um, you know, a couple of times a year and it's always good. I would have to imagine that if it was any closer or more in depth, it probably would not be good. Um, I don't know, but probably not. Um, I'm, I mean, I'm, I mean, my husband probably, I mean, you know, my husband annoys me.

[00:36:18] So like, and I love him and he's a man and he's definitely, uh, a man, like a man, man. And so I, you know, uh, I can't even say for men that, you know, on a continual basis that everyone, you know, gets a pass. I'm a weirdo man. Like I, I am very mercural and in the ways that I feel and think. So, um, why are women the theme for this past week?

[00:36:47] I was flipping through my notes in, um, in, uh, you know, I go to Bible study and I've kept, I've kept a journal since I started going to church. And it's funny because, uh, I was a part of the Nomad Network back in 2020. I, I kind of joined a group of entrepreneurial spirit, freedom fighters, kind of people space

[00:37:15] under the, the leadership of Jason Stapleton, whom I actually emailed today randomly. I just thought about him and, uh, he, he always writes like emails to us, just gives us, you know, he called them as daily alchemy letters at one point. He's always changing, uh, the way that he markets. But I think, you know, that in itself is a leadership thing to kind of show us that,

[00:37:44] you know, you don't have to be locked in. You, you can morph, you can morph over time and you should morph over time. You should grow. You should expand. You should, you know, hone, you should cut the fat of things. You shouldn't hold on to things that don't serve you anymore. So, um, I forget, I forget what happened or what, maybe I won something.

[00:38:09] I don't remember what it was, but I ended up getting this diary, this, this journal. And it's a really nice journal. It's like, I think moleskin or something. And it's got a cool little pocket in the back. And it's just really, it's nice. It's, it's got like a nice feel. It's gray. It's cool. And ever since I started going to Bible study and to church, I've used this.

[00:38:33] Well, recently, and as of last week, because last week's podcast, like it was hard guys. Like I wasn't coming to me. My, my mouth was getting dry. I haven't been drinking enough water by the way, just from there to here. I think it's a woman thing too. I don't know, but haven't been drinking enough water, but my, my mouth feels less dry today. And I have a lot more planned, a lot more that I can talk to you about.

[00:39:01] And it was because I took notes last time about what worked and what didn't work. And, you know, I was kind of led into last week with a false confidence that, you know, the, the week before was going to give me a grounding of what, what would be in the future. Well, it didn't, uh, it didn't work out that way. And, um, so I started taking a lot of notes beyond just Bible study, which is usually the

[00:39:30] only thing I document in, in this book. But as of last week, I started just writing everything that happened to me bullet pointed throughout the day and the week. And, uh, that's how I kind of came up with this, you know, women are a theme kind of thing because, um, as of, let's see, let's see, let's see. Um, I want to make sure that I get it right.

[00:39:59] Um, what do we do? We do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Uh, sorry guys. I thought I was, I thought I was more on top of this. I saw my friend John Simmons name. So shout out to him. I think it's a, it's a good thing to highlight. Um, but the first thing I noted when I flipped through here, and I guess it's not important that I find the exact thing.

[00:40:26] Um, but, but it was written, uh, down in here, um, that Wes Moore on Friday, here it is. This was the 17th of, so it was January 17th. Wes Moore signed in that, uh, our constitution would change, uh, that would ensure reproductive rights, um, which is a smokescreen for abortion.

[00:40:57] Now, this week has been filled with women, women's issues, and even this issue particularly. And one thing that I will say that I was very happy about in this administration right off

[00:41:18] the cuff was the pardoning of, well, one, the January sixers, but also, um, pro-life activists who had been imprisoned for the face act. Uh, and we're, we're, these aren't light sentences that they've had, by the way. Um, they're huge sentences.

[00:41:43] I wrote during Christmas, uh, a Christmas card, which, which the guidelines for this was ridiculous, but I drew her a little picture and her and a couple other people who, um, were in prison for violations of the face act. But Heather Idoni actually visited our church. She was lovely. Uh, we prayed for her, um, right before her sentencing.

[00:42:09] And, uh, I, I believe that she got like years in prison and was pardoned from that. But in the time that she had spent, which I think it was, I don't think it was quite a year that she spent in prison. She got moved 28 times and they do that. So you don't, you don't get comfortable. It's, it's like a, it's like a torture thing. Um, you never have rest.

[00:42:38] You never have peace. You never, and you know, I, I guess for, I guess for a murderer, that would be great. But this is a person who didn't murder anybody. In fact, this was a person who was trying to express a, a very potent, uh, value system for life.

[00:43:06] So much so that she, uh, joined people to hopefully deter a woman from taking the life of her child. Um, and you know, I don't know the full extent of the cases, but what I do know is the opposite. What I do know is that, um, the other side of the political spectrum raised funds to bail

[00:43:33] out BLM rioters who literally built, burnt down their communities and set fire to government buildings. Um, you know, I, I know that the FACE Act has, um, called attention to a few people who have burnt down or vandalized birthing centers, but most of them haven't had prison time. They had charges pushed against them, but they didn't have prison time.

[00:44:03] And those charges were only really, I think, accounted for because it was becoming very clear that there was an inappropriate, uh, distillation of, of punishment using the FACE Act. And it was mostly falling on the heads of pro-lifers.

[00:44:28] And so with Wes Moore doing this, um, I felt like it was important for me to comment on it. I also had a girlfriend of mine show me a video of Beverly. Oh, her last name. I want to say it's Miller, but I, I don't want to get it wrong. So I'm going to look it up, but she was another pro-life activist and, um, and she got released, praise God.

[00:44:53] And, um, my friend Mary sent me the video of her release and, um, and I, I basically said, praise God, you know, like that, that poor woman did not deserve to be in there. That was terrible. You know, she should have never been in prison like that. And, um, where the hell? Oh my God. Here we go. Sorry, everyone.

[00:45:23] Sorry, Lord. I try not. It's a Beverly or Beverly, Beverly, Beverly, Beverly, Beverly, Beverly. I'm sorry. I got her whole name wrong. I read it wrong. Beverly Williams is her name. So I totally got her name wrong, but it's, it's just basically her reuniting with her family at the airport after her sentencing. She didn't even have a jacket on her. She's got this terrible sweatpants garb on and stuff. And she's reunited with her husband and her small baby.

[00:45:53] Um, you know, it, it, it's incredible to me that, and, and what I said to my friend when she came back to me and said that her cousin, I don't know the sex of this cousin, but her cousin basically parroted all the main talking points and the conviction itself. And said that she deserved it. She deserved to be in there and that she, she got in the way of people's right to, uh, dictate

[00:46:22] their own reproductive lives. And that she deserved prison. And I, I, I just don't know how you can rationalize that other than just camping and what's easiest and what, what you don't want to actually think about really like that. You, you just, you don't want to care about it.

[00:46:48] You know, it doesn't affect you because you're not going to make certain choices or you're not the one in prison or you're not going to be protesting anything. So it doesn't matter to you. But that position is wild to me, uh, at this point. And let me be clear. I am both pro-life and pro-choice. Just my, my feeling is, is that you can't be pro-choice without being pro-life because if there isn't life, there isn't choice.

[00:47:14] So, you know, I believe that choice needs to be considered for every single party involved. And since women don't spontaneously get pregnant, that includes the man that helped her get that way. It also includes the life that is growing inside of her who doesn't have a voice yet.

[00:47:40] And it also includes, um, the family in general, you know, people who are going to be affected by this long-term, um, you know, just in, just in every way. I mean, that's a legacy, that's family, that's connection. That's, that's, that's what we're here to do. Um, and you have to look at what you're sacrificing it for, especially you ladies.

[00:48:11] It's all for frivolous sex. I mean, if you can't look at that and say, I mean, I, I was a hussy when I was younger. So don't think that I'm not examining myself. I mean, there was, there was days of the week where I was with multiple people and not, not in one day, just, just during the week. Sorry, the clarification, but like, I, I, I have my time as a whore. Let me tell you.

[00:48:39] And, uh, I have no compunction about saying that. And I have no compunction about, um, the word because that's exactly, uh, what it was. It wasn't that I, I mean, maybe a hell would be better because I didn't get paid for it. Um, so I was, it was, it was worse, honestly, than being a whore, at least a whore. There's financial gain. Not for me. It was, it was just pure hoe.

[00:49:06] Um, and you know, but I never wanted kids. And so I was very adamant about contraception. Um, I've used plan B before, uh, you know, I've, I've called, um, planned parenthood before back when you had to call back when plan B wasn't over the counter back when it was a lot harder to maintain, um, a child free life.

[00:49:34] And back when they didn't sterilize you on demand either, um, which they're willing to do now. Um, so I, and I, and I don't think women understand how much the pendulum has swung from rare, safe and legal, you know, I've seen the videos folks of people saying that they are comfortable

[00:50:01] with a woman's choice to kill her baby up to an after birth. That's not abortion. That's infanticide. That is the moral decline of a society. That's that. If anything is some wacky satanic shit right there. And I, again, have no compunction about using the word satanic. That is some satanic shit.

[00:50:30] That is some snow piercer dystopian nightmarish crap right there. And any woman who thinks that that's okay and that that's something that, that you have a right to. I mean, first of all, if you're an atheist and you believe in rights, you're not an atheist because where do rights come from? Okay. Okay.

[00:50:54] You have to believe in something to believe in rights because rights are not in, in nature. The only right you have is, uh, you know, to live and die another day. You know, like there isn't, you don't have a right to education. You don't have a right to eat. You don't have a, no, no, those are not just a given. Okay. I think we can be clear about that.

[00:51:23] So when Wes Moore did this and when Marilyn especially overwhelmingly voted to this, my heart just broke, but it was redeemed a bit with the pardons that, that Donald Trump gave to the pro-lifers. And I told my friend who sent me her cousins, just basically parroted nonsense.

[00:51:48] Uh, that there's a lot to this issue, but basically that, uh, uh, a person that believes that way is doing themselves no favor. They need to wake up. They need to think about it. They need to find God.

[00:52:12] And they do need to understand, um, that a society built on that amount of blood is a society that's doomed to fail. I brought a lot more into it. It was a much more in-depth thing, but ladies, women, I know we've been through a lot, you know, it's just like, I'm not going to say that there hasn't been pain and suffering. There is pain and suffering. That's how you grow.

[00:52:42] That's what I've been trying to express here. You know, in this life, in this fallen world as sinners, we're not going to escape suffering and no, we're going to feel it here. You know, that, that, that's, uh, that's just, I think what you have to fall into and in a big way.

[00:53:06] Um, but you have, you have to look forward and you have to mark the advancements of things in time and grow and, and, and let things grow and not work out of fear. And I feel like a lot of this, um, this want to change the legal documents of our state

[00:53:32] is because we don't have good leaders, good enforcers and people who will do the right thing when they need to do the right thing. Um, because overall, I think women are really prone to making good calls. But I think that if you leave a woman hopeless, helpless, and alone, she's going to make the call that she has to make, or that she at least feels like she has to make.

[00:54:02] And I feel like women in this issue have felt very alone. And, you know, it, it, it's because of a lot of things we, we have been pushed to, um, really wage war against our counterparts, which are men to vilify them, to see them as our enemy. We have really, um, been asked to not trust them.

[00:54:32] Families have been broken up. There has been villainy against women, uh, where their bodies have been violated, trauma. And, you know, I believe that that, the reason why you'd feel like you have to change your law to suit a woman murdering her child, because that's what it is, is a product of, of, uh,

[00:55:03] a population and a civil order that really has no order, that really has no justice. Because if you think about it, if, if, if a woman actually got justice and, and reconciliation for the damage is done, or actually got support from the men in her life, or got justice for if she was raped or, you know, something horrible happened to her.

[00:55:33] Do you think that a woman would feel the need to do that? I'm not, I'm not so sure. But see, we don't live in a society that holds our villains accountable. You know, that's the truth. And that's the other thing that I honestly love about this new, um, political system as, as it stands today.

[00:55:58] The executive branch of our government is, is really throwing down the hammer and it needs to be done. And, and I don't want to hear, cause I've, I, this was with a man online that I got into it about the, the female Bishop, which was the other thing that came up this week who opened the, um, basically the, the national prayer.

[00:56:22] But he, he was kind of coming at me and being like, all she did was ask Trump to be nicer, nicer as if he's being mean. Let me be clear. He's the chief executive officer of this country. It's not about being nice or being mean. It's about doing the job. That's what it's about.

[00:56:55] Nice, unnice, good people versus bad people. This is not the dictate of the president. It is a matter of him to do what is right and what is lawful. So it does not make any sense to live in a country that gives less time to rapists and

[00:57:17] murderers and, and release them back out into the public, by the way, and sponsor their welfare in many cases than it is to, to vilify and imprison pro-life advocates. Okay.

[00:57:39] And I just want y'all to know right now that if you stop listening to me as a result of this, fine, fine. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it because it needs to be said. And it's, it's what I feel convicted to say, uh, in the world, not of the world. Don't go woke. All right.

[00:58:05] And it's not that you'll go broke, not in the financial sense. It's that you will go morally and soulfully bankrupt. That is what will happen. So what else was the, the female thing? Well, I mentioned the Bishop. She's not a Bishop. Okay. That's not biblical.

[00:58:28] I did have one person online say that they had some passages in the Bible that set precedent for, for women being pastors, which I haven't looked into yet. I have to admit, I have not looked into it, but I did note the passages and I do intend to look it up and I will report back next week, next week with that. However, from my understanding, it is not biblical for women to be heads of the church.

[00:58:58] It's not even biblical for women to be the head of a marriage. That is a man's role. Now, before people lash out at me in regards to that, it is a man's role also to love a woman like Christ loved the church. To be willing to sacrifice himself for the church, because that's what Christ did.

[00:59:23] So before you wag your finger about how a man, you know, like that's what's wrong with everything. Okay. The man has a very high duty too. Okay. They, they have dropped. Like I said, I am not discounting the things that got us to this point. Those things have happened. There was a lot of suffering. There was a lot of malfeasance. There was a lot of inappropriate things that happened and lacking of justice that have made us double down

[00:59:53] and double down and double down wrong after wrong after wrong. Just pushing the goalposts more to where we are now in Maryland anyway. Okay. With a woman killing her children. We're also okay with pretty much the state dictating a lot of things with our kids. I think that's also what was in that, that bill. But I digress.

[01:00:20] That bishop, first of all, just beyond just her not being really a biblically recognized head of a church, you just don't do what she did. You don't single out a person in a congregation like that. That's not what, that's not what any head of a church is supposed to do.

[01:00:50] Okay. That makes somebody feel unwelcome in the house of God. And it points fingers and wags fingers. And, you know, this is supposed to be a person who's a vessel of God's love, God's truth, everything. So there's ways in which she could have said what she said without the condemnation, the pointed fingers.

[01:01:19] And also, I just, I love how she like really put down immigrants too. Like she, she made them medial workers. You know, like they're, they're the ones who do all of the jobs that we don't want to do. I mean, that's like so insulting. I mean, there's so many reasons to criticize this woman, but those are just a few.

[01:01:48] So then at church and during the week, I also, um, because I had a lot of cancellations, guys. I didn't have a lot of work. I do tattoo tomorrow, but I really am not tattooing much these days because flu season, everything. Um, I also told everybody about Sophia, which is a, um, it's a, it's a Russian series, uh, about Sophia of Russia

[01:02:17] and how she was one of the first like notable female figures in Russia. And she is Italian by birth, but she was born into like Orthodox religion, Orthodox Christianity, which isn't the same. I've come to learn as Catholicism.

[01:02:39] And she was being married, basically shipped off, uh, as a political move by the Pope because she comes from an affluent family to the czar of Russia at the time, who is also Orthodox.

[01:02:57] And the Pope was hoping that she would convert the czar and spread this one world government that the Catholics have been trying to do for all time, space memoriam. Um, and truthfully, guys, I'm not Catholic. So I'm about, I'm about to kind of dog them a bit.

[01:03:23] Um, anybody who I've ever met who has a lot of aversion to Christianity and who seems like they've been hurt by the faith, the majority of them have always been Catholic. I've noticed that they're recovering Catholics. Um, I've learned recently about Jesuits, which is basically like the CIA armed guard of the Catholics.

[01:03:48] One of their favorite ways to take you out is by poison, which also happens to be in this, in this series. Now I didn't get to watch this series very long because Rico was kind of mad that it was all subtitles and it was both an Italian and Russian. But I was loving it. And, um, uh, I also think it was very true.

[01:04:13] Um, what I liked about it especially is so far anyway, it's not overly sexual. It's not, it's, it's not gory to a point where it's like, I mean, compared to the things that we're used to, it just seems like a proper account.

[01:04:32] And it also, uh, I think is showing, uh, the, the spirit of this woman who her name wasn't Sophia, uh, in the beginning. She got re-baptized because, uh, her husband needed to know that she was of the Orthodox faith and he, he needed her to commit to him.

[01:05:01] And, and, and she was like, yeah, man, like, first of all, I'm, I am of the Orthodox faith, but if you need this of me, I will do it because I'm, I'm, I'm committing to this. You know, I'm committing to you. I'm committing to this life. You know, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm sacking up here. She didn't know the language, you know, like, can you imagine marrying somebody that you don't know their language?

[01:05:28] Going, going in on the first night of your, your wedding, your marriage bed, not knowing how to speak to your partner. Um, so she's like, she's learning Russia, Russian as she's going through, you know, her time as, you know, the first lady of Russia. Um, and her mother-in-law hates her, um, which is a classic theme. It's a very good series.

[01:05:56] Um, but I, I brought it up because we're studying revelations right now and we're at the part and it's revelation 17 where the whore of Babylon comes in. Um, and they speak about the whore of Babylon, the antichrist, the anti church and all of this stuff. And, um, there's been a lot of debate within our, within our, I love our Bible study because it's very open.

[01:06:23] It's what you, it's honestly, like, all we do is peel it apart. We read it, we dissect it together. We digest it together. Our pastor gives his best understanding of it. But I'm inclined to believe that the anti church, the one world church is the Catholic church. I've seen more than enough things throughout history to suggest that.

[01:06:46] Um, and the, the, the thing that really kind of drives the Catholic church away from a lot of the other Christian sects is that it, it's order, it's system very much. So is anti biblical for one thing.

[01:07:11] They, they pray to dead people, which you're not supposed to do saints, Mary. They also venerate and, and make Mary this iconic figure that though she's important, obviously she's not to be seen as the perpetual virgin. She wasn't a perpetual virgin. And Jesus had siblings, so she wasn't perpetual virgin.

[01:07:37] Um, you know, like they pray to her and, and that's, what's kind of the symbolic thing is that, um, this, this acute, um, worship of loose women,

[01:07:56] women who are willing to sell themselves, their, their, their, their sacred being, um, and, and to kind of trade the real faith for this power, for this, you know, this power, you shouldn't, you shouldn't need if there's actual justice, if God's, if God's kingdom is actually prevailing, there would just be peace.

[01:08:26] You wouldn't, you wouldn't need that kind of overlording and heavy hand and all of that. And I, I honestly think that's the same too, is that women wouldn't feel the way that they feel these days if men were leading the way that they were supposed to lead. It's very disordered. And within Catholicism, because there's such veneration of the female in this inappropriate way.

[01:08:54] And also it happens in, um, in Islam as well, by the way, they venerate Mary. Um, I've learned a lot of things, uh, now that, you know, I'm hearing through these things, but I want, I want to at least tell you about what I'm seeing all the time. What I'm perceiving.

[01:09:19] And, and it's, I think it's important for us ladies to hold virtue, to push back at certain things that we know are wrong, to not fall into fearful and reactive behavior and, and to man better from our men, not vilify them, but demand that they be the right kind of man.

[01:09:54] To sit at the head of our table and lead us. You know, I've said that to Rico before is that I'm not an easy lead. You know, if I'm not going to let my ship steer off into a freaking iceberg. Okay. It's not going to happen. Um, so if you want to lead, you better lead and you better lead well, because otherwise I'm going to grab the wheel out of your hands and I'm going to jerk that shit away from you.

[01:10:20] Um, but you know, I've, I've said it to him and more and more Rico has stepped into that position. And I'm, I'm quite pleased in him. He, like I said, he's been killing it this week. He's awesome. Um, and yeah. So other things that are women centric. I got to hang out with a group of women and have a ladies night.

[01:10:46] That was another, uh, very decadent evening. And the only, the reason why I can justify it is because it was celebrating my friend, Courtney. Um, Courtney is such an amazing person. She's the epitome of what I consider to be a friend.

[01:11:06] Not only that, but of a, a really good woman, you know, like a homemaker, uh, you know, she's not a mom yet, but she mothers everything around her. You know, she has dogs. She has a dog groomer. She, um, she makes a beautiful home.

[01:11:32] She, she cares in ways that are, I think, really valuable. Um, she's just a light, you know, like you just have such joy when you're around her and everybody that I know through her and that I met through her, her family, which was another amazing thing. The closeness that she has with her cousins and her aunts and everything. And that's who celebrated her birthday. We all gathered together.

[01:12:00] We went to the Monarch in Baltimore, which was really cool. It's very, um, great Gatsby-ish. And there was a beautiful burlesque show. It was, it was really awesome. Um, very classy. It was not, um, I mean, you know, it's a burlesque show, but it was classy, you know? And they had a beautiful band and, you know, uh, atmosphere. It's gorgeous. So highly recommend it. Um, the food was okay. You know, like it was a little overpriced, but it was good.

[01:12:29] Um, it was a decadent evening. Um, but that's what we wanted to do for Courtney. She's always been such a great friend to us. And just, you know, when I was asked to go out with all of them in that kind of evening, it's not something that I would, I would do on my own.

[01:12:46] And quite frankly, like, it's just not my jam, but I, I really enjoyed, um, stepping out from my friend and doing something that I wouldn't normally do. Well, that I, I don't do often. It's not that I wouldn't normally do that. I just wouldn't think to do. I wouldn't invoke for myself, you know, personally. Um, but I was really, really grateful to be a part of.

[01:13:13] And so the time, the money, the everything that, that was expelled for that venture, which I spent like two hours getting ready. I never get, I never spend two hours getting ready, but you know, everybody is like trading what they're wearing and things. It was, it was like an estrogen fest. It was awesome. And like I said, I don't do it often. So I kinda, I kinda fell into that.

[01:13:39] And, you know, I, I, again, I was convicted by what I'm reading in Radical and just the use of money and time and resources and all this stuff. And, um, you know, our everyday, you know, the fact that I have a bed to lay my head on, the fact that I have a roof above me, the fact that I have food in my refrigerator, the fact that I have money in my bank. I'm already wealthier than the majority of the world.

[01:14:08] And then when I have nights like that, especially now, I'm like, wow, man, like this is like, I'm like one of the wealthiest people in the world right now. And on top of it, sincere friendships, you know, like people that I know are forever people that, that I would be so honored to know for the rest of my life. And I hope I do, you know, it's just such amazing wealth.

[01:14:35] Um, it's, it's incredible. And so I, um, I've been doing that a lot lately. I've been dipping into the Bible and trying to, to find, um, where I stand in all of it. What my, what my, what my duties are, because I'm a, I'm an artist guys. Like that's a, that's a weird place in all of this to stand.

[01:15:01] I mean, art is a, is a space where, you know, you, you don't need it. You know, it doesn't feed you, but it's a reflection of the soul.

[01:15:16] And so I, I really want to make sure that my soul reflects things that I can be proud of and that I know shows off God's glory and magnificence and stands, um, stands on, on the right side of things. And invoke some people, the kind of passion that will, you know, make their gift shine. That's what I really want. And I, I see that with people like Courtney.

[01:15:46] She's amazing. And, um, you know, I'm so grateful for her. So that was another woman thing that happened this week. Um, I learned about the three B's. I just thought I'd mention that going back to the radical thing.

[01:16:02] Most churches, uh, the three B's are bricks, bodies, and bucks, you know, how to have what the world expects and what, you know, all these people who, when they look at you, they, they see something that they'll listen to or that they'll give authority away to.

[01:16:23] And that's, that's what I guess with, with the whole pro-life talk and everything and our governor and this, this new law guys. I don't know what you all have watched for the last five years, but I've seen a lot of people in power divert responsibility.

[01:16:47] Um, recently, um, insurance companies and people who work for insurance companies, they're, they're having to do a lot of extra paperwork. They're confronted with the fact that protocols have changed. They're not, they're not giving away healthcare anymore to anyone who's illegal to this country. So there's a lot, there's a lock in of processing and things like that.

[01:17:15] And the shit trickles down. And from what I can tell the people who own these businesses and everything, they're not going to be the ones that overly suffer the pangs of what happens with policy. It's going to be your everyday average American. And, and that's the thing guys, is that what I see about a lot of things is that we always try to, we, we give it to something else.

[01:17:44] We think of, Oh, you know, we've been past this law or we do this thing that this will make it better. Well, laws don't keep criminals from breaking them. I know they, they don't, they don't, they don't stop the criminals from breaking them. Now you can get help in enforcing the laws if there's actually justice and enforcement, but we haven't seen a lot of that lately.

[01:18:08] And I think that that's the reason why everyone's scared right now and panicked is because they're afraid that things are going to revert back to a darker time.

[01:18:23] And, and, and, and our history, but we have the benefit of knowing history and really knowing history and making movements that can push us past that and keep us level. We just have to pay attention and we, we have to not work out of fear. Don't give your power away. I don't need somebody to order me to do the right thing anymore.

[01:18:52] I'm a 43 year old woman. Okay. Like I can, I know what's right and wrong. I know when I'm doing it, you know, and most people know, most people know you can feel it in your heart, whether or not you're doing something that you shouldn't.

[01:19:06] You know, when you're being pressured to do something that you shouldn't, you know, and I, I, I don't feel just so everybody is clear that the new administration is going to solve all our problems. I consider Trump a populist. I consider him being a guy of the people and he's going to give the people what they want. We just not, we need to make sure we know what we're asking for.

[01:19:34] We need to hold our leaders accountable. We need to actually know the laws that exact, that, that already exist on the books. And we need to be grounded in, in virtue and principles that through time, space and memoriam have worked. And, you know, I, I, I think it's important for us to recognize that we are all sinners.

[01:20:05] Um, that's very important. And, and that leads me to a gift today. It was very odd. I don't hear from this man a lot. And I, I think I'm going to wrap the podcast up soon, uh, after here. Cause one, I have to clean my house. And two, we're, we're now at like an hour and 20 minutes. So I think we've gone on long enough and I'll spare you guys for the rest of your day. And hopefully this will give you some things to chew on. Hopefully you'll talk to me about it.

[01:20:33] I would love it if, you know, I, I got some interaction with my listeners, but if not, I, I, I do wish you really well. And this man, I, I met him during 2020. I went to a political, um, a political, I guess, rally. I'm not sure. It wasn't rally. It was like a meeting.

[01:20:54] And it was when my friend, Mike Peruca was running for, um, uh, AG in our state attorney general. And Mike Peruca is amazing. But, um, I went there and I met this odd character, Glenn. Um, if I'm honest, Glenn irritates me sometimes. He does.

[01:21:24] Um, he, uh, but he's not a bad man. He's a Christ follower. He was a Christ follower before I can't, you know, accepted Christ as my savior. So he's watched me for a while and he's just that quirky guy. He's an older gentleman. He's always hanging out with really beautiful ladies, or at least sending me pictures of him with beautiful ladies. He's a much older guy and, and he, he's odd, you know?

[01:21:52] Like, like, I don't, I don't really understand him, but I haven't kicked him out of my life. I haven't, like, you know, he's not threatening to me, you know? So I don't really, I don't really go after people unless I feel like they're a danger. You know, I don't, I don't get them out of my life unless they're really aggressively showing me that they're not, they're not going to be good. And, and, and Glenn has never proved that to me.

[01:22:21] So he's just kind of a quirky guy who text messages me randomly. And he'll, I'll sometimes wake up to like eight text messages and I'm like, oh my God, what's, and it's all from him. Well, today he sent me something about 2020 and about how I'll never forget how people acted and how they were, you know, stupid. And I felt the need to correct him. And I do, I do understand the frustration.

[01:22:51] Obviously, if you go back to 2020 and listen to any of my podcasts there, you'll hear the rage in my voice. Um, my heart was breaking at that time. Um, and it wasn't that I felt other people were stupid. I, I was so upset that no one would listen to me and that my friends were turning on me and I lost my job.

[01:23:19] I, then I was, you know, the government was telling us we couldn't leave our house. Like a whole bunch of crazy nonsense. They were forcing vaccines on me, which I didn't do. Um, but forced vaccinations, people were losing their jobs. I mean, it was, it's a lot to, I mean, anybody who can forget that time. I don't know. I don't know how you're better than me, I guess. I'll never forget it.

[01:23:44] But I have reached a point of forgiveness because none of the people who were doing what I perceived to do to be the wrong things, uh, are dumb people or stupid. I would never categorize them that way, but they were scared. And, and even, even then I would talk about how the way people acted was a product of fear.

[01:24:13] And I do think people did what they had to do. And I am grateful for 2020 because it clarified the kind of friendships and connections that I should have. It brought me to God. It brought me closer to my family. It allowed me to make connections that I would have never made. Um, the Jason Stapleton, you know, family of friends that I have, that I've met some of them I've tattooed.

[01:24:40] I've traveled to, I've hugged in person. I've done conventions with, um, you know, it's, it's incredible. I mean, the very journal that I write in comes from that space and there's so many gifts, but I would never call them stupid. And he, he did. And, and I, I had to convict him of that because I had to clarify. I was like, these are not stupid people. They weren't stupid. They were scared. And rightly so.

[01:25:08] There was a lot going on and I understand fear. But the only thing that I have found to take that away from me, not fully because I'm human and there's a lot to be scared of in this world. There's a lot of pain and suffering at to come.

[01:25:28] And I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't scared, but I feel braver towards it because I have God in my life and I believe in God and God has got me. And so I think that's, that's a big take home is that these people are afraid because they don't know where to put their faith. They don't know who to ask the questions of. They don't, they don't have guiding lights.

[01:25:58] And a lot of them are still lost. And that right now, I think deserves our compassion. People like my friend, Courtney, I hope somebody like me, I can only pray that I get that kind of opportunity. I don't care how big it is. It's going to be as small as this podcast. I pray it keeps to go on for another five and a half years. And if it grows great.

[01:26:27] I mean, that will be to the glory of God because I'm, I'm letting go and letting God. And I'm making this, like I said, I'm going to try this out for a year and, and give this up to God and communicate with you guys how God invokes throughout my week. So this wasn't a day by day account that I gave you this week of what happened this day, this day, this day.

[01:26:46] Um, but I, I, I want to kind of frame the happenings each week and give you a commentary, at least from my perspective, and maybe some nuggets that are awesome. And so one of the things that came up the first time I did this was a Bible verse of the day. And, uh, my first time it was the Bible verse that I quoted during my baptism, which I could not even believe again.

[01:27:15] It's first John, uh, four, I believe four, seven. Oh my God. I think that's right. Four, seven through eight. Um, and this time though. I, through rebuking a bit, Glenn, who was very gracious to my insights.

[01:27:45] Um, that's how the Bible verse of the day came to me. Um, because that's how a lot of our discussions kind of devolve. He'll say something and then I'll add to it. And then he might, he might just send me like a whole bunch of Bible verses, but this, this today, I'm not going to Google. I'm just going to give you what Glenn gave me because it came to me easy. And I do feel like that's God speaking to me.

[01:28:09] And I do think it was God's reward for correcting Glenn, because I felt the condemnation that, that Glenn was kind of dulling out with that word stupid. And I had to clarify and say, look, dude, we're all, we're all sinners. We cannot talk to people as Christ followers, as if we're better than them. Um, that's not a good look.

[01:28:40] That's not a good way to look, to see, because it's not the truth. It's not the reality. And it, it will hurt us if we take that position. And history has shown that it does hurt people. And, and while we have the kind of administration that is set and ready to give the majority of people what they want, we better know what we're saying and how we ask of it. And I want healing.

[01:29:10] I want, I want to connect with people. I want to love each other. I really do. I want to, I'm not here to hate you or condemn you. It's, it's above my pay grade. Like, I'm an artist, man. Like, I'm not a judge. I'm a connector. I'm a communicator. I'm somebody who, you know, has, has really no right to do any of those things.

[01:29:36] Um, so the Bible verse, coincidentally, they came up and it's so funny because as I'm, you know, telling, telling Glenn all this. He's like, you know, this is interesting because this is the Bible verse that came up today as the Bible, you know, the verse of the day. And it's James 4, 7 through 8. And I'm going to read it to you. It's really good. Um, so this is the Bible verse of the day. Uh, and then I'll leave you to your week.

[01:30:07] So it's James 4, 7 through 8. Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners, and purify your hearts, ye double-minded. So, I guess cliff notes here.

[01:30:33] I know I was talking a lot about females and everything, but I think I convicted both sexes in this conversation. And I hope that it shows you how God moved this week in my life. And I don't know what, I don't know what any of it means. Um, but I'm going to study it. I'm going to write it down. I'm going to document it. And I'm definitely going to talk to you guys about it. And I'm going to see what it does in my life.

[01:31:00] And, um, I'm so grateful. I'm grateful to Glenn for giving me this, uh, this passage for today. Um, I think it's great. And, uh, I wish you all a very powerful week. I hope that, that this hour and 30 minutes has been worth it, worth the listen, that you've enjoyed it. And that it helps you make good choices.

[01:31:31] God bless you all. Catch you next week. God willing. Mwah. Oh my God, diary listeners. I'm sorry, uh, but this is like a PS bonus kind of thing. I just wanted to shout out a person that was kind of came up this week that I didn't mention. And I wanted to Johnny Erickson Tata. She's an incredible person. She hosts a podcast called Johnny and friends.

[01:32:01] It's basically about how, um, you know, her disability has really brought her deeper into her faith and given her purpose. Uh, the woman is miraculous. If you don't know about Johnny Erickson, she, um, is a quadriplegic. And I actually, um, wrote into Michael Knowles's show on the daily wire because he was giving

[01:32:28] advice to somebody about, um, like his, his secular projection of an anti-suicide kind of plea. It wasn't, in my mind, it wasn't really good. I, I, I don't think that you can have a secular conversation about why you should or shouldn't kill yourself. I think that that there's only value to life.

[01:32:53] If you can believe there's in value itself and meaning and those, those things dip into the supernatural regardless. But I told him because the person he was being asked about, uh, was disabled and in a wheelchair. And I told him about Johnny Erickson and wanted him to know about her so that if he had a similar question in the future, that he would invoke her name because she's an amazing, iconic person.

[01:33:23] And I also, um, in my time giving to the people who've been affected in the Southern States, um, Asheville, North Carolina, I, I gave, um, to a Christian center, um, that, you know, does all these missions and stuff and then teaches kids. And one of their observances is Catherine and Jay Wolf. Catherine is a stroke survivor.

[01:33:47] And, um, she basically talks about how she works through her disability and how, you know, it is something that she, you know, really has found her faith through. Um, she's written several books, her and her husband and, um, you know, that their disabilities have, you know, in darkest times, there is hope. And the reason why I'm bringing that up is because I I've become very passionate about

[01:34:17] the idea of teaching. Obviously this podcast in a lot of ways calls upon a mentor, mentee situation, education, apprenticeship, learning journeys. It's all of those things. So one of the things that I'm investing in this week that I will report back to you, I imagine next week is that I'm attending this week, the, the West Virginia homeschooling conference. I'm very excited. I'm going to be hanging out with Allie Oxenblood.

[01:34:45] She is, um, one of the coordinators and members of the board of this, uh, homeschooling convention. So I'm, I'm very excited to do this again. Another awesome female, female, female, female, um, Catherine Wolf, Johnny Erickson, Tata, Allie Oxenblood, just, just ladies, man. Like I'm, I'm dipping into my lady zone. So, uh, and, and in great ways. So I, I hope, you know, this is, this is an add on bonus thing.

[01:35:14] I hope that by the end of the podcast, you don't get the sense that I dislike women or that, you know, whatever, that I'm anti woman. I couldn't, I couldn't be, I am a woman. Uh, I just, I want you all to know that, that, that these are the heroes for me and the people that I look to and that inspire me. So, um, yeah, I just wanted to give that to you to look out for, for next week.

[01:35:39] They felt important enough to add this little tidbit to the end of the podcast. So if you've gotten this far, thank you. Thank you. And God bless you later in next week. Bye. Thanks for listening. You can find the apprenticeship diaries on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Our IG is the underscore apprenticeship underscore diaries.

[01:36:05] If you would like to offer constructive criticism or an interview, drop us an email at theapprenticeshipdiaries at gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from our listeners.